It's Tuesday evening and I'm feeling incredibly mellow and at peace with the world.
The big Birthday went well yesterday. Miss Eleven received two new DS games and some books from me and, as a "goodwill gesture", I also wrapped up and gave her a hideous brown wig I found in a thrift shop. It's acrylic and might best be described as "a bob". She wore it while her best friends were over for a Birthday Tea yesterday. Their unanimous view was that she looked awful! I think that puts hair-colouring to bed for another year or so!
I continue to be diligent with the fitness regime. Yesterday I just went for a run and did a few floor exercises when I got home, but this morning I hit the gym again and surpassed my previous record for laps in the pool. I'm still avoiding the temptation to step on the scales but I'm convinced my waistline has reduced by almost half a belt-notch, especially when I breathe in deeply!
All my appointments today went well. There are days when I feel absolutely seared by the heat of a person's anger, or deeply affected by someone's despair, or, perhaps, indignant at what some people are forced to endure. Sometimes it's difficult to mask one's feelings, sometimes it kills me to model the unshockable, unjudgemental and accepting person they need me to be. But everyone I saw today is making good progress and no great demands were placed upon my professionalism.
Another really good thing about today was that I actually managed to speak with each of my children one-on-one. Essentially, the older three rang to wish their little sister a Happy Birthday, but it was great to hear their voices.
Ms 28 - now the beleaguered mother of four children under six - found time to have a little moan about what hell parenthood is! I made all the appropriate noises and comments and felt grateful that - because she and her munchkins live some hundred miles north of me - I am not expected to lend a hand.
I find it amusing that she now consults me as an "expert" in child-rearing. Once upon a time, when she was sixteen, I can recall her telling me I was "the meanest Dad on Earth". I think it was because I refused her permission to get an eyebrow piercing!
Mr 26, having recently moved to the other side of Australia - near Sydney - gave me a report on his new job as an associate in a legal firm. He completed his Law Degree last year and has moved to New South Wales to live with a girl he met at a concert in Queensland. I know he'll settle down eventually. Right now, I suspect, his dick rules much of his thinking!
Ms 24, who now lives in Australia's far north-west, is undoubtedly the most placid of my children. She, too, seems to regard me as some sort of parenting guru, but her son - who had his first Birthday in June -is just as placid as his mother so I'm rarely called upon to proffer advice.
I can't help wondering if Jennifer would be pleased at how they've turned out. I know I'm pleased, but I cannot claim too much credit because all three of them had a wonderful mother in their teen years. I think, like me, Jennifer would be glad they're all healthy and happy. She and I shared a view that the chief responsibility of a parent is to prepare children to be independent and responsible citizens - to instill in them a set of values and a high respect for the rights of others.
So far, so good. The kids show no signs of being bigoted or judgemental or addicted to drugs or alcohol ... or any of the million other things parents worry about. I'm sure they've all done things they don't want me to know about but nothing so dark that I've had to post bail or apologise to a foreign power!
My younger son was seven when his mother died. I recall him asking me if I was going to die too. I promised him I would live to be a hundred. Now I'm more than half-way there and I'm sitting here tonight counting the blessings of the first fifty years and wondering what to do for the next fifty!
I think I'll just take things one day at a time for a while but, sooner or later, I feel it's important that I re-invigorate myself in some way - find something or someone to be passionate about. I still have my own teeth, my back is fine, my hair has not evaporated and my memory is unimpaired. Even my sex drive is intact!
However disastrous it seemed at the time, my one night of "passion" with Pam has left me yearning for regular sex. Definitely with someone who at least has a pulse. And preferably with someone who actually enjoys it. You'd be surprised how difficult it is for an ostensibly respectable widower to get laid on a regular basis. There must be some middle ground between the whores one pays by the hour and the widows who want to marry me and ensure I eat healthy food and have sex every second Saturday!
As for Pam, I've yet another blessing to count. She sees Tony tomorrow and I'm sure he'll help her a great deal. I think she needs to get a life but it could be a long haul. I don't think she will ever become my bosom buddy "with benefits". I'm okay with that - big of me, I know! - and I'm happy to be her friend.
The kids were referring to Pam as "Dad's girlfriend" over the weekend. I told them she was simply "Dad's friend" and that I'll let them know when someone comes along who seems ideal for the wicked step-mother role.
Having established that their father was not going to do anything so gross as to marry again, the kids conceded that they'd quite liked Pam, so I guess another barbecue and a game of tennis is not out of the question.
Ironic. Almost time to hit the hay. I've been listening to Diana Krall most of the evening. Right now, she, Elton John and Elvis Costello are giving a stirring rendition of "Makin' Whoopee". If only I were!
Still, we're counting blessings here. I may not be makin' whoopee right now, but I sure as hell want to and I know I can!
