In my first "Bits and pieces"-post I discussed fighting against our own nature to become "better". I also mentioned that being "nice" isn't an achievement in itself.
Let's look a little closer at that.
Really, what I want to take a look at is how these two statements are connected.
See, being nice isn't an achievement. It's nothing that'll get you a medal. Standing in the vicinity of a person you are interested in and "being nice" won't automatically get them to be drawn to you like iron filings to a magnet.
I think that for many people "nice" really describes a lot of things you are not doing. I'm "nice" because I don't curse at strangers, feel up women, litter, use violence, treat people badly, etc.
Am I to be awarded for not doing something? That sounds like a protection racket.
"That there is a pretty car. It would be a shame if something happened to it!"
"Oh, you haven't wrecked my car, you're so nice!"
I want sex, but I'm not getting any. Should I be rewarded for not just kidnapping somebody and having my way? (To make an unnecessary clarification: I would never do such a thing.)
NO!
People expect you to not be a gaping, monstrous asshole!
Yet many seem to think that not doing some things will result in them being rewarded.
Since the word "nice" has been polluted in such a way, I prefer "good". To me, being a "good" person is about actually doing good. Actively helping, for instance actually donating money, not "sending prayers" or "keeping them in our thoughts". Actually giving a shit about the people around you. Thinking about your actions and how they may affect others negatively, and thus doing your very best to avoid hurting people.
Being good does not mean lying there and taking abuse, nor to stand idly by while others take abuse. It's about doing. It's about action.
So then, what about fighting our own nature?
Well, that actually muddies the waters about the whole "nice"-thing. Because I believe that being an asshole comes naturally to a lot of people. It often seems to be the path of least resistance. It is so much easier to destroy than to build.
Thus, it can actually be an effort to be "nice", and following that, an even greater effort to be "good". It can be struggle to avoid the easy path of thinking only of yourself and ignoring the suffering of others.
However, I still believe that you should not be rewarded for not doing things. Yes, it may be a struggle for some, myself included, to not take the easy, nasty way out, but that doesn't mean you should be lauded for not acting on such negative impulses.
To sum it all up: there are already plenty of bad guys in the world. Don't be one of them. Be one of the good guys.
Let's look a little closer at that.
Really, what I want to take a look at is how these two statements are connected.
See, being nice isn't an achievement. It's nothing that'll get you a medal. Standing in the vicinity of a person you are interested in and "being nice" won't automatically get them to be drawn to you like iron filings to a magnet.
I think that for many people "nice" really describes a lot of things you are not doing. I'm "nice" because I don't curse at strangers, feel up women, litter, use violence, treat people badly, etc.
Am I to be awarded for not doing something? That sounds like a protection racket.
"That there is a pretty car. It would be a shame if something happened to it!"
"Oh, you haven't wrecked my car, you're so nice!"
I want sex, but I'm not getting any. Should I be rewarded for not just kidnapping somebody and having my way? (To make an unnecessary clarification: I would never do such a thing.)
NO!
People expect you to not be a gaping, monstrous asshole!
Yet many seem to think that not doing some things will result in them being rewarded.
Since the word "nice" has been polluted in such a way, I prefer "good". To me, being a "good" person is about actually doing good. Actively helping, for instance actually donating money, not "sending prayers" or "keeping them in our thoughts". Actually giving a shit about the people around you. Thinking about your actions and how they may affect others negatively, and thus doing your very best to avoid hurting people.
Being good does not mean lying there and taking abuse, nor to stand idly by while others take abuse. It's about doing. It's about action.
So then, what about fighting our own nature?
Well, that actually muddies the waters about the whole "nice"-thing. Because I believe that being an asshole comes naturally to a lot of people. It often seems to be the path of least resistance. It is so much easier to destroy than to build.
Thus, it can actually be an effort to be "nice", and following that, an even greater effort to be "good". It can be struggle to avoid the easy path of thinking only of yourself and ignoring the suffering of others.
However, I still believe that you should not be rewarded for not doing things. Yes, it may be a struggle for some, myself included, to not take the easy, nasty way out, but that doesn't mean you should be lauded for not acting on such negative impulses.
To sum it all up: there are already plenty of bad guys in the world. Don't be one of them. Be one of the good guys.