Say you are in a relationship with someone, friends, lovers, married, whatever. Say also that both or all parties abuse each other on one level or another. How do you define the "bad guy"? Is it the man who goes out and cheats on his wife because their marriage consists of cohabition, the near-constant reminders of his failings, and dwindiling affection or passion? Does the blame lie with the woman, who tires of feeling she's becoming his mother, is bored or insulted by her husband's pastimes who fears he'll hurt her emotionally so she closes up and freezes him out?
Do you blame the person who turns herself into the scapegoat because she's been caught lying once, or do you blame her mother for constantly trying to say "you can be whatever you want to be at home, but could you tone it down around town? No one needs to know"
Do you blame the person who takes money from a shared bank account, then hands you over their debit card? Or do you blame those who share the account who long ago voided the agreement to discuss frivolous expenses?
*sighs* I know my own answers to these kinds of questions. Though they change from time to time. I just need to externalize them sometimes.
Do you blame the person who turns herself into the scapegoat because she's been caught lying once, or do you blame her mother for constantly trying to say "you can be whatever you want to be at home, but could you tone it down around town? No one needs to know"
Do you blame the person who takes money from a shared bank account, then hands you over their debit card? Or do you blame those who share the account who long ago voided the agreement to discuss frivolous expenses?
*sighs* I know my own answers to these kinds of questions. Though they change from time to time. I just need to externalize them sometimes.