The big Birthday went well yesterday. Miss Eleven received two new DS games and some books from me and, as a "goodwill gesture", I also wrapped up and gave her a hideous brown wig I found in a thrift shop. It's acrylic and might best be described as "a bob". She wore it while her best friends were over for a Birthday Tea yesterday. Their unanimous view was that she looked awful! I think that puts hair-colouring to bed for another year or so!
I continue to be diligent with the fitness regime. Yesterday I just went for a run and did a few floor exercises when I got home, but this morning I hit the gym again and surpassed my previous record for laps in the pool. I'm still avoiding the temptation to step on the scales but I'm convinced my waistline has reduced by almost half a belt-notch, especially when I breathe in deeply!
All my appointments today went well. There are days when I feel absolutely seared by the heat of a person's anger, or deeply affected by someone's despair, or, perhaps, indignant at what some people are forced to endure. Sometimes it's difficult to mask one's feelings, sometimes it kills me to model the unshockable, unjudgemental and accepting person they need me to be. But everyone I saw today is making good progress and no great demands were placed upon my professionalism.
Another really good thing about today was that I actually managed to speak with each of my children one-on-one. Essentially, the older three rang to wish their little sister a Happy Birthday, but it was great to hear their voices.
Ms 28 - now the beleaguered mother of four children under six - found time to have a little moan about what hell parenthood is! I made all the appropriate noises and comments and felt grateful that - because she and her munchkins live some hundred miles north of me - I am not expected to lend a hand.
I find it amusing that she now consults me as an "expert" in child-rearing. Once upon a time, when she was sixteen, I can recall her telling me I was "the meanest Dad on Earth". I think it was because I refused her permission to get an eyebrow piercing!
Mr 26, having recently moved to the other side of Australia - near Sydney - gave me a report on his new job as an associate in a legal firm. He completed his Law Degree last year and has moved to New South Wales to live with a girl he met at a concert in Queensland. I know he'll settle down eventually. Right now, I suspect, his dick rules much of his thinking!
Ms 24, who now lives in Australia's far north-west, is undoubtedly the most placid of my children. She, too, seems to regard me as some sort of parenting guru, but her son - who had his first Birthday in June -is just as placid as his mother so I'm rarely called upon to proffer advice.
I can't help wondering if Jennifer would be pleased at how they've turned out. I know I'm pleased, but I cannot claim too much credit because all three of them had a wonderful mother in their teen years. I think, like me, Jennifer would be glad they're all healthy and happy. She and I shared a view that the chief responsibility of a parent is to prepare children to be independent and responsible citizens - to instill in them a set of values and a high respect for the rights of others.
So far, so good. The kids show no signs of being bigoted or judgemental or addicted to drugs or alcohol ... or any of the million other things parents worry about. I'm sure they've all done things they don't want me to know about but nothing so dark that I've had to post bail or apologise to a foreign power!
My younger son was seven when his mother died. I recall him asking me if I was going to die too. I promised him I would live to be a hundred. Now I'm more than half-way there and I'm sitting here tonight counting the blessings of the first fifty years and wondering what to do for the next fifty!
I think I'll just take things one day at a time for a while but, sooner or later, I feel it's important that I re-invigorate myself in some way - find something or someone to be passionate about. I still have my own teeth, my back is fine, my hair has not evaporated and my memory is unimpaired. Even my sex drive is intact!
However disastrous it seemed at the time, my one night of "passion" with Pam has left me yearning for regular sex. Definitely with someone who at least has a pulse. And preferably with someone who actually enjoys it. You'd be surprised how difficult it is for an ostensibly respectable widower to get laid on a regular basis. There must be some middle ground between the whores one pays by the hour and the widows who want to marry me and ensure I eat healthy food and have sex every second Saturday!
As for Pam, I've yet another blessing to count. She sees Tony tomorrow and I'm sure he'll help her a great deal. I think she needs to get a life but it could be a long haul. I don't think she will ever become my bosom buddy "with benefits". I'm okay with that - big of me, I know! - and I'm happy to be her friend.
The kids were referring to Pam as "Dad's girlfriend" over the weekend. I told them she was simply "Dad's friend" and that I'll let them know when someone comes along who seems ideal for the wicked step-mother role.
Having established that their father was not going to do anything so gross as to marry again, the kids conceded that they'd quite liked Pam, so I guess another barbecue and a game of tennis is not out of the question.
Ironic. Almost time to hit the hay. I've been listening to Diana Krall most of the evening. Right now, she, Elton John and Elvis Costello are giving a stirring rendition of "Makin' Whoopee". If only I were!
Still, we're counting blessings here. I may not be makin' whoopee right now, but I sure as hell want to and I know I can!