I am still around! I have come to realize that writing daily is too much of a chore because I want to write something of relevance for those that are actually following me. I don't want to post a blog update says, "It was a good day, Bye-Bye!". I write this blog in order to organize my thoughts and my thoughts are rather unorganized therefore it takes time to pen them. For that, I am sorry for the delay between posts.
The Joy of Sexual Attention
A few days ago I got some. Yea for me!! I will go into detail in a minute but this particular sexual excursion with the wife was due to a long and difficult conversation with her. Those people that assume that guys don't have feelings are dating the wrong guys because most of the guys I know have tons of them. The issue that I have and I am sure some of my guy friends have how to correctly express these feelings without getting trampled on or feeling emasculated. The conversation I had with her was about my feelings and thoughts about sex, what I wanted, what I needed, how we defined sex and the like.
We'll start with definition as I think this was the biggest misunderstanding between us. The word sex meant two different things to each of us. I do not equate "sex" to "fucking". I equate "sex" to foreplay, oral sex, vagina sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation, role playing, etc. It is an umbrella term in my head, so when I say, "Let's have sex" I am actually saying, "Let's have oral, vaginal, anal sex, do some mutual masturbation and I will be your Dom…get on your knees and worship me." Whoa, got carried away but you get the picture. When the wife says, "Let's have sex" she is actually saying, "Get your cock hard and fuck me". I enjoy her definition of sex immensely BUT it only covers a small slice of my sexual pie. So this brings up issue #1, we have a definition conflict.
Knowing that we had a definition malfunction cleared up a lot of other things. She was confused about why I wasn't satisfied with her definition of "sex" (quick foreplay + fucking) and I was confused by her lack of foreplay during "sex". In my head, everything was a quirky, and in her head everything was just right. There were times when I didn't finish mainly because I felt unstimulated because I wanted more than just a fuck.
Onto feelings. It took me a week or so to figure out a recent post "sex" (fucking) meltdown. My head wasn't in the moment, my body didn't feel happy and my wife, elated from a massive wave of orgasms hand no clue that she left me hanging. This wasn't a first time, but this one just didn't work out. I sat on the bed, cock messy and throbbing hard and extremely frustrated. Frustrated by the thought that she didn't care about me finishing or having a good time. I knew this thought was off and baited by the sour ending, but I had no idea how to tell her that I needed her to reciprocate the feelings, emotions and full body stimulation I was giving her. She is a good person, she wants me to be happy, she loves my body and mind, then how is this happening? Back to the previously mentioned definition issue, she fucked me but didn't know I wanted or needed more.
When we finally came to the conclusion that sex held different definitions for us, I was able to better explain what made me feel appreciated, warm, sexy and most of all hers. I believe I said something like the following:
"Hold my ass if I am on top, reach between us and massage my balls, pull on them, massage that space right behind them. Hold my shoulders for support, pinch my nipples, hold me close. It isn't about the rough blow job to completion, it is about the attention you give me and the reactions you elicit from me. I do the same for you every opportunity I have to pleasure you. I want you to feel like the luckiest woman alive with a stud of a husband. I just want you to do the same for me and it really doesn't take porn star qualities to do so."
She giggled, agreed and mentioned that all of that sounded easy. We spooned and fell asleep as it was rather late. I slept well knowing that the misunderstanding was sorted out and off my chest.
Sexy time!!
A few days later, the conversation and new understanding came to fruition. After dinner, I instigated it by pointing out, "I'm going to the bedroom, follow me if you want to have some fun." She jumped up from the couch and said, "Oh, be right there!". (Thank goodness she was in the mood but I had to give it a shot and I will so do it again later as she mentioned after all as done that she liked me taking that control.)
I shed my clothes in the bathroom and gave myself a quick bath. All nooks and crannies were so fresh and so clean and clean. From there I waited on the bed, soft between my legs but extremely ready. Remember at this point I have been without sex, porn or masturbation for almost 2 weeks, I was struggling to keep it together.
