Because I can't post this on facebook

I've been stressed and feeling super anxious a lot lately because of some of my co-workers/"friends".

They're not really my friends. They are big pains in my ass. I thought I was friends with these girls and they just continually build me up and let me down and I'm just plain sick of it.

Their negativity is affecting me in the worst possible way.

Is it worth the fallout of unfriending them on facebook? I know this is so dumb. I happen to work with this group of girls so I have to see them almost every day.

If I didn't, I wouldn't think twice about unfriending them.

I am, for the most part, pretty non-aggressive and I try to avoid confrontation in my every day life. I'm a people pleaser and it tends to get me walked over.

But I'm just so sick of it.

What would you do? I'm tired of seeing their updates about excluding me.

We had all been planning on a big vacation to the Keys 2 weeks ago - and I got left out of the planning, then told the trip was canceled, then back on again, and then canceled when one of the girls "G" encountered some drama from a guy who actually hit her in the face and they wanted to send him a message that it's not ok to hit girls - but canceling our vacation because we -might- run into him in the keys. I was pissed because I was not included in this decision to cancel the vacation that I'd been looking forward to all year.

Then, thanks to facebook, I see that the girl who was the main reason for canceling the trip WENT ANYWAY with another girl from the group "D". Just the two of them. No one else. On the sly.

I was furious.

The girls in this group talk so much shit about "D" that they only used her for her connections in the Keys and she's just fucking oblivious to it all.

I'm just sick and done with it.

I'm posting this here because I can't really talk about it at work w/o someone running their mouth off.

So, friends of LPSG, any advice? To friend or unfriend?

Comments

Oi! The "Facebook drama" is the main reason I have no account; never have, and never plan to. My friends and family know how to get a hold of me just fine without it. No matter that....I am sorry to hear that these girls have been busy being self centered and trampling your feelings. They don't sound much like the definition of what a friend, or even a co-worker ought to be. If you believe in karma, then believe that it will circle around on them one day. As an alternative to unfriending them, why not consider pulling the pin on this Facebook account and creating a new one. A new one that you don't share with them.
 
Ahhh the dreaded girl wars. Hurting other girls in their group right where it hurts, other girls. You're a smart woman and really can do without these girls who still play high school games. Realistically, they are just co-workers. Unfriend them at once and make all of your info private. I suggest this because once you have a fb account you can't delete it.
 
Dump the girls. If they add nothing but stress and strife you are better off not having them. They certainly aren't friends.
 
Ugh, I can't stand stuff like that. I have friends from my work, but only one I would really consider a friend. A bunch of them are on my facebook, but I never visit that site. I've been on once since December because someone was crying about me not accepting their friend request. Knowing the type of drama unfriending these people could cause I think it might be a mistake to remove them IF you don't like confrontation. I do my best to avoid drama, I think that you can select to no longer receive updates from them? If I remembered my FB password I would go check!
 
To hell with doing anything with these girls anymore there, SK.
Clearly they have no interest in making you inclusive in decisions about something you have planned on for some time, then go behind your back and do it anyways. Know what that's called? Hypocrisy- of the worst kind.
Lose them and unfriend them fast.
 
Do not unfriend them. Do not react at all...except to gradually withdraw from the friendships. If this was not work, you could easily choose not to see them again. But you have to deal with them on a daily basis and a sudden withdrawal will only lead to recriminations and further problems. Just be mature about this...if they don't value you, they are of no value to you. If you have truly decided that there is no place in your life for them except for work, then there is no need to send a message or create a scene. Just change your facebook so you don't get updates and slowly pull back.
 
You can do this a nice way.... on FB there is an option to "Hide Activity" from certain friends.... you will not see their posts or anything never hear from them...so it is almost as ifyou have 'unfriended them' without their knowledge. You will not get updates from them (works for me!!)

Remembering that, always be careful about what post on FB. Many people use FB like a diary and spill their guts about everything.... I say "not cool." It will always come backto bite you in the butt. Use FB as a fun opp to let pple know the GOOD things going on in your life...or to share kind words of encouragement with friends.

Good luck....and listen to nicenydick...he sounds like he has a good head on his shoulder....
 
I agree with a lot of the other people but you are seriously going to have to get over the whole use of the word "friend."

Generally, people that you work with cannot be your friend. Find people outside of work because I am pretty sure that work is not getting done while all of this drama is going on.

The only reason that you all are "friends" is because of the commonality of work. If this were not true then you may have known what was going on outside of work. What friends take trips and you don't know about them? Friends share.

Had to respond to this post because you have an awesome screen name.
 
I say drop them. If they give you any grief tell them that you no longer want to mix your private life with your professional life. Work friends, I've come to realize aren't always your real friends.
 
nicenycdick;bt32680 said:
Do not unfriend them. Do not react at all...except to gradually withdraw from the friendships. If this was not work, you could easily choose not to see them again. But you have to deal with them on a daily basis and a sudden withdrawal will only lead to recriminations and further problems. Just be mature about this...if they don't value you, they are of no value to you. If you have truly decided that there is no place in your life for them except for work, then there is no need to send a message or create a scene. Just change your facebook so you don't get updates and slowly pull back.
I totally agree with Nicenyc and also with Fancy's advice.
Find some friends that are worth your time, effort and friendship, of course :wink:

 
I know this is kinda old to be posting to but I wanted to share...

I keep two accounts. One for "public" cunsumption and one for private use only. I love the "hide" option Fancy mentioned! I decided about 3 years ago that I had had enough of the nastiness and behind the back talking that some of my "friends" were engaged in and I have to tell you it felt so good to at least stop hearing it all! I did take the gradual approach that August86 is talking about because I didn't want to draw their attention to what I was doing. I must say it worked and I am soooo much happier for doing it! Hope this helped and that you're out of thier crosshairs by now. Good Luck!
 
SprinkleMe69;bt32667 said:
Ahhh the dreaded girl wars. Hurting other girls in their group right where it hurts, other girls. You're a smart woman and really can do without these girls who still play high school games. Realistically, they are just co-workers. Unfriend them at once and make all of your info private. I suggest this because once you have a fb account you can't delete it.

you can get it terminated like i did by putting my dick on there as my profile picture, haha.
 

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