Premature female orgasm

Discussion in 'Ask a Woman' started by Brisler, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. Brisler

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    Hmm, I think there was a similar thread somewhere, but now I can't find it... Anyway here goes.

    This is of course a luxury problem, but my girlfriend orgasms extremely quickly from penetration. Sometimes in under a minute. Of course I'm happy that she so easily finds pleasure in sex, but after the orgasm, she loosens up completely, and is too much "at ease" to orgasm again. I suspect that she orgasms pretty heavily, and usually she is just too exhausted to sustain an interest in the sexual act. No matter how long, how much or what we've tried, she has never been able to reach multiple orgasms in one session. It takes at least a couple of hours for her vagina to regain that level of "awareness" that allows her to orgasm again.

    Does anyone have any experience with this sorta thing? Is there any way to get the sex going again, if not to make her orgasm again, but for her vagina to "wake up".

    Damn, I know these descriptions suck, but I can only describe how her vagina feels to me, and it's really hard to put into words, but it is like the muscles all completely relax for an extended period of time. Now I'm by no means a stud, and I can easily finish anyway, but it is kind of anticlimactic, because she seems to temporarily be in an almost asexual state.

    She doesn't cum easily from petting, oral etc., so we are able to extend the act for quite some time, which we do, but this only decreases the "pre-orgasmic penetration time" (wow, isn't that a poetic phrase?).

    I hope this at all makes sense. Do any of you have any tips on how to make her last longer or how to increase the possibily of making her orgasm again? It seems to apply to every position we've tried.
     
  2. Enid

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    I don't know what to tell you. I think if she is not a multiple orgasm girl you really can't make her into one. Sorry.

    To make her last longer would only be something she can do -- ask her about that.
     
  3. Brisler

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    Yeah, I suspected as much. She is of course very interested in making it happen, but it just doesn't seem to work for us.

    As for the second part. I have asked her. We have been together for almost ten years, and she would also like the penetration part of the sexual act to last longer, so we've talked about it at great length over the years. Since we were quite young when we got together, neither of us has had many sexual partners beforehand, so I hoped we'd somehow missed the holy grail in the process :)
     
  4. Reddhott

    Reddhott New Member

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    Normally the question is asked in reverse. And the response is usually to spend time on whatever foreplay she enjoys before you enter. What if you reversed this? A little less foreplay on the front end?

    The other thing that comes to mind, guys are told to practice edging. Can you guys try the female version? Get her close, back off, switch it up?

    Generally speaking, the vagina of most women isn't that "aware" in the first place and most women do not orgasm from penetration alone.

    Another thing to consider is hormonal fluctuation. At some points in my cycle I can cum repeatedly. In other points, I could go for hours and never get there.

    Is this a problem or a puzzle? By that I mean, is your or her enjoyment diminished? Or is it just "what else can we try?"

    Maybe you are fixing what isn't broken?
     
  5. Brisler

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    We have tried "female edging", and it does prolong the act a little. But since it takes such a short time to "get her close", it too is a very quick process. And the third or fourth time she gets close, she will cum almost immediately. At that point it makes little sense to stop once more, since she will orgasm anyway, only in a less intense way than if the penetration continues.

    Hormonal fluctuation does play into it to some degree. She will be able to orgasm quickly at any point of in her cycle, but never several times. In general, the closer she gets to her period, the faster orgasm occurs. And during her period, whoa Nelly!

    I don't see this as a problem at all. None of my previous sexual partners were able to reach an orgasm through penetration (with me at least), so I'm very grateful that they come to her so easily. So it's more a question of trying to optimize what already works pretty well. So I'm not out to make drastic alterations that would ultimately make sex less pleasurable. I am just looking for a few "add-ons" to make it last a little longer

    And thanks by the way. I think the edging thing might be the best way to go. We just have to try different positions to find out which is the "least good", heh...
     
  6. Reddhott

    Reddhott New Member

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    Is your goal for her to have multiples? Because she may not be wired that way.

    Does she stop enjoying sex after she has cum? Are you being "short changed" (she gets hers and then stops?)

    Or is it to make sex last longer?
     
  7. Brisler

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    I would love to give her multiples and she would love to multiple orgasms, but I realize that maybe that just doesn't happen.

    After her orgasm, she becomes almost asexual. She doesn't stop (unless the orgasm has been particularly intense), but I think she's pretty much indifferent at that point, maybe consumed by some feeling of being "spent" or something. I don't really know how women feel after an orgasm. It's more a question of me finishing up at that point. It doesn't bother me all that much, I still get my jollies (besides, seeing her satisfied is at least half the plesure), but it is a little anticlimactic.
     
    #7 Brisler, Oct 4, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2013
  8. Reddhott

    Reddhott New Member

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    Again, I guess I would say reverse things up a bit, get you closer to cumming before you enter her.

    For me, sex feels good no matter whether I get my O or not. And watching / feeling him enjoy is a big part of what is good about sex. She might need to suck it up and put in more effort for you. If she 's checking out after she cums, it's no wonder she is only getting one.

    Sometimes ya gotta fake it to make it. I have had times when I wasn't feeling it, so I started clamping down on those muscles that usually spasm on their own. Starting the action can sometimes cascade down to a real orgasm.

    Either way, no one wants to fuck a rag doll.
     
  9. Brisler

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    I get what you're saying. It's not that she wants to check out though, I don't think she has any control over it. After about five minutes, she's able to get back to it, but just hasn't got the same feel to it, it's hard to explain, even if she makes all sorts of moves and tricks, her vagina literally feels different.

    So it's not like fucking a rag doll. The intensity is just lacking a bit. Not that I can blame her, I'm completely useless in every way after I cum.
     
  10. Reddhott

    Reddhott New Member

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    So your ideal, if she can't have multiple, is to last a bit longer for you? Again, don't get her so worked up before you penetrate her, maybe concentrate a little more on getting you close. A little edging, and maybe the two of you can sync a little closer.

    Face it, your cock is just THAT good. The girl can't help herself ; )
     
  11. AlteredEgo

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    She needs to practice edging when she masturbates. Same as I would tell a guy. This Is her shortcoming, and her responsibility if she cares about the pleasure of her sexual partner.
     
  12. LaFemme

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    This was kind of how it was for me. I generally cum pretty quickly, sometimes upon entry but then I would kind of lose my interest. I could fake it and sometimes work up to another weak almost orgasm, but not that often. But doing what Hotty describes changed it for me. Using kegels (at least a couple sets of 200 a day) really got me strong. Then mimicking the clenching that happens during orgasm brings on another real one. I can cum over and over again.

    It might not work for your girlfriend, but it sure is fun practicing pulsating around a boyfriend's cock! :biggrin1:
     
  13. Brisler

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    Thanks, guys! I'll try to suggest that she ups the ante on those kegels.

    I know that she's been practicing edging while masturbating. I guess it takes a little more work on her part than I initially anticipated. Luckily, LaFemme is right. When it comes to sex, learning is fun.