Hello dear readers,
This topic is one of the most discussed ones (ad nauseam) on this site and many others. While I don’t pretend to have any puritanical evidence to end the conversation once and for all, I do have some opinions and experiences that I think are worth sharing with anyone interested enough to read this.
Like many men (and women), I was exposed to sex through dirty magazines in my youth. Aside from seeing the perfection of the airbrushed female form, I also saw the advertisements in the back of the magazines. Many of these ads were aimed at “helping” men be able to succeed sexually with women.
The focus of the ads usually centered around teaching these clueless men what to say to women to guarantee they would sleep with them (they really did paint a picture of vapid females just waiting for a pickup line to start their engines).
The other ads would invariably have a photo of Johnny Holmes or some other huge dick person, gorgeous girl draped on their arm staring down at their veiny member.
(I first saw the above photo in my step dad’s porn magazine. It was the first time seeing a huge dick and left a permanent impression on me. I just found it again recently and upon closer inspection it appears to be faked. This is from the mid 70s. So I was made to feel inferior by a fake monster cock).
The ads would tout some penis pill that would transform your sorry weinie into a throbbing horse cock that all the women would line up for.
Those ads alone left quite an impression on my young mind about how important penis size was and that women only wanted “huge”. The bigger the better. That was the measure of a man.
Later on, I would talk to my girl friends and they would often speak of their boyfriend’s 10 inch dicks (or even bigger). I hadn’t had sex yet and was getting the impression that these other guys all seemed to be bigger than me. I had measured mine and it was a far cry from the 10 inches and above that so many of the boys claimed, as well as their girlfriends. It hadn’t occurred to me that maybe these boys were lying or that the girlfriends were just repeating the number they were told.
Between these claims and looking at the huge dicks in porn magazines I became very insecure.
So much so that I wouldn’t change in the locker room or urinate in a urinal where someone might see my underwhelming dick and let everyone in the school know how I rated. At the same time, I was also intrigued at seeing huge dicks in porn and how amazing it must be to have women worship you and your massive dong.
It became a question that I would ask all my girl friends who I knew were having sex. I’d figure out a way to ask “so, does he have a big one?” and wait for the answer, which was almost always “he’s huge”.
I decided that since I didn’t have size on my side I would learn to do the other thing that I “knew” women wanted sexually. That was for the sex to be fast, hard and last forever.
I would masturbate and immediately get hard again. I would do this over and over until I didn’t lose my erection after ejaculating so I could go forever, seemingly.
Fast forward to my first time having sex. I predictably came after a few minutes BUT I didn’t lose my erection and was able to go for about an hour and a half total (not bragging). I had no idea what I was doing but I could go fast, hard and long. My poor girlfriend endured being mercilessly plowed for hours on end while I thought I was giving her the time of her life. We both would often be raw and sore and walking funny after each session.
Since that time I have been with roughly around 25 women. Many were one night stands in my youth. I was trying to make up for my insecurities of penis size with other stupid behavior. Throughout all of those experiences, not one woman said I was large. That further cemented in my mind the fact that I had an unremarkable penis. If they didn’t comment on it, it couldn’t be that great.
Years of this went on where I would secretly be so insecure about my girlfriend or wife’s past partners and their sizes that I became neurotic. I was convinced that all their exes had bigger dicks than me and therefore must still be lusting after their horse cocked exes.
I worked on finding out about how to give great oral and finger properly (whatever that means) so that I could be as good in bed as I could. I had to make up for my shortcoming. Thank god I did that because it was the best thing I could have done. I always cared deeply about my partner’s pleasure and it was very important to me to be able to get them off. The first time making my ex wife squirt was a triumph. I needed all the help I could get.
So now we come to the turning point of my story. Roughly around 3 years ago I was messaging with a female friend. I had been trying to deal with my insecurities about my wife’s exes (she is friends with all of them on social media as well as having photos and letters from all of them as well.) and this friend was helping me work through it. In hindsight I should have just spoken to my wife about it but being insecure made me fear what I might hear. Live and learn.
