Pretty much all of my previous blog posts have been a part of a larger arc. For the time being, I feel that I have exhausted that particular arc.
The bucket is empty.
Yet there are some thoughts rattling around in my head, and I'd like to try to catch them.
This may be a bit scattershot, or it may not. Let's shake this ol' box of neurons and see what falls out.
Whining and complaining. Unattractive activities both of them. Rather than whine about something, isn't it better to look at the subject at hand and try to figure it out?
Instead of just sitting there going "Waaah waaah, I'm too short to reach the cookies!" wouldn't it be better to get a stepladdar and fix the "problem"?
But it's such a tempting thing, to complain and whine. It takes so little effort and it helps, a little bit, to ease the sting of failure. Or to ease fear of failure.
This meshes nicely with rationalizing your behaviour. Rather than try to fix the issue, you just say "Get the cookies? Psh, I'm too short for that!". There are probably better examples, but I'm in the thick of trying to capture fleeting ideas here!
Everything can be rationalized, from the mundane "I like to take this route to work, not because it passes the gym with the big window, but because there are no traffic lights" to the disgusting "It's only natural to prefer much younger girls, we're hardwired to go after the most fertile female".
It's a natural response. At least it is for many.
It strikes me that I time and time again come to the same conclusions: to become better people we must strive to act free from our gut feelings and first instincts, for they often seem to lead us astray.
Hard work ahead? Procrastinate, because nobody likes hard work. Right?
Fear of failure? Rationalize avoiding situations where you might fail.
Can't accomplish what you want to accomplish? Complain about it.
Yet to get results in life, to get ahead and to achieve our goals, whatever they are, we must fight against these urges.
Hard work? Roll up your sleeves and get to it.
Fear of failure? Fucking do it anyway. What's the worst that could happen?
Can't accomplish what you want? Find another method, try again, work harder. Maybe even reevaluate your goals and shoot for something else.
But then, perhaps I am making unfair generalisations. There are probably people out there to whom these vices never occur. People who instantly jump into action and get shit done. However, I am not one of them. I have worked hard to achieve the willpower I have, and even though I occasionally feel proud about it, I know that it can always be improved and that there are many men better than I.
Yet it is too easy to compare downwards. "I am better than that guy" will not lead you to improve. You can only improve by comparing upwards "He is better than I. To beat him I must improve".
So what does "better" mean?
It seems a lot of people say "I am a nice person". Well, with that and dollar you can buy a cup of coffee.
It's easy to be a "nice" person. Just don't be a fucking dick. Just follow that old chestnut "treat others as you would have them treat you". A good concept, regardless of its source.
Nobody is going to give you a medal for being a "nice" person. It's like saying "I take good care of my children". It's what people fucking expect!
The important thing is what you can do aside from being a nice person. Because sure, you may be a great guy, but what can you do?
And here we enter into a whole new world. There are unlimited metrics to measure this, and I am not even going to go into that.
All I want to do is point out that being "nice" is not an achievement.
And I'm doing that as much for own sake as for that of any reader.
I feel that I have breached a rich vein here. There is more, but I am having a hard time formulating it. So let's call it a night.
Here are some bits and pieces. Maybe they'll resonate with somebody, maybe they won't. Either way, here they are.
The bucket is empty.
Yet there are some thoughts rattling around in my head, and I'd like to try to catch them.
This may be a bit scattershot, or it may not. Let's shake this ol' box of neurons and see what falls out.
Whining and complaining. Unattractive activities both of them. Rather than whine about something, isn't it better to look at the subject at hand and try to figure it out?
Instead of just sitting there going "Waaah waaah, I'm too short to reach the cookies!" wouldn't it be better to get a stepladdar and fix the "problem"?
But it's such a tempting thing, to complain and whine. It takes so little effort and it helps, a little bit, to ease the sting of failure. Or to ease fear of failure.
This meshes nicely with rationalizing your behaviour. Rather than try to fix the issue, you just say "Get the cookies? Psh, I'm too short for that!". There are probably better examples, but I'm in the thick of trying to capture fleeting ideas here!
Everything can be rationalized, from the mundane "I like to take this route to work, not because it passes the gym with the big window, but because there are no traffic lights" to the disgusting "It's only natural to prefer much younger girls, we're hardwired to go after the most fertile female".
It's a natural response. At least it is for many.
It strikes me that I time and time again come to the same conclusions: to become better people we must strive to act free from our gut feelings and first instincts, for they often seem to lead us astray.
Hard work ahead? Procrastinate, because nobody likes hard work. Right?
Fear of failure? Rationalize avoiding situations where you might fail.
Can't accomplish what you want to accomplish? Complain about it.
Yet to get results in life, to get ahead and to achieve our goals, whatever they are, we must fight against these urges.
Hard work? Roll up your sleeves and get to it.
Fear of failure? Fucking do it anyway. What's the worst that could happen?
Can't accomplish what you want? Find another method, try again, work harder. Maybe even reevaluate your goals and shoot for something else.
But then, perhaps I am making unfair generalisations. There are probably people out there to whom these vices never occur. People who instantly jump into action and get shit done. However, I am not one of them. I have worked hard to achieve the willpower I have, and even though I occasionally feel proud about it, I know that it can always be improved and that there are many men better than I.
Yet it is too easy to compare downwards. "I am better than that guy" will not lead you to improve. You can only improve by comparing upwards "He is better than I. To beat him I must improve".
So what does "better" mean?
It seems a lot of people say "I am a nice person". Well, with that and dollar you can buy a cup of coffee.
It's easy to be a "nice" person. Just don't be a fucking dick. Just follow that old chestnut "treat others as you would have them treat you". A good concept, regardless of its source.
Nobody is going to give you a medal for being a "nice" person. It's like saying "I take good care of my children". It's what people fucking expect!
The important thing is what you can do aside from being a nice person. Because sure, you may be a great guy, but what can you do?
And here we enter into a whole new world. There are unlimited metrics to measure this, and I am not even going to go into that.
All I want to do is point out that being "nice" is not an achievement.
And I'm doing that as much for own sake as for that of any reader.
I feel that I have breached a rich vein here. There is more, but I am having a hard time formulating it. So let's call it a night.
Here are some bits and pieces. Maybe they'll resonate with somebody, maybe they won't. Either way, here they are.