Being the "other guy"

So I'm going to be visiting my folks soon and can't wait to see my friends and family. However their is a complicated situation, with me and one of my friends.

See one of my friends and I have been sort of having an affair for almost 3 years now. We've been friends for a long time, and it started when he found out my size. Well one drunken night we compared cocks. After that it would progress a little more,hanging out naked, watching porn etc until one night while very drunk I sort of groped him in his sleep (I felt like such a creep, even though I was so drunk I had no idea what I was doing) he woke up and we went to the bathroom and gave each other head. (From what I can remember) After that things kind of cooled off then another drunken night we did the same things, got drunk and I gave him head. This was the beginning of the affair.
Now here's the thing, not only did he have a gf at the time, he is engaged now. He has cheated on her before, and in my opinion he's with her because he can't get anyone else, he's a great guy but very socially awkward around people. The last time we fooled around though, I felt very guilty. Strange thing is every other time I didn't have any problem but that time I felt like I was fucking up his life.
Now I'm going to go see him and at this point I know our friendship is kind of to fucked up to go back to normal. I know I'll want to fool around with him again and that I'm not good at turning down temptation. I just don't want to screw his life up.

Comments

guy...i see none of this as your problem...be true to yourself, controling someone else mind/body/spirit/relationship...does not matter...it is not going to work, ever never, end of story.
Now that being said to feel someone's pain is a good thing, and you are a good friend with benefits, move along out of his life, sometimes looking at the bigger picture may be the best thing to do.
 
I wish I had a magic answer for you. Are you fucking up his life? No he is, but you are contributing to it. If you continue to feel guilty than you really do need to stop. Sex isn't really worth all that unless you are looking to start up a relationship with him, and it doesn't look like you are. Yes you my have to end your friendship. Rarely can a relationship go back to just friends once the sexual boudary has been broken. Unfortunately that is just a fact of life. Yup, it ain't fair, but no one asked us if it was. Best of luck to you.
 
being the other guy sucks...it's a no-win situation...sure, you can have some fun...some good sex...but at the end you're still not getting all that you need or deserve...even with that said, don't beat yourself up too much...after all, he's the one who's in a relationship, not you...he's the one who's cheating on his gf, not you...and if being with him makes you feel guilty, don't do it!
 

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lokican
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