I made an offhand comment to my friend about having a small penis. She responded with “that’s not what I heard. I heard you have a huge dick”. I asked where she heard that and what she considered big and she said “anything 7 inches and up”. I laughed and said I hadn’t measured it in years so I didn’t know. I thought it was 6.5” from when I measured it in my youth. Anyway I measured it and told her the length, which had grown since the last time. She said “See. That’s huge!”.
I didn’t believe her so I looked up what average size is reported to be. From what I learned, 5.1-5.5” seemed to be average. Obviously you will see heated debates in thread after thread here disputing those numbers. Whatever. I’ll stick with the science and not the armchair dick size experts that put more effort into guessing how big a porn star’s cock is than the Warren Commission did in the Kennedy assassination.
So I posted some photos on a site to get it rated and they gave it a 9.8 out of 10. What? That can’t be right.
This all triggered an obsession with finding out if other people thought it was big. Everyday I would Google sites or post photos for a reaction, still doubting when someone would say something positive about it.
I had over 40 years of brainwashing to try and reverse. It looked like I actually was large. Who knew?
I started asking my friends what the biggest one they had experienced was, trying to get honest answers from people who had no romantic relationship to me and wouldn’t be trying to spare my feelings.
What I came to hear time and time again was that...many had experienced large ones (they usually didn’t know inches) and more times than not, the experience either wasn’t good at all or just not special. What I heard from virtually every single woman, except one that is a self professed “size queen”, was that they didn’t care about size...unless it was too small or too huge.
After asking forum members the same question, and looking through threads on the topic it became apparent that the vast majority of women felt the same way. They honestly had no attraction to big cocks. They didn’t think that sex with a big dick was better either. The ones that had dildos or vibrators had relatively average size ones. Only the “size queen” had anything 7” or bigger.
Most importantly, dicks played such a small role in their idea of an ideal man. A very, very small role.
The other thing that became apparent was that men don’t believe that answer.
Now, I can’t explain why that is. Maybe it’s all the brainwashing that happens over men’s lifetimes that tells us “bigger is better” and that the guy with the biggest cock is what every woman secretly desires. We are sold penis pills, pumps, traction stretchers, jelquing exercises, extension sleeves (obviously women are equally and more so targeted for ways to “improve” themselves) and often attacking each other’s dick size as a “go to” insult also leaves a lasting scar.
The result is that cock size becomes incredibly important to men. It often defines us...to us. However, men are the ones obsessed with size, not women. We are so obsessed, in fact, that when a woman tells us they don’t care about size, we don’t believe them. They must be lying. Our whole lives we have been told how important it is. Media and TV reinforces it with not so subtle jabs at small dicked “less than” men or the superior “Mr.Big”. It’s what makes an “alpha” male that attracts all the ladies, right? Wrong.
I talked about my cock so much with my female friends that their eyes would glaze over. It was embarrassing and a testament to how patient they are and also how many times they had been through this kind of nonsense. They would ask how my wife handled my size. I would tell them “Well, I jab her cervix and she jumps” or “sometimes it’s hard to get the head in there at first”. There was a point when my wife told her doctor that she felt a sharp pain during sex and was wondering if there was an issue. Her doctor tried to recreate the sensation and when her cervix was hit she said “that’s it!”. Another time when she had tried an IUD for birth control I kept getting jabbed with the string ends and it was very painful. She went and had the doctor trim the strings back. I still was being jabbed and she told the doctor. The doctors told her that I must be large if I was still hitting the strings. Even after being told this I didn’t believe I was big or more importantly that even if I was big, it wasn’t necessarily a great thing if I wasn’t careful with it.
It started to get through my thick skull eventually...”oh, they really don’t care.” I finally find out I have a big dick and then find out it doesn’t matter. Ha! The irony.
I am still friends with that woman that I had sex with the first time. We were both 18 then and stayed together for 9 years before splitting up after quite a bit of cheating on both of our parts. I recently asked her if I was the biggest she had ever had. Turns out I wasn’t. I had been, up until we split up. After we broke up she was with a male stripper that she said was about my length but thicker (from what she remembered of mine) and then there was a guy she swears was 10 inches (we know the likelihood of that is low but he was clearly huge). She said the sex with him was awful and incredibly painful. He couldn’t fit all the way in and he couldn’t get all the way hard. She couldn’t get more than the head of his cock in her mouth. She broke up with him and it was partially due to the sex.
