Consummation and Afterglow

Think how many times in your life you've had sex with someone. Now think how many times you've made love with someone. And now, finally, reflect on what you actually remember - what you remember vividly and with clarity - from the times you made love with someone, giving generously and joyously of yourself, and you may find you can count such moments on the fingers of just one hand.

I know what happened this morning with Steve will be forever etched into my consciousness. We did not simply have sex. We are not in love either. But we each embraced the other's body lovingly and caringly and the atmosphere was one of trust, acceptance and tenderness, not one of need, convenience or lust.

Once my cock was inside Steve to its fullest extent, I paused and marvelled at the warmth and tightness that enveloped me. I was reluctant to draw back, reluctant to begin the backward and forward motions of fucking because I wanted to savour the moment as long as possible. I knew that if I moved too swiftly I would be lost. I knew that we were, each of us, more intent on the journey than on reaching the destination.

When at last I moved, it was with slow, almost languorous thrusts. Our eyes met constantly. Steve's face was serene and he smiled each time I leaned forward and downwards to kiss his lips. It seemed a blissful eternity before we began to move faster and more urgently. Looking down, I watched my cock's rhythmic glide. Appear. Disappear. Re-appear. I also saw Steve's balls tighten and move higher in his groin. His right hand was clenched around his dick and, from the way that hand moved and then stopped, I could tell he was edging closer to the finish line.

With Steve's unspoken encouragement, I began to thrust faster and harder and deeper. We had melded very quietly thus far, but now he began to make small gasping sounds of pleasure each time I thrust fully. I started to breathe heavily and I could see that Steve's hand was motionless around his throbbing cock. It was time. I withdrew so that only the very tip of my dick was still inside him. I felt the surge, the rush, the momentum in my loins and - with one deep, almost brutal plunge - I buried myself in Steve's arse and shot what seemed like an unending load of cum. Almost simultaneously, the cum jetted out of Steve's cock, splattering his chest and face and the pillow too.

Still breathing heavily, almost sobbing, I collapsed into the sticky pool of cum on Steve's chest. He wrapped his legs around my waist. When I kissed him, I tasted the juice on his lips and so did he. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, we both began to laugh. It was a laughter laced with relief, joy, surprise and sheer boyish high spirits. I hardly knew this man and yet, here I was, elated - and still somewhat inflated - sprawled all over him, still deep inside him and laughing. It was as if time, space and reality had been suspended. Almost in disbelief, I realised that I was unashamed.

We lay contentedly for several minutes, kissing and smiling into each other's eyes. Steve winced slightly as I withdrew but assured me he was fine. It's still winter in this part of the world and so I've not yet fired up the hot water supply to the pool-house area. As a consequence, we had a very quick and very cold shower. Shivering, we dressed hastily and headed for the comparative warmth of the kitchen.

Having recently feasted on each other, I saw no need to serve up an elaborate lunch, so I took some of my famous potato and leek soup out of the freezer, zapped it in the microwave and served it with some crusty bread rolls. Perched on stools at the breakfast counter, we ate in companionable silence.

"This is good" Steve said. "Home made?"

"Yes" I replied. "I've discovered lots of unexpected talents over the last few years. I even know how to use a sewing machine!"

When we'd finished lunch, we adjourned to the holy-of-holies - my beloved study - the room where I also do my counselling work. On the original house plans, this room was designated as the "library" but other family members considered this a bit pretentious. So we call it the study or Dad's office. Since three walls are lined with books from floor to ceiling, I still call it the library under my breath. I love the bay-window and the inset window seat. From my desk and from my favourite armchair, I have a view of the tree-lined driveway on one side and of the formal garden and tennis court on the other.

Steve prowled around the room and seemed particularly interested in my CD and LP collection. We had a brief debate over whether my musical tastes are best described as "eclectic" or "catholic". He then surprised me by saying: "So you're a rich guy, hey?"

I was not offended.I like people to be direct and - having one myself - I like people who have what I call a "grasshopper mind". It's a trait I share with all my children. It's a trait critical to one's quest for knowledge and understanding. Without it, I would never have become one of the world's most formidable Trivial Pursuit players!

I was raised to believe that polite conversation with acquaintances should never touch upon religion, politics or money. However, given that we'd just fucked, I figured we were - though still almost strangers - a little more than mere acquaintances.

"No" I said. "We're not rich. We're what you might call comfortable, I guess. My father left me enough money to buy my first house. I had a good ride in the corporate world and received a good golden handshake when I left to look after my family. And then, of course, there was the insurance pay-out when my wife died. So I suppose I don't absolutely have to work, but I enjoy what I do. Some people I see pro bono or for peanuts but I charge like a wounded bull when someone has the capacity to pay!"

"Fair enough" said Steve.

"Anything else you'd like to know?" I asked.

"No. Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

"You weren't rude" I replied. "What I mean is, well, I tend to be a listening sort of guy and I also tend to ask lots of questions. This is the first time you've ever asked me a personal question. Call it vanity, but I'm wondering if there's anything else about me you'd like to know. Or we could just go back to bed ."

He smiled and said: "You're not as devious as I am. I already know just about everything I need to know about you."

"What do you mean? How?" I asked. I was puzzled.

"You know I've been to hell and back quite a few times" he said, "and I guess I've seen almost every mental health expert, been in every rehab ward in the State."

"And ...?" I said.

"I'd heard your name countless times before I ever met you. I didn't know who you were when I first saw you at the gym, but once I found out your name I was able to put a face to all the stuff I've heard."

"Jesus" I said, worried now. "What had you heard?"

"That you're a good psychologist. That you really care about people in all walks of life. That you're kind."

"Lies! All lies, I assure you" I said, laughing.

"And" Steve continued on, "I know that you're a good father. And ... I also know that you're ... lonely."

This last bit surprised me a bit. I had never once admitted this to myself. I was not aware that other people discerned it in me. Suddenly, however, I realised it was true.

"Did someone tell you I'm gay?" I asked.

"No" he said. "I liked you the first time I saw you and I asked the girl in reception what your name was after you winked at me in the showers."

"Well" I said. "So much for thinking I'm a closed book. You really are devious."

So the respectable counsellor and the insightful artist went back to the pool-house and repeated all the delectable things they'd done earlier and a few new things as well!

So, here we are. Almost 1am on Sunday morning. I'm going to listen one more time to my favourite love and friendship aria and then I'm going to bed where I have no doubt I'll glow in the dark. Not only am I a legend in the world of the mentally ill, but I also got laid today!! Fuck the guilt. I'm happy.

Comments

"unashamed." "lonely" Two important words to take from a wonderful encounter. I don't think the second will endure long.
 
I'll say it again -- WOW! What a remarkable and touching story, with unlimited potential! I am thrilled for you, and for Steve too. Good on you both!!
 
Happiness is something you want to share with the whole world, but especially with friends like you guys.
 
It is a completely wonderful feeling being Happy! And I am so glad you shared you new found happiness with all of us. I love how you wrote your experience, I felt like I was there and it was really beautiful. I bet you did glow!
 

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