And it ends as quickly as it started...

Tobias broke up with me. Says he has problems and isn't ready for a relaionship. He said he wouldn't mind being friends, but thinks we need to take a break for a "while" before we try to be friends. I don't want to be his friend. I can't carry on friendly conversation with the man I'm in love with.

I've never felt this way about anybody, and I mean that when I say it. I honestly thought that we'd have a future together. But he wants to break up. So be it. I'm just in shock. He seemed so in love with me, and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I just lost a piece of myself. A vital piece. I think he just took a piece of my soul with him...

Help me.

Comments

Shit!! I hate it when that happens!!!

Yes, he DID take a piece of your soul with him. You can regrow that piece -- and hopefully be even better and stronger -- but it takes time.

My only advice is to spend as much time as possible with other human beings. Unfortunately, internet buddies don't quite "do it". Easier said than done when you have a small child and a schedule.

Also, exercise, nutrition AND.... (this is corny but it works for me) dancing: Dance as much and as often as you can. Dance with your son. Dance when doing the dishes. Dance when all you feel like doing is sitting down and sobbing. Take a dance class. Go out dancing with friends (male or female).

OK, yes, you're going to think I'm nuts, but it REALLY REALLY works.

Maybe because MOTION helps us control EMOTION.
 
Just remember that your happiness is in your hands...and only your hands. No one else has the power to give you happiness. You find it in yourself.
 
Oh hun. :hug: I'm sorry you're hurting. I could ramble on about my theories why guys do things this way- seemingly out of nowhere- like they've had a 'sudden' revelation, but they'd still only be my theories. I've had the same thing happen, when I was at university. I was gobsmacked, I thought we were happy and moving forward, he woke up one day and said he wasn't ready. It took all my willpower to keep my pride intact by letting him go without a big emotional trip. Later, when he decided he was suddenly 'ready'- it was too late. I told him no one gets a second chance to hurt me.
Try not to over-analyze every little thing to figure out why he changed. Just remember its not your fault, its nothing wrong with you, and he has done you a favour by not letting it go further if his feelings were not committed enough.
I'm thinking of you- and like NP says, dance! it does help keep you from brooding and increases your levels of dopamine. Take care, we're here for ya
 
I'm going through something more or less similar myself. It's not easy to just "forget someone." The advice given here by everyone is about the best I could give as well... hell, I should consider taking it.

I wish you the best.
 
Oh Meg,

I am so sorry to hear that sweetheart! I know you really were enjoying your new found love. No matter how many times it happens to us nothing can quite prepare us for the shock of a sudden turn around. I am sending a big hug through the computer to you right now. I will pray for you and your emotional recovery in the days ahead.
 

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