Idk how to start this tale cuz its actually my story and it still going.
Well, when I finished my high-school with all those feelings divided and chaotic for men and women, I had to start think in College, that was when I started to think about "if I met a cool guy there?", "if I met a cool chic there?"... At first I need to make friends-I thought- its easy for me to make friends and in less than a month at Engineering classes I met a lot of people and a group of friends that was already tight, that group had Dan (fictional name for my friend cuz I won't expose him here) when I glanced him the first thought that came into my mind was "holy shit! Its him!". He is that type of guy that likes to draw attention to himself (me too but this is about him), I didnt want him in my life cuz I felt that if he entered in my history he would change everything, he was loud, funny, overthinker, loved to speak first and give the last word, I thought he was being just so toxic, but I ended up loving the other facet of him, his kindness, his smile(that melts my heart), his laugh, his voice, how he concerns about the people he cares, theres so much to describe him, but I'll get straight to the point that we spent 3 years together as just friends from 2017 to 2020, but at the end of 2019 I had to change to another College, a bigger and known one, I hadnt told him cuz I thought he wouldn't care, when I moved I mentiomed it to him and he said "I'll follow you wherever you go"...
We moved together to this new College in the beginning of 2020, at the first week, they have this huge opening party and a warm welcoming to the new students so we went to join the party, at the main hall of the College there is this columns and arcs, I leaned on the column just wondering like "wow there is so many people here!!!" And he got closer to me, slowly, I noticed that he was moving his face toward me and I pushed away like "Dan we are too close" he pretended he didn't listen to me, and stayed in that position, I stared into his eyes and he didnt even flinch, I FROZE!
But then he said "people will think we are a couple" and I was like " maybe he is into me" - cuz I have never realized that before, he is cute and all but I saw him kissing a girl and being all fuckboy mode, without fucking anyone- meanwhile we were walking through the College to know it better, we found a pretty cool, quite place e sat one in front of each other I looked at him once more, I got a pump down there like "Woah, calm down" and he was talking about feelings and all, but I didn't care cuz I was to scared at the moment. Yas I'm an idiot!
Covid-19 happened and we got quarantined, me at my house, he at his, but we kept in touch. At the ending of 2020 I finally realized that I'm possibly a Bi guy, I had that handjob situation at the bus with a stranger, lot of flirting in my gym, but one day I opened up to a friend in common, she is also a Dan's friend, I told her Im possibly Bi and she said, "dude! I guess Dan is indecise about that too...he is confusing". At this moment everything started to get into place - my brain works like a computer,so I started to remember all the moments we spent together and his speeches talking about his feelings, one of them was very important he said "I guess deep down everyone is Bi", he said it three time the last to we had eye to eye contact so it was deep!
Since than I started to feel something about him that was bigger than friendship, but I was afraid cuz he had already asked me several times before if I was into guys, and I denied...
So now the table must be against me...
After months of reflection I finally decided to meet him at the beach, he wanted us to be alone, just us, but my family went to the beach with me, when he arrived, his smile made my day worth it, we talked a LOT I told him I was into men too, told him all of my shin at once, he got concerned about me LOL! But as we got through the convo, he was giving me a look, that I cant even begin to describe - oh fck I'm in love LOL- at this time we were and the shore just looking the waves crash down, but then he almost got sunburnt and I took him to our "tent", I layed down right beside him, I was with my legs folded cuz I got a hardon and I couldnt show it - obviously - and he did the same but his head was tilting in my direction my sight camp got his head makimg this movement like he was trying to make me look at him, but we were so close that if I tilted my head in his direction we would be a inch from kissing, he made this movement about 3 times at the fourth I looked at him and stared him in the eyes, the look on his eyes was saying like "kiss me already, but not here" "be careful, your family is here" "are u sure u wanna risk everything for me", so I hold it back and said that I had to leave, my mother made me go out with a girl that was there too cuz she sensed something would happen between me and my friend... and because of this girl I couldn't kiss him but I almost did it, we said goodbye to each other and that was it for that day.
A week later he sent me a message at my phone which woke me up, at that day I told him I liked him, he said " we got a problem, I told u at the beach that I dont find men body attractive..." I didn't say anything cuz he is confusing a lot a LOT of times he said "aw he is hot" " oh man u are beautiful" " he is so uhh" and so passionately he said those things so to describe him shortly Id say * lovely and confusing * , but we figured ourselves out, we kept cool, we talked I almost cried, he said that I dont ever need to apologize, and he huged me, a hug so warm so intense I almost melt down.
I thought that declaring to him that i "liked" him would make this affliction go away, but it wasnt gone, the feelimg that I felt for him got bigger and bigger, we crossed again close to my house about 2 weeks later, he was so fuckimg hot and cute, I couldnt look him in the eyes cuz I thought like " I love him, and he doesnt notice?! How can it be?! He must live his life and I might not be in it as the love of his life"....
