A couple of years back I went into the hospital as an outpatient for tests. While the nurse was prepping me (no shaving required, thank god) she asked the routine set of questions, but when she went to roll me into the procedure room she stopped and asked if I had any piercings. I tugged on both ears and said "nope!" She said, "Not there. I mean where I didn't see." Oh, so I pulled down my sheet and showed her my nipples - bare. No again. Further south. Then it hit me! I scrunched up my legs in pain and gave her an awful grimace. She said "I'll take that as a no."
I don't even have so much as a tattoo! And that makes me suspect with the guys in the band that I play with. They at least have an earring or four and a few tats here and there, but I'm as unscathed as the day I was born. Long time ago they were teasing me about it and Jake, our drummer, said "Man, I bet you even have your foreskin." Jake was new to the group and the other guys just burst out laughing. One of them told Jake "he's got enough foreskin to make you a hat!"
I love being the source of others amusement.