Best Friends Love part 2

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After all this time thinking, reflecting, dreaming about my friend and I, I finally created a situation where he would say if he wants to be with me or not for good. Its been a long time in the real world since the last time I wrote the previous part of this history but, lets keep going.
A month ago we were at our finals on college, I was so tense, thinking about work, homeworks, projects, planning the future etc and he suddenly called me, asking me out just to chill, of course I had butterflies as he gave this idea. We had a chat on the phone, he wanted to go to the mall, and I agreed- of course- he picked me up on his car, like a prince charming ♡ I was enchanted by his smile/warmth/beauty and his deep warm voice, I entered the car, we talked I kept eye contact and he wasn't avoiding wich made me very anxious, he put some songs in the radio romantic music, talking about love, shyness and all those cutie cheesy things... I was getting hard and he noticed I tried to cover it but it was to late he got interested, it seemed like a panic that he had.
Then we arrived at the mall, we had lunch, just the two of us, looking at each other, he said that he's going to gym now, I was noticing his arms are bigger, his forearms are thicker, I got some heat down there Woof :laughing::sob::tired_face: we had so much fun, between stares and glances we talked of our feelings and all, he wanted to buy a shirt for me, but something happened with his card and we didn't bought it, we entered a great number of stores then we left the mall, more romantic music in his car, I was leaving pretty clear that I loved that day, when we were in the front door of my house he hugged me and said "goodbye, hope I see u soon" - I could've done something at that moment but I just hugged him back.
The next day I was at work I remembered I had a dream with him, he was mine, the dream of us together married and all.... I crashed down cuz this awful feeling invaded my being a sudden thought saying that I wouldn't have him. After all this dilemma I asked my coworker "what should I do?" She said "text him, say that yesterday was amazing and that you felt a connection with him, and if he felt it too, that if he is or not into you" and as she said this to me I texted him, my heart was poundin in my chest so hard that I thought I would pass out, after all, he is my friend... a few hours passed and he replied "I told you before, you are AMAZING, but I don't feel attracted to men, you must have felt confused cuz yesterday we went out like a couple does, dont bother... you are amazing but I can't" I understood what he said and deep, deep down I knew this would happen, I cried but I set my mind free of that anguish...
Now he is still my bestfriend, he is hot af, but Im trying to not feel attracted to him like I used to be, he is confused and confusing but I vant let him mess with my head like that...
This is the end.... for now

Comments

D
@Lokopajero in a way he is, I mean when he wants to talk he be like all cheesy and clingy with me but when the H hour comes and I confront him, he simply dodges my approach
 

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