I shared this in a post exchange on a thread with several others...so rather than repeating myself...I have cut and pasted to here to make it easier to find.
this was a rare occurrence for me for several reasons. I rarely...almost never....use a public restroom. And when I do it is only because I have to urinate/defecate and I can no longer "wait" to get home or elsewhere. Long experience has taught me that when I am out and about I find it necessary that I to plan my life around that...where are the bathrooms?
And this bathroom in that tiny run down gas station was an "emergency" situation....(I posted about that experience on another blog post).
And when I have to go to a public facility....if possible...I try to use the handicapped stall.
No, I am not "handicapped"....but I must use a stall....so the handicapped stall provides me with a bit more room....I can not simply "unzip" and haul my out and urinate.
I have to first hang up my overcoat/raincoat on the stall hooks. I always carry a raincoat or overcoat, year round, and fold it over and then hang it over my left forearm...which when I walk or stand in public I keep my left arm bent and with my raincoat/overcoat draped in front of me...another very effective part of "camouflage" to prevent the casual observer from seeing the outline/shadow in my trousers.
Then take off my suit coat and hang it up on the stall's door hook over my outwear coat...
Then I unbuckle my belt, unzip, and then take off my pants and hang them up on the stalls door hook over my suit coat.
Then I must unwrap myself....roll all the wrapping up so it doesn't fall to the floor and become soiled...put it with my trousers....then turn, step back from the bowl...and do my business.
Then I use toilet paper to clean away any wetness and residue...to include the sweat/perspiration along my thighs, testicles and penis...then rewrap myself so has to keep everything "secure"...then put my trousers back on...tuck in my shirt and zip up and buckle up...put on my suit coat...then take my outerwear coat and fold it again over my left forearm...then I can leave the stall. This all takes a bit of time...but I have been doing it all my life...so I can do it on "auto pilot"...lol.
But that is why it is impossible for me to use a urinal in a quick and "easy way"...like urinals were intended to be used by most men.
The very few times I have used a urinal...were planned that I would so has to give a "show" to someone.
And what I did first was go to the stall....and again do all that I normally do to hang up my suit coat, (I have only done this at a restaurant and I left my outerwear coat on the seat at my booth)...and instead of removing my pants....I just drop my pants and unwrap myself...harder to do with trying to keep your pants around your ankles and off the floor...lol....then I put myself down my trousers legs...penis to the left, testicles to the right....leave my pants zip open....and "waddle" out of the stall to the urinal...and drop my pants again to my ankles...and stand back from the urinal and "wait"...for my "audience" to appear and see and be surprised and shocked...and that initiates a conversation....the "introduction and icebreaker" is their seeing me hanging out and down and holding myself up in front of a urinal.....
I have done this just a very few times at a restaurant....as a way to "meet someone"...with the hope of getting an introduction later to a woman I had seen...which is another story...LOL.
this was a rare occurrence for me for several reasons. I rarely...almost never....use a public restroom. And when I do it is only because I have to urinate/defecate and I can no longer "wait" to get home or elsewhere. Long experience has taught me that when I am out and about I find it necessary that I to plan my life around that...where are the bathrooms?
And this bathroom in that tiny run down gas station was an "emergency" situation....(I posted about that experience on another blog post).
And when I have to go to a public facility....if possible...I try to use the handicapped stall.
No, I am not "handicapped"....but I must use a stall....so the handicapped stall provides me with a bit more room....I can not simply "unzip" and haul my out and urinate.
I have to first hang up my overcoat/raincoat on the stall hooks. I always carry a raincoat or overcoat, year round, and fold it over and then hang it over my left forearm...which when I walk or stand in public I keep my left arm bent and with my raincoat/overcoat draped in front of me...another very effective part of "camouflage" to prevent the casual observer from seeing the outline/shadow in my trousers.
Then take off my suit coat and hang it up on the stall's door hook over my outwear coat...
Then I unbuckle my belt, unzip, and then take off my pants and hang them up on the stalls door hook over my suit coat.
Then I must unwrap myself....roll all the wrapping up so it doesn't fall to the floor and become soiled...put it with my trousers....then turn, step back from the bowl...and do my business.
Then I use toilet paper to clean away any wetness and residue...to include the sweat/perspiration along my thighs, testicles and penis...then rewrap myself so has to keep everything "secure"...then put my trousers back on...tuck in my shirt and zip up and buckle up...put on my suit coat...then take my outerwear coat and fold it again over my left forearm...then I can leave the stall. This all takes a bit of time...but I have been doing it all my life...so I can do it on "auto pilot"...lol.
But that is why it is impossible for me to use a urinal in a quick and "easy way"...like urinals were intended to be used by most men.
The very few times I have used a urinal...were planned that I would so has to give a "show" to someone.
And what I did first was go to the stall....and again do all that I normally do to hang up my suit coat, (I have only done this at a restaurant and I left my outerwear coat on the seat at my booth)...and instead of removing my pants....I just drop my pants and unwrap myself...harder to do with trying to keep your pants around your ankles and off the floor...lol....then I put myself down my trousers legs...penis to the left, testicles to the right....leave my pants zip open....and "waddle" out of the stall to the urinal...and drop my pants again to my ankles...and stand back from the urinal and "wait"...for my "audience" to appear and see and be surprised and shocked...and that initiates a conversation....the "introduction and icebreaker" is their seeing me hanging out and down and holding myself up in front of a urinal.....
I have done this just a very few times at a restaurant....as a way to "meet someone"...with the hope of getting an introduction later to a woman I had seen...which is another story...LOL.
