douchebag

Just found out tonight the guy I've been seeing for months is cheating on me. It really shouldn't come as a surprise due to some warning signs that came up along the way but I was made to feel like such an asshole for insinuating that he was cheating. Well tonight I basically got the confirmation I needed. I have too many emotions going through me at this point but I don't know what to do. I can't sleep, I've taken some melatonin and it hasn't helped because my nerves and my adrenaline are just going crazy. And what makes it worse is that at the moment I'm staying at his house tonight because I'm currently in transition, moving from one place to another. I've decided to sleep in a separate room for now as it is the best thing to do. Man, I'm such a dumbass for not following what my heart has been saying for a while now...........

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I discovered that my wife had at least two affairs and it was pretty rough. I can kind of imagine what you are going through. Hang in there and never forget there are plenty of other fish in the sea that are more deserving of you!
 
If exculcivity is what you want in a realtionship, I imagine that you have discussed that with your partener and you were left with the impression that that was what you would have. That has not turned out to be the case. In no way am I trying to minimize your hurt and disappointment. But this is a statement about your partner, NOT about you. If you are forgiving enough, everyone deserves a second chance. But my experience is that once a cheater always a cheater. Lean on your circle of close friends to help you through this time. You deserve what you really want and no one should have the power to rob you of that. It didn't work out and that is too bad. But this is not your loss. It is his. YOU have the power here. Talk to him, wish him the best in the future, shake hands and go in opposite directions. Do not burn bridges. The actress Patty Duke had a great line about her failed relationships. "I always had wonderful men; I just had shitty timing." Every man that I have been seriously involved with is still apart of my life. I always say romance with me is like the Hotel California. You can check out anytime you would like, but you never leave. Never estimate the value of shared history. One day you will wake up and your memories are all that you will have. Good luck. But do make sure he knows what he lost.
 
That sucks, man. I think this is why it takes many months to really know someone, and to learn to trust them. It sucks that you couldn't trust him after all.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. (Although I recommend against throwing his favorite clothes out on the lawn and setting them on fire. It feels great for a while, until the fire department shows up...)
 
Thanks for the advice Texas41-38. I was pretty much going to leave on good terms because for the most part he has been very kind and giving. Early on, I did bring up exclusivity and we agreed upon that. I even told him that if he felt he wanted to see someone else to let me know first but he said that wouldn't be necessary. I do agree that I should let him know that he wrecked a good thing. Not sure how he'll take it, though.
 
unkutt1;bt31425 said:
Thanks for the advice Texas41-38. I was pretty much going to leave on good terms because for the most part he has been very kind and giving. Early on, I did bring up exclusivity and we agreed upon that. I even told him that if he felt he wanted to see someone else to let me know first but he said that wouldn't be necessary. I do agree that I should let him know that he wrecked a good thing. Not sure how he'll take it, though.

Glad I could help. Don't worry about how he is going to take it. Cause you gonna be giving it to someone else! Hard, loud and rough. And repeatedly! THAT is what he needs to know. And how will he take it? By trying to get back in your bed. Tell him you would rather fuck Janet Reno in the middle of Harvard Yard, than hook up with him right now.
 

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