She walked in took off her shirt and bra to reveal some amazingly hard nipples (cold + excitement!) and proceeded to take off her pants and quickly jump in bed newt to me. No talking happened, just making out and hands all over the place. I grabbed her ass, she pulled my head in for a deeper kiss. She let a hand venture between my legs to find a semi hard cock yearning for her attention. At this point, I was outside myself, elated and drunk off her attention. As she continued to play down there, tugging on my balls and coaxing my cock to full attention I felt the need to dominate her and swung my body over her. She released hold of my cock and grabbed my back as I planked myself over her, cock resting against her stomach. She purposefully didn't allow me to get between her legs but made me straddle her mid section so that she could continue playing with my cock. I leaned back and allowed her play while my hands ran up her thighs in search of her wetness. Once I found it she pulled me closer and took the head of my cock in her mouth. I leaned forward over her head and pushed it deeper to her enjoyment. Leaning against the headrest I was merciless to her mouth and completely satisfied to be in that position. She sucked hard, stroked me and pulled on my balls. This was the attention I was looking for. After a minute or two of this I pushed my was down towards her and started to lick her small perky pink nipples. She squealed and moaned as my hands went between her thighs and quickly parted her lips with two fingers. She was amazingly wet and ready. Still straddling one of her legs, I held her down as I explored her warm vagina with my fingers. I couldn't wait any longer, spread her legs open and introduced the head of my cock to the inner parts of her labia. I wanted both of us to feel every inch of myself pushing deeper into her so I went slowly and deliberately. Her hands on my ass she guided me deeper and deeper until my balls rested against her. The heat, the juices, the throbbing…elated still. We proceeded to fuck, her favorite, slow to start off with then rough when it felt right. Leaning down with my chest against hers I bit her neck and growled in her ear, "Good wife" while my hips rocked into her. I soon made her turn over and she automatically raised her ass into the air. Again, I reintroduced my cock to her, grabbed her bent over hips (one of my most favorite visuals and places on her body) and continued fucking her. I would soon reach around and start playing with her clit which made her widen her splits on the bed. As she rocked back into me in anticipation to my cock and fingers moving over her I realized that I was close. Knowing that, I told her that she could start playing with herself (she is really good at it, almost too good!) as I went in for my "final approach". Thrusting got harder and more concentrated until I was at the point of no return. Two thrusts before I started she began moaning and tremoring as her fingers brought her to orgasm. I took this lead and concentrated on the load I had been saving up for two weeks. I pushed deep, held tight and felt my balls throb as she reached back and massaged me as I came. It ended in a few more shakey thrusts and a short spooning session on the bed. We both continued to ooze excitement as we held each other. That was great...
In the end I realized that it was was an orgasm that I chose with the help of a devoted and loving wife.
Hearty Sex Drive
I have read a few books and websites about sex drive and have come to the conclusion that I believe there is another definition they haven't considered or that I haven't read about. There is this concept between High Sex Drive (HSD) individual and Low Sex Drive (LSD) individuals, where the HSD's have sex top of mind and the LSD's don't think about it as much. I am butchering their definition into a Twitter tweet, but I think I have a Moderate Sex Drive with Hearty Sexual thoughts. Hearty comes from the contrast of fragile, something easily breakable. Over the past few weeks I have come to notice that thoughts of sex just STICK in my head, they are hearty, whereas my wife can talk about sex one minute and then be completely distracted by an email the next to the point where the thought about sex is no longer. I would define her has having Fragile Sexual thoughts in that they can easily be forgotten giving outside elements. I am still thinking through this so any thoughts on the subject matter would be great!
Current Scorecard on Day 16:
Pushups = 320
Mind wanderings = 3-4 per day
Personal Playtime = 1
The big "O" = 1
Sexy time = 1
Porn-quest = 2 (Michael Ninn, really minor!)
