Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am an evil genius!

If complaining about not getting fucked often enough or hard enough succeeds in getting me as well laid as it did last night, expect a lot of posts complaining about me not getting enough sex for the rest of my pregnancy. :tongue:

We've only got a few months left alone in this house before we have a newborn to take care of, depriving us both of sleep while I'm recovering from childbirth for 6 weeks. I consider these remaining months to be valuable time! It's the last time we're really going to be alone for the next few decades. We need to indulge in as much sexual hedonism as possible dammit!

Almost totally unrelated to that last subject, tonight I made the depressing discovery that I can no longer see around my own stomach to groom my own kitty. Yup, I have to use a mirror. I can't see past my belly button. :frown1:

If my pregnancy progresses as it's supposed to, I'm supposed to get larger at a much faster pace now. I'm paranoid about stretch marks because my skin feels stretched as far as it can stretch already! I'm slathering my tummy with extremely expensive stretch cream all the time, even though there's no evidence that it helps. Fear has turned me into a sucker. :redface:

I'm glad I uploaded those belly photos. I was shocked when I saw the photos that I didn't look bigger because I feel like a whale! I feel about twice as large as I look.

Oh, I forgot to add: Boo-hoo! I'm not getting laid enough! TheBoyfriend needs to fuck me harder! He's neglecting me!!! :biggrin1:

(I added this much later on tonight) It turns out that I'm dangerously incompetent at grooming my kitty using a mirror. After taking off quite a bit of skin in and around the crease of my right leg, I decided to stop before I really injured myself. Good thing I did! That area now feels like I've scrubbed it hard with a brillo pad and it hurts a lot. SO MUCH!!! OWIE!!! :frown1: :frown1: :frown1:

It's really hard to feel like an evil genius when your crotch hurts this much. Now I just feel like a moron. I think I'm going to need to see a professional to landscape my kitty from now until 2011.

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Now that you can't see your southern hemisphere I think I'm going graffiti something on your lower abdomen... Not sure what yet, maybe a big smiley face or a recreation of a babyonboard sticker.
 

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