What she told me was that she didn’t care about dick size and that she liked mine the best because she was so in love with me. Not because it was big.
I asked her what she thought of my penis. She said that it was “really big”. I told her that she never once in 9 years told me it was big. She couldn’t believe that. I said “Nope. I always thought I was small”. It wasn’t her fault. I had been brainwashed and I succumbed to my own insecurities and it had nothing to do with her. She never told me it was big because it didn’t matter to her.
Every woman I have talked with, in person or on forums has echoed the same thing. They don’t care about that. They care what kind of a man you are. All of the other things about us affect the sex. Foreplay happens way before the clothes come off. Is it possible that a woman might say “holy shit” when they see your dick? Absolutely. It’s what my ex said out loud when she saw the 10” guy. But the impression he left was one of disappointment and pain, not the porn fairy tale that is sold to us. So will a huge cock guarantee everlasting love and amazing sex? Absolutely not.
Does that mean big dicks are bad and that no woman will enjoy one? Of course not. It means that having one isn’t on the top of the list or even anywhere near the top of the list for most women.
Stop believing the lies and stop thinking that women are lying to you about it. The truth is...men are obsessed with big dicks, not women. The majority of members , by a long shot, on this site are men, not women. If women were so obsessed with huge horse cocks, this site should be primarily full of women. It isn’t and there is a reason for that. They.don’t.care.about.that. So just stop. Stop sabotaging yourself over something that isn’t important.
I still have strong bouts of insecurity about my wife’s exes but I quickly realize that she isn’t with them. She’s with me. She doesn’t care about big dicks. In fact, I’m a little large for her as it is. She has probably had bigger but it doesn’t matter. It takes a lot of work to reprogram that nonsense but I’m still working at it. This site has helped immensely but I also have to be careful to not get sucked into the “fuck, that guy is so much bigger than me” mindset that can come creeping back in.
Be a good man, the rest doesn’t matter. Believe me, but more importantly, believe them.
This topic is one of the most discussed ones (ad nauseam) on this site and many others. While I don’t pretend to have any puritanical evidence to end the conversation once and for all, I do have some opinions and experiences that I think are worth sharing with anyone interested enough to read this.
Like many men (and women), I was exposed to sex through dirty magazines in my youth. Aside from seeing the perfection of the airbrushed female form, I also saw the advertisements in the back of the magazines. Many of these ads were aimed at “helping” men be able to succeed sexually with women.
The focus of the ads usually centered around teaching these clueless men what to say to women to guarantee they would sleep with them (they really did paint a picture of vapid females just waiting for a pickup line to start their engines).
The other ads would invariably have a photo of Johnny Holmes or some other huge dick person, gorgeous girl draped on their arm staring down at their veiny member.
(I first saw the above photo in my step dad’s porn magazine. It was the first time seeing a huge dick and left a permanent impression on me. I just found it again recently and upon closer inspection it appears to be faked. This is from the mid 70s. So I was made to feel inferior by a fake monster cock).
The ads would tout some penis pill that would transform your sorry weinie into a throbbing horse cock that all the women would line up for.
Those ads alone left quite an impression on my young mind about how important penis size was and that women only wanted “huge”. The bigger the better. That was the measure of a man.
Later on, I would talk to my girl friends and they would often speak of their boyfriend’s 10 inch dicks (or even bigger). I hadn’t had sex yet and was getting the impression that these other guys all seemed to be bigger than me. I had measured mine and it was a far cry from the 10 inches and above that so many of the boys claimed, as well as their girlfriends. It hadn’t occurred to me that maybe these boys were lying or that the girlfriends were just repeating the number they were told.
Between these claims and looking at the huge dicks in porn magazines I became very insecure.
So much so that I wouldn’t change in the locker room or urinate in a urinal where someone might see my underwhelming dick and let everyone in the school know how I rated. At the same time, I was also intrigued at seeing huge dicks in porn and how amazing it must be to have women worship you and your massive dong.
