pates2761

Things You Can't Say with Hallmark "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?" "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me." "If I get only one thing for...

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale Ph.D. candidate and a redneck from Alabama. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu." First to recite his...

OK I know this to be true because I took part in another incident in my hometown. I had a high school friend on the Fort Worth Po-po and believe it or not it went down with him. You should have seen his face when he thought he'd caught me. He so wanted to lock me up for the night. But his...

a few funny quotes that a friend just sent me. Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the...

Please dont no one take offense. None was intended.... Saint Peter's feeling tired one day, so Christ comes along and offers to take over for a bit, give Him a wee break. "Fine," says Peter, and away He goes leaving Him to it. So, Christ's sitting there and after a while this old boy comes...

Things I learned living in Texas ....... 1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before...

Please check out my freshly uploaded pics http://www.lpsg.com/members/pates276...tion+pictures/ but, uh, please excuse the scars. One is pretty prominent, others are more difficult to spot as they are in my sac and in other places/folds where they are difficult to see unless I show them...