I've been inspired by the guy at The Temple of Eros to re-think my attitudes. I've been jacking off every couple of days. The tensions build up. I fight them, but in the end give in because I need to clear my head and get back to work. I find some porn image to help me and that's it. I've constantly been fighting the tensions and losing.
It's no great way of living. Is that all my sexuality is - an unwanted and unbeatable foe? Surely better to embrace it?
'Love your body', says the guy. I resist caressing myself. It's sees weird. But why? 'Celebrate your beauty. we are all beautiful' - yet I want to look like my latest porn star/muscle god crush. I don't like or want my own body. I need to learn to love my body and enjoy it.
And when I work out, I'm doing battle with my body - making it do stuff when it wants to chill out on the sofa with coffee and a croissant. But I need to make my work out sensuous. I need to feel and enjoy the working of my muscles. How did my current muscle god crush manage to jack off on camera so beautifully? Because he loves his body - with good reason!
It's no great way of living. Is that all my sexuality is - an unwanted and unbeatable foe? Surely better to embrace it?
'Love your body', says the guy. I resist caressing myself. It's sees weird. But why? 'Celebrate your beauty. we are all beautiful' - yet I want to look like my latest porn star/muscle god crush. I don't like or want my own body. I need to learn to love my body and enjoy it.
And when I work out, I'm doing battle with my body - making it do stuff when it wants to chill out on the sofa with coffee and a croissant. But I need to make my work out sensuous. I need to feel and enjoy the working of my muscles. How did my current muscle god crush manage to jack off on camera so beautifully? Because he loves his body - with good reason!