Footnotes:
Fine porn, Michael Ninn, other good / non-raunchy stuff? Perfect 10 magazine, That time of Her month
The Joy of Sexual Attention
A few days ago I got some. Yea for me!! I will go into detail in a minute but this particular sexual excursion with the wife was due to a long and difficult conversation with her. Those people that assume that guys don't have feelings are dating the wrong guys because most of the guys I know have tons of them. The issue that I have and I am sure some of my guy friends have how to correctly express these feelings without getting trampled on or feeling emasculated. The conversation I had with her was about my feelings and thoughts about sex, what I wanted, what I needed, how we defined sex and the like.
We'll start with definition as I think this was the biggest misunderstanding between us. The word sex meant two different things to each of us. I do not equate "sex" to "fucking". I equate "sex" to foreplay, oral sex, vagina sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation, role playing, etc. It is an umbrella term in my head, so when I say, "Let's have sex" I am actually saying, "Let's have oral, vaginal, anal sex, do some mutual masturbation and I will be your Dom…get on your knees and worship me." Whoa, got carried away but you get the picture. When the wife says, "Let's have sex" she is actually saying, "Get your cock hard and fuck me". I enjoy her definition of sex immensely BUT it only covers a small slice of my sexual pie. So this brings up issue #1, we have a definition conflict.
Knowing that we had a definition malfunction cleared up a lot of other things. She was confused about why I wasn't satisfied with her definition of "sex" (quick foreplay + fucking) and I was confused by her lack of foreplay during "sex". In my head, everything was a quirky, and in her head everything was just right. There were times when I didn't finish mainly because I felt unstimulated because I wanted more than just a fuck.
Onto feelings. It took me a week or so to figure out a recent post "sex" (fucking) meltdown. My head wasn't in the moment, my body didn't feel happy and my wife, elated from a massive wave of orgasms hand no clue that she left me hanging. This wasn't a first time, but this one just didn't work out. I sat on the bed, cock messy and throbbing hard and extremely frustrated. Frustrated by the thought that she didn't care about me finishing or having a good time. I knew this thought was off and baited by the sour ending, but I had no idea how to tell her that I needed her to reciprocate the feelings, emotions and full body stimulation I was giving her. She is a good person, she wants me to be happy, she loves my body and mind, then how is this happening? Back to the previously mentioned definition issue, she fucked me but didn't know I wanted or needed more.
When we finally came to the conclusion that sex held different definitions for us, I was able to better explain what made me feel appreciated, warm, sexy and most of all hers. I believe I said something like the following:
"Hold my ass if I am on top, reach between us and massage my balls, pull on them, massage that space right behind them. Hold my shoulders for support, pinch my nipples, hold me close. It isn't about the rough blow job to completion, it is about the attention you give me and the reactions you elicit from me. I do the same for you every opportunity I have to pleasure you. I want you to feel like the luckiest woman alive with a stud of a husband. I just want you to do the same for me and it really doesn't take porn star qualities to do so."
She giggled, agreed and mentioned that all of that sounded easy. We spooned and fell asleep as it was rather late. I slept well knowing that the misunderstanding was sorted out and off my chest.
Sexy time!!
A few days later, the conversation and new understanding came to fruition. After dinner, I instigated it by pointing out, "I'm going to the bedroom, follow me if you want to have some fun." She jumped up from the couch and said, "Oh, be right there!". (Thank goodness she was in the mood but I had to give it a shot and I will so do it again later as she mentioned after all as done that she liked me taking that control.)
I shed my clothes in the bathroom and gave myself a quick bath. All nooks and crannies were so fresh and so clean and clean. From there I waited on the bed, soft between my legs but extremely ready. Remember at this point I have been without sex, porn or masturbation for almost 2 weeks, I was struggling to keep it together.