Keep in touch for part 2
Well, when I finished my high-school with all those feelings divided and chaotic for men and women, I had to start think in College, that was when I started to think about "if I met a cool guy there?", "if I met a cool chic there?"... At first I need to make friends-I thought- its easy for me to make friends and in less than a month at Engineering classes I met a lot of people and a group of friends that was already tight, that group had Dan (fictional name for my friend cuz I won't expose him here) when I glanced him the first thought that came into my mind was "holy shit! Its him!". He is that type of guy that likes to draw attention to himself (me too but this is about him), I didnt want him in my life cuz I felt that if he entered in my history he would change everything, he was loud, funny, overthinker, loved to speak first and give the last word, I thought he was being just so toxic, but I ended up loving the other facet of him, his kindness, his smile(that melts my heart), his laugh, his voice, how he concerns about the people he cares, theres so much to describe him, but I'll get straight to the point that we spent 3 years together as just friends from 2017 to 2020, but at the end of 2019 I had to change to another College, a bigger and known one, I hadnt told him cuz I thought he wouldn't care, when I moved I mentiomed it to him and he said "I'll follow you wherever you go"...
We moved together to this new College in the beginning of 2020, at the first week, they have this huge opening party and a warm welcoming to the new students so we went to join the party, at the main hall of the College there is this columns and arcs, I leaned on the column just wondering like "wow there is so many people here!!!" And he got closer to me, slowly, I noticed that he was moving his face toward me and I pushed away like "Dan we are too close" he pretended he didn't listen to me, and stayed in that position, I stared into his eyes and he didnt even flinch, I FROZE!
But then he said "people will think we are a couple" and I was like " maybe he is into me" - cuz I have never realized that before, he is cute and all but I saw him kissing a girl and being all fuckboy mode, without fucking anyone- meanwhile we were walking through the College to know it better, we found a pretty cool, quite place e sat one in front of each other I looked at him once more, I got a pump down there like "Woah, calm down" and he was talking about feelings and all, but I didn't care cuz I was to scared at the moment. Yas I'm an idiot!
Covid-19 happened and we got quarantined, me at my house, he at his, but we kept in touch. At the ending of 2020 I finally realized that I'm possibly a Bi guy, I had that handjob situation at the bus with a stranger, lot of flirting in my gym, but one day I opened up to a friend in common, she is also a Dan's friend, I told her Im possibly Bi and she said, "dude! I guess Dan is indecise about that too...he is confusing". At this moment everything started to get into place - my brain works like a computer,so I started to remember all the moments we spent together and his speeches talking about his feelings, one of them was very important he said "I guess deep down everyone is Bi", he said it three time the last to we had eye to eye contact so it was deep!
Since than I started to feel something about him that was bigger than friendship, but I was afraid cuz he had already asked me several times before if I was into guys, and I denied...
So now the table must be against me...
After months of reflection I finally decided to meet him at the beach, he wanted us to be alone, just us, but my family went to the beach with me, when he arrived, his smile made my day worth it, we talked a LOT I told him I was into men too, told him all of my shin at once, he got concerned about me LOL! But as we got through the convo, he was giving me a look, that I cant even begin to describe - oh fck I'm in love LOL- at this time we were and the shore just looking the waves crash down, but then he almost got sunburnt and I took him to our "tent", I layed down right beside him, I was with my legs folded cuz I got a hardon and I couldnt show it - obviously - and he did the same but his head was tilting in my direction my sight camp got his head makimg this movement like he was trying to make me look at him, but we were so close that if I tilted my head in his direction we would be a inch from kissing, he made this movement about 3 times at the fourth I looked at him and stared him in the eyes, the look on his eyes was saying like "kiss me already, but not here" "be careful, your family is here" "are u sure u wanna risk everything for me", so I hold it back and said that I had to leave, my mother made me go out with a girl that was there too cuz she sensed something would happen between me and my friend... and because of this girl I couldn't kiss him but I almost did it, we said goodbye to each other and that was it for that day.
A week later he sent me a message at my phone which woke me up, at that day I told him I liked him, he said " we got a problem, I told u at the beach that I dont find men body attractive..." I didn't say anything cuz he is confusing a lot a LOT of times he said "aw he is hot" " oh man u are beautiful" " he is so uhh" and so passionately he said those things so to describe him shortly Id say * lovely and confusing * , but we figured ourselves out, we kept cool, we talked I almost cried, he said that I dont ever need to apologize, and he huged me, a hug so warm so intense I almost melt down.
I thought that declaring to him that i "liked" him would make this affliction go away, but it wasnt gone, the feelimg that I felt for him got bigger and bigger, we crossed again close to my house about 2 weeks later, he was so fuckimg hot and cute, I couldnt look him in the eyes cuz I thought like " I love him, and he doesnt notice?! How can it be?! He must live his life and I might not be in it as the love of his life"....
Keep in touch for part 2