I wander through pages electric, though pages of paper an inks. Searching for dreams to drown in searching for landmarks that speak to my experiences and the person I sometimes feel, is trapped in the wrong life.
The dreamsing s of thoughts of the mind, the symphonies of word and sound and color. Sometimes they become a storm, a scream, a nightmare.
Friends fade, or become enemies. Love dwindles into unneasy companionship or sweals into obsession and the screaming need to possess someone, to make them look at you again.
Time passes, dreams wither on the vine of too many "I'm not good enough yet"s and I'll pursue that later, when I can afford the classes/training. When really you've lived so long with poverty and the petty joys that one can afford by working a fairly decent but soul-sucking day job that has little to do with your passions and sharing rent or bills with more that just yourself. Of trying to find the kind of love that compels you to be more YOU than you've ever allowed yourself to be, but settling for brief moments that make you feel powerful and beautiful and desired....That you are terrified of the change success would bring. Of the work and stress you'ld really have to live with. Of the fall from flying rather then crawling in the dust.
heh, not one of my more cohesive attempts. but it's what I think about sometimes.
The dreamsing s of thoughts of the mind, the symphonies of word and sound and color. Sometimes they become a storm, a scream, a nightmare.
Friends fade, or become enemies. Love dwindles into unneasy companionship or sweals into obsession and the screaming need to possess someone, to make them look at you again.
Time passes, dreams wither on the vine of too many "I'm not good enough yet"s and I'll pursue that later, when I can afford the classes/training. When really you've lived so long with poverty and the petty joys that one can afford by working a fairly decent but soul-sucking day job that has little to do with your passions and sharing rent or bills with more that just yourself. Of trying to find the kind of love that compels you to be more YOU than you've ever allowed yourself to be, but settling for brief moments that make you feel powerful and beautiful and desired....That you are terrified of the change success would bring. Of the work and stress you'ld really have to live with. Of the fall from flying rather then crawling in the dust.
heh, not one of my more cohesive attempts. but it's what I think about sometimes.