So I saw Ezra_Pound's thread on suicide, and wanted to put some scattered thoughts down on depression.
A little bit of my history:
I have been depressed for a very long time now. I think its close to about 7 years. There were a few months in between, during the last semester of high school when I wasn't (really pretty girl and I were getting friendly...unfortunately nothing more....but that's for a different sob story), but then it hit again and harder. I was only diagnozed about a year ago. I struggled through most of university and finally couldn't take it anymore. I saw a phsychologist for 8 months, and then stopped going because my insurance coverage ran out for the year. But from talking to the psychologist, I understood a few things. I had depression and anxiety issues, I needed to be able to relax and refocus, and take care of the anxiety, and develop a new basis for happiness other than my marks at school and university. The psychologist taught me ways to relax, via meditation and breathing, and presented me with a different outlook on life.
My problem:
I don't know whether it's just depression or laziness, but I can't seem to get myself to do anything. I tend to be lethargic most of the time, and rarely ever seek the company of people. So without accomplishing anything, or having much of a social life (read....loner), the cycle continues...
I am really negative, and I hate that about myself...which ironically, is quite the slippery slope. Anyway. My point is, that this negativity, is kind of the cause AND effect of depression, forming some sort of....freaky-deaky....mobius strip....like situation. Incoherent similies aside, I desperately need to break this cycle. My life has gone nowhere for the past 4 years, and I want to stop this! I need to stay focused toward this end.
To be continued....
*dramatic cheesy music fadeout*
A little bit of my history:
I have been depressed for a very long time now. I think its close to about 7 years. There were a few months in between, during the last semester of high school when I wasn't (really pretty girl and I were getting friendly...unfortunately nothing more....but that's for a different sob story), but then it hit again and harder. I was only diagnozed about a year ago. I struggled through most of university and finally couldn't take it anymore. I saw a phsychologist for 8 months, and then stopped going because my insurance coverage ran out for the year. But from talking to the psychologist, I understood a few things. I had depression and anxiety issues, I needed to be able to relax and refocus, and take care of the anxiety, and develop a new basis for happiness other than my marks at school and university. The psychologist taught me ways to relax, via meditation and breathing, and presented me with a different outlook on life.
My problem:
I don't know whether it's just depression or laziness, but I can't seem to get myself to do anything. I tend to be lethargic most of the time, and rarely ever seek the company of people. So without accomplishing anything, or having much of a social life (read....loner), the cycle continues...
I am really negative, and I hate that about myself...which ironically, is quite the slippery slope. Anyway. My point is, that this negativity, is kind of the cause AND effect of depression, forming some sort of....freaky-deaky....mobius strip....like situation. Incoherent similies aside, I desperately need to break this cycle. My life has gone nowhere for the past 4 years, and I want to stop this! I need to stay focused toward this end.
To be continued....
*dramatic cheesy music fadeout*