She walked in took off her shirt and bra to reveal some amazingly hard nipples (cold + excitement!) and proceeded to take off her pants and quickly jump in bed newt to me. No talking happened, just making out and hands all over the place. I grabbed her ass, she pulled my head in for a deeper kiss. She let a hand venture between my legs to find a semi hard cock yearning for her attention. At this point, I was outside myself, elated and drunk off her attention. As she continued to play down there, tugging on my balls and coaxing my cock to full attention I felt the need to dominate her and swung my body over her. She released hold of my cock and grabbed my back as I planked myself over her, cock resting against her stomach. She purposefully didn't allow me to get between her legs but made me straddle her mid section so that she could continue playing with my cock. I leaned back and allowed her play while my hands ran up her thighs in search of her wetness. Once I found it she pulled me closer and took the head of my cock in her mouth. I leaned forward over her head and pushed it deeper to her enjoyment. Leaning against the headrest I was merciless to her mouth and completely satisfied to be in that position. She sucked hard, stroked me and pulled on my balls. This was the attention I was looking for. After a minute or two of this I pushed my was down towards her and started to lick her small perky pink nipples. She squealed and moaned as my hands went between her thighs and quickly parted her lips with two fingers. She was amazingly wet and ready. Still straddling one of her legs, I held her down as I explored her warm vagina with my fingers. I couldn't wait any longer, spread her legs open and introduced the head of my cock to the inner parts of her labia. I wanted both of us to feel every inch of myself pushing deeper into her so I went slowly and deliberately. Her hands on my ass she guided me deeper and deeper until my balls rested against her. The heat, the juices, the throbbing…elated still. We proceeded to fuck, her favorite, slow to start off with then rough when it felt right. Leaning down with my chest against hers I bit her neck and growled in her ear, "Good wife" while my hips rocked into her. I soon made her turn over and she automatically raised her ass into the air. Again, I reintroduced my cock to her, grabbed her bent over hips (one of my most favorite visuals and places on her body) and continued fucking her. I would soon reach around and start playing with her clit which made her widen her splits on the bed. As she rocked back into me in anticipation to my cock and fingers moving over her I realized that I was close. Knowing that, I told her that she could start playing with herself (she is really good at it, almost too good!) as I went in for my "final approach". Thrusting got harder and more concentrated until I was at the point of no return. Two thrusts before I started she began moaning and tremoring as her fingers brought her to orgasm. I took this lead and concentrated on the load I had been saving up for two weeks. I pushed deep, held tight and felt my balls throb as she reached back and massaged me as I came. It ended in a few more shakey thrusts and a short spooning session on the bed. We both continued to ooze excitement as we held each other. That was great...
In the end I realized that it was was an orgasm that I chose with the help of a devoted and loving wife.
Hearty Sex Drive
I have read a few books and websites about sex drive and have come to the conclusion that I believe there is another definition they haven't considered or that I haven't read about. There is this concept between High Sex Drive (HSD) individual and Low Sex Drive (LSD) individuals, where the HSD's have sex top of mind and the LSD's don't think about it as much. I am butchering their definition into a Twitter tweet, but I think I have a Moderate Sex Drive with Hearty Sexual thoughts. Hearty comes from the contrast of fragile, something easily breakable. Over the past few weeks I have come to notice that thoughts of sex just STICK in my head, they are hearty, whereas my wife can talk about sex one minute and then be completely distracted by an email the next to the point where the thought about sex is no longer. I would define her has having Fragile Sexual thoughts in that they can easily be forgotten giving outside elements. I am still thinking through this so any thoughts on the subject matter would be great!
Current Scorecard on Day 16:
Pushups = 320
Mind wanderings = 3-4 per day
Personal Playtime = 1
The big "O" = 1
Sexy time = 1
Porn-quest = 2 (Michael Ninn, really minor!)
Footnotes:
Fine porn, Michael Ninn, other good / non-raunchy stuff? Perfect 10 magazine, That time of Her month