It became a question that I would ask all my girl friends who I knew were having sex. I’d figure out a way to ask “so, does he have a big one?” and wait for the answer, which was almost always “he’s huge”.
I decided that since I didn’t have size on my side I would learn to do the other thing that I “knew” women wanted sexually. That was for the sex to be fast, hard and last forever.
I would masturbate and immediately get hard again. I would do this over and over until I didn’t lose my erection after ejaculating so I could go forever, seemingly.
Fast forward to my first time having sex. I predictably came after a few minutes BUT I didn’t lose my erection and was able to go for about an hour and a half total (not bragging). I had no idea what I was doing but I could go fast, hard and long. My poor girlfriend endured being mercilessly plowed for hours on end while I thought I was giving her the time of her life. We both would often be raw and sore and walking funny after each session.
Since that time I have been with roughly around 25 women. Many were one night stands in my youth. I was trying to make up for my insecurities of penis size with other stupid behavior. Throughout all of those experiences, not one woman said I was large. That further cemented in my mind the fact that I had an unremarkable penis. If they didn’t comment on it, it couldn’t be that great.
Years of this went on where I would secretly be so insecure about my girlfriend or wife’s past partners and their sizes that I became neurotic. I was convinced that all their exes had bigger dicks than me and therefore must still be lusting after their horse cocked exes.
I worked on finding out about how to give great oral and finger properly (whatever that means) so that I could be as good in bed as I could. I had to make up for my shortcoming. Thank god I did that because it was the best thing I could have done. I always cared deeply about my partner’s pleasure and it was very important to me to be able to get them off. The first time making my ex wife squirt was a triumph. I needed all the help I could get.
So now we come to the turning point of my story. Roughly around 3 years ago I was messaging with a female friend. I had been trying to deal with my insecurities about my wife’s exes (she is friends with all of them on social media as well as having photos and letters from all of them as well.) and this friend was helping me work through it. In hindsight I should have just spoken to my wife about it but being insecure made me fear what I might hear. Live and learn.
I made an offhand comment to my friend about having a small penis. She responded with “that’s not what I heard. I heard you have a huge dick”. I asked where she heard that and what she considered big and she said “anything 7 inches and up”. I laughed and said I hadn’t measured it in years so I didn’t know. I thought it was 6.5” from when I measured it in my youth. Anyway I measured it and told her the length, which had grown since the last time. She said “See. That’s huge!”.
I didn’t believe her so I looked up what average size is reported to be. From what I learned, 5.1-5.5” seemed to be average. Obviously you will see heated debates in thread after thread here disputing those numbers. Whatever. I’ll stick with the science and not the armchair dick size experts that put more effort into guessing how big a porn star’s cock is than the Warren Commission did in the Kennedy assassination.
So I posted some photos on a site to get it rated and they gave it a 9.8 out of 10. What? That can’t be right.
This all triggered an obsession with finding out if other people thought it was big. Everyday I would Google sites or post photos for a reaction, still doubting when someone would say something positive about it.
I had over 40 years of brainwashing to try and reverse. It looked like I actually was large. Who knew?
I started asking my friends what the biggest one they had experienced was, trying to get honest answers from people who had no romantic relationship to me and wouldn’t be trying to spare my feelings.
What I came to hear time and time again was that...many had experienced large ones (they usually didn’t know inches) and more times than not, the experience either wasn’t good at all or just not special. What I heard from virtually every single woman, except one that is a self professed “size queen”, was that they didn’t care about size...unless it was too small or too huge.
After asking forum members the same question, and looking through threads on the topic it became apparent that the vast majority of women felt the same way. They honestly had no attraction to big cocks. They didn’t think that sex with a big dick was better either. The ones that had dildos or vibrators had relatively average size ones. Only the “size queen” had anything 7” or bigger.
Most importantly, dicks played such a small role in their idea of an ideal man. A very, very small role.
The other thing that became apparent was that men don’t believe that answer.
Now, I can’t explain why that is. Maybe it’s all the brainwashing that happens over men’s lifetimes that tells us “bigger is better” and that the guy with the biggest cock is what every woman secretly desires. We are sold penis pills, pumps, traction stretchers, jelquing exercises, extension sleeves (obviously women are equally and more so targeted for ways to “improve” themselves) and often attacking each other’s dick size as a “go to” insult also leaves a lasting scar.
