Exploring with guys

Hi Everyone

Once again I met up with my jerk off buddy; it had been maybe 6 months since last time we met. He told me he is openly gay now and is looking for a bf. At this point I don't think I could ever have a relationship with a guy but I find him extremely attractive and he has a huge dick that I love to suck. However, once we got down to business things got super weird. I was literally shaking so I asked him to shower with. He didn't seem too interested but still joined me. We made out a little but it was awkward and he just told me we should go back to my room. Once we started jo I couldnt get hard and he sucked my dick a little but to be honest for a gay guy he fails at giving bj, my last gf was much better. Then I sucked him off and he completely loved it he couldnt stop twitching and moaning. Anyway the whole point of this blog entry is that I couldn't even come with this guy, I dont know if I just like the idea of doing stuff with a guy but dont actually like it or what...I am so confused and I am pretty sure I will never see him again

Any comments?

Comments

Your story touched me. I feel you need a hug so *hug*.

Seriously, I go soft too when I feel there might be too much riding on the success of a sexual encounter. I also used to shake when I was a young guy and first saw gay porn. I think I was nervous more than excited, so my body was reacting to something unfamiliar.

Why? I think your JO buddy freaked you out when he announced that his is gay and is looking for a boyfriend. From your tone, I get that you would have preferred to just keep it as a casual JO friendship and not have the added weight of a relationship associated with it.

You sound like a very caring, generous person, because it takes some effort to give a good BJ when you don't really feel turned on yourself or when your own dick isn't responding. On the other hand, he sounds a bit selfish or demanding, he loved your BJ but he didn't do much for you. Some guys aren't very understanding when you go soft and they take it as an insult. They can't be bothered spending e time to let you relax and get hard again, especially if there is time pressure or if they have something else on their mind.

Going into the shower was a good idea to relieve the tension. It would have worked if your friend gave you a chance to relax.

Maybe you could contact him again and say that you were stressed when you two last got together and you hope he isn't annoyed that the sex wasn't so great. Tell him that you are not looking for a boyfriend at the moment but you have really enjoyed what you had together in the past, that he has a great body and so long as he doesn't need a bigger commitment from you, you would really like to stay JO buddies. Tell him that you hope he finds himself a great boyfriend and if he chooses not to see you again you would understand, but you will miss his company. Maybe ask him if he would like to go somewhere non-sexual, like a sporting event or to the beach or a movie, just to have a chance to talk again.

Finally, and most importantly, you are a beautiful young man with a great future ahead of you. If this guy is a jerk listen to Madonna:

"Don't go for second best baby, put your love to the test.
You know you wanna make him express himself baby,
Then you'll know your love is true"

You deserve the best, so don't settle.

*hugs*

NoH8
 
Hey thanks for your comment it made feel better and I think I have always been a giver when it comes to sex even when I have been with girls. I think it is a bad thing because it puts pressure on you, whether you will satisy your partner completely or not
 
Thank you Latin_Cock you're welcome. I'm glad you feel better, and I picked you for a giver and not a taker. I'm a bit the same in sex. I just had an idea. You need to have sex or even just a massage with someone who is only there for you, not himself. So you can lie back, watch porn, relax and have someone really work your body to a climax. You might want to discuss this idea with an older guy who has a bit more experience and who isn't in an urgent rush to get off himself. I guess someone about 25 to 30 who still has a good body. (That counts me out!)

What do you think?
 
Too many times there are too high an expectations and no one can relax and enjoy it fully. There might be some things that each of you do better than other things. I have found that some guys have not done much exploration. The shower together sure can be fun! :) It is nice to have things going both ways so both parties enjoy the fun and pleasures.
 
Good luck to you, your self-awareness is right on. To know oneself sexually and what one desires is the beginning of sexual fulfillment. You are going to get there! I was putting way too much time with an old friend. I now realize it may have been more nostalgia or a connection to the past. I sensed that to the degree that I was still entangled with him, there might be someone else waiting for me. In other words, I couldn't move on to find a more fulfilling partner until I let go. That is where I am today.
 

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