Being told I should stay on the 'DL'

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I'm not going to lie, some of the comments on my last blog were kind of disheartening. Most were pretty supportive, but some just rubbed me the wrong way. I've been thinking about how to respond to them, and figured it would be best to just put it all out there.

First, I don't feel the need to be on the "DL". The kind of people I keep in my company are quite accepting and treat others how I would expect any human being to be treated by another human being. Thus, they accept me for who I am (as I would accept them for whomever they chose to love).

As to the reasons I should stay in the closet, I don't find them suitable. For one, maybe the reason bisexuality isn't really accepted today is because too many people are stuck being incredibly confused and hiding who they are because they are afraid of what others would think. If it weren't for people speaking up about who they were gay rights wouldn't exist (although it's debatable that they even exist now), homosexuality would still be considered a mental disorder, and we would have a good 10% of our population lying to themselves on a daily basis. Sounds like a great world, right? Second, I in no way consider myself a 'double agent'. It's ridiculous for people to think that, but I won't argue that they do. It's obvious that being with someone who is attracted to both sexes could become difficult. I'm not blind to this fact. However, for me at least, being bisexual doesn't mean I need a man AND a woman. It means I like men and women and want to be with ONE man or ONE woman. Notice I used the word OR, I don't want one of each.

Another thing I found disturbing was the 'ask for a threesome with your friends' comment. Ok, 1. I don't want to have sex with my friends. That is why they're my friends, not my girlfriends. 2. Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I want to have sex with a guy and girl at the same time. People assume all guys are into threesomes. I don't find them appealing in any way. With two girls, two guys, or a guy and a girl. No thank you. Plus, that just adds to the idea that bisexuals are sex hungry 'double agent' pigs. Sorry, not feeling that view of myself. It just doesn't fit.

Feel free to let me know what you think. I'm not bashing anyones opinions or comments either. You're entitled to your opinion, but I'm also entitled to mine, so don't take it personally.

Comments

Just be prepared for some rejection when approaching potential sexual partners who are entirely straight or gay.
 
I think you should live your life the way it makes you happy, whether its with a man or a woman. At the end of the day society doesnt pay your bills and you deserve to be happy the same way 100% straight people want to be happy. You do it for your happiness because whether we like it or not there is always going to be someone out there with a negative opinion, so you cant live your life trying to please outsiders, you need to live it for yourself so at the end of the day you can lay down proud of yourself that you wasnt being fake with who you truly are.

I think everyone deserves to be happy whether your straight, gay, bisexual, green, red, orange.. we were all made different for a reason and who ever does like it can but a one way tickets to mars and go live their life in a bubble...

;-)
 
Honesty is the best policy and you clearly recognize that, so you're a guy with integrity.

What RedDude said is true to a degree - some people aren't going to be comfortable with that fluidity in your sexuality.

But I don't think it's something that requires that you be in a perpetual state of worry and alarm about. There will ALWAYS be things about you or any of us - who you are, what you think and believe - that might mean you don't get to meet, date or hook up with another person.

It might make the dating scene suck a bit, but it's also going to mean then when you find the right partner, he or she will appreciate you and know who you are.
 
D
Now that's more like it. I wasn't really searching to be validated, but thanks for backing me up. I don't expect everyone to be able to accept me for me, but I found it disturbing that people told me to basically lie to others and myself about who I am. I guess some people just don't get it...
 
You have to do whatever you feel is right. Screw what others think. Its your life live it the way You want it.
 

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