The result is that cock size becomes incredibly important to men. It often defines us...to us. However, men are the ones obsessed with size, not women. We are so obsessed, in fact, that when a woman tells us they don’t care about size, we don’t believe them. They must be lying. Our whole lives we have been told how important it is. Media and TV reinforces it with not so subtle jabs at small dicked “less than” men or the superior “Mr.Big”. It’s what makes an “alpha” male that attracts all the ladies, right? Wrong.
I talked about my cock so much with my female friends that their eyes would glaze over. It was embarrassing and a testament to how patient they are and also how many times they had been through this kind of nonsense. They would ask how my wife handled my size. I would tell them “Well, I jab her cervix and she jumps” or “sometimes it’s hard to get the head in there at first”. There was a point when my wife told her doctor that she felt a sharp pain during sex and was wondering if there was an issue. Her doctor tried to recreate the sensation and when her cervix was hit she said “that’s it!”. Another time when she had tried an IUD for birth control I kept getting jabbed with the string ends and it was very painful. She went and had the doctor trim the strings back. I still was being jabbed and she told the doctor. The doctors told her that I must be large if I was still hitting the strings. Even after being told this I didn’t believe I was big or more importantly that even if I was big, it wasn’t necessarily a great thing if I wasn’t careful with it.
It started to get through my thick skull eventually...”oh, they really don’t care.” I finally find out I have a big dick and then find out it doesn’t matter. Ha! The irony.
I am still friends with that woman that I had sex with the first time. We were both 18 then and stayed together for 9 years before splitting up after quite a bit of cheating on both of our parts. I recently asked her if I was the biggest she had ever had. Turns out I wasn’t. I had been, up until we split up. After we broke up she was with a male stripper that she said was about my length but thicker (from what she remembered of mine) and then there was a guy she swears was 10 inches (we know the likelihood of that is low but he was clearly huge). She said the sex with him was awful and incredibly painful. He couldn’t fit all the way in and he couldn’t get all the way hard. She couldn’t get more than the head of his cock in her mouth. She broke up with him and it was partially due to the sex.
What she told me was that she didn’t care about dick size and that she liked mine the best because she was so in love with me. Not because it was big.
I asked her what she thought of my penis. She said that it was “really big”. I told her that she never once in 9 years told me it was big. She couldn’t believe that. I said “Nope. I always thought I was small”. It wasn’t her fault. I had been brainwashed and I succumbed to my own insecurities and it had nothing to do with her. She never told me it was big because it didn’t matter to her.
Every woman I have talked with, in person or on forums has echoed the same thing. They don’t care about that. They care what kind of a man you are. All of the other things about us affect the sex. Foreplay happens way before the clothes come off. Is it possible that a woman might say “holy shit” when they see your dick? Absolutely. It’s what my ex said out loud when she saw the 10” guy. But the impression he left was one of disappointment and pain, not the porn fairy tale that is sold to us. So will a huge cock guarantee everlasting love and amazing sex? Absolutely not.
Does that mean big dicks are bad and that no woman will enjoy one? Of course not. It means that having one isn’t on the top of the list or even anywhere near the top of the list for most women.
Stop believing the lies and stop thinking that women are lying to you about it. The truth is...men are obsessed with big dicks, not women. The majority of members , by a long shot, on this site are men, not women. If women were so obsessed with huge horse cocks, this site should be primarily full of women. It isn’t and there is a reason for that. They.don’t.care.about.that. So just stop. Stop sabotaging yourself over something that isn’t important.
I still have strong bouts of insecurity about my wife’s exes but I quickly realize that she isn’t with them. She’s with me. She doesn’t care about big dicks. In fact, I’m a little large for her as it is. She has probably had bigger but it doesn’t matter. It takes a lot of work to reprogram that nonsense but I’m still working at it. This site has helped immensely but I also have to be careful to not get sucked into the “fuck, that guy is so much bigger than me” mindset that can come creeping back in.
Be a good man, the rest doesn’t matter. Believe me, but more importantly, believe them.