Day 11 : Two Handed Finish + Sexual Choice

As you might have seen, I have not updated the blog this week, thus have severely broken my first goal, POST TO THIS BLOG DAILY. My excuse, which I think is a good and valid one was that I was on vacation with the family. No internet, no time, no temptation meant no LPSG. It was missed as there were nights that I wanted to write, but I had better things to do like sleep! All-in-all, it was a stressful but good Thanksgiving vacation. Visited family and have begun to realize that my family is rather crazy. Crazy in a "what are they thinking" not, "we should be concerned". This realization is actually relieving as it makes my issues, hidden or in the open, less awkward. It all goes back to, "we are all human".

Letting Myself Finish
Last week before Thanksgiving week I did treat myself to a personal session. No stimulation beyond my mind and hands, in the dark and quite deliberate. Deliberate in such a way that it was more like an exploratory massage pushing and pulling me to the edge. The exploring, the pressures, feeling ridges, pulling skin and stretching "myself" down was very personal. I edged in the shower earlier in the week buy hadn't released. I came to the conclusion before I started this session that I would let myself finish. The concept I just mentioned, "let myself finish" is a really powerful one. Masturbation before was autonomous most of the time. Play - finish, play - finish. The recent introduction of edging gives one control and in my case that evening, I controlled my journey and ending. Between using two hands (usually one), every inch of my manhood was touched, massaged and given its much needed attention. The end was explosive, relieving and a perfect way to de-stress. Beyond the relaxed feeling, I came to realized how much I enjoyed the experience and that it was MY choice that ultimately gave it to me.

Choice
So, onto choice. Choice is something that we as humans constantly fight for. My choice to finish (have an orgasm) was something that I feel was taken from me when I interjected porn into the equation. Porn elicits this automatic sense of arousal (duh) and most of what I was watching ended in a messy orgasm, therefore, I followed suit. I am sure there are plenty of ladies and gentlemen out there that can watch porn and not go the route of play - finish, but it was something that I had a hard time doing. Even if I didn't play at that very moment while watching "pron", it was stuck in my head that I hadn't "played - finished" and that I needed to finish later. Finally, I began realizing that this thought process diverted my attention away from work, family, life, etc. This realization showed me that there was something wrong with my ability to self control and ultimately helped me start this blog. Everything else in my life is controlled to a point and it seems that this part of my life is somewhat chaotic. Regaining control of my sex life I personally believe is the key to my success.

More to come later as I need to catch up on some ZzzZzzz…

Cheers,

Mr G

Footnotes:
Voyeurism, sex as an art, the things we share/don't share in matrimony, how does make-up sex happen, ways to instigate play

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MrGoldBox
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