I just spent the greater part of the last 4 hours staring at the walls, the sofa across the living room, the basket of laundry, the chandelier in the dining area, the t.v. that is not turned on......in total silence, just thinking. Too much is going on and yet I feel as though I'm doing nothing about any of it. For me, that is way out of the norm. I'm the one who usually sprints into action but here I sit staring at the wall, sofa, basket, chandelier, blank t.v. Yep, blank woman. I'm numb to my own feelings right now; surprised, hurt, pissed. Yep, I'm choosing to be blank and numb. Because truly I'm an idiot that is fully aware of the fact that somewhere along the way, a little part of me fell...yes fell in...eyes wide shut.