Fighting an Eating Disorder

Off and on I've been fighting this stupid eating disorder... but it's like, shit... I don't have a job, I don't have a legal vehicle, no ID, no friends here in Spokanistan, no family. I just eat because I'm bored, lonely, and now holy shit I'm fat! I weighed myself today at 185. I almost cried... so I reached for the milk, since I have no laxatives. Yeah, yeah... I know, but I'm lactose intolerant, so believe me, the effects outweigh the fat and calorie content. Then what? My shoes are too beat up to go anywhere in the snow? I can't get my fat ass to a gym, because that shit costs money, and I don't have a job.

So I'm stuck... being fat. No weights to lift. Nowhere dry to walk. Now I'm starting to hate food.

One of these days, bulimia, I will kill you. I will throw out the scale, and I will love my body, for all its cellulite and rolls... but until then, we're going to be close.

Comments

I dnt think u should not trust much those home scales, last saturday i went to see a nutricionist, and when i got on the scale i was lighter than i tought, u can make homemade weights with empty soda bottles, just fill them up with water, and there u go :)
 
I'm taking it you're in school, so I would go to a campus outreach center and seek out some serious counciling soon. I went thru the whole anerexia/bulima/compulsive eating thing in my teens-early 20's, and sought out help thru a private psychiatrist and eventually to treatment. The weeks leading up to going to treatment, my cock totally went limp; I started to have issues with my heart as well as many other health issues. Seek out anything you can get as far as health and help stave out the hardships I went thru.
 
You can exercise at home dear! try dancing, or something fun so that you wont have an automatic negative association in your head. You could also try a vegetarian diet. I know a lot of people who have lots significant amounts of weight and reduced their risk for heart disease and diabetes through vegetarianism!
 
You sound like you have the winter blues! You do need to make whatever routine you come up with fun! It's the only way you'll stick with it. If you have stairs in your home, many easy excercises from stretching to walking the stairs that can help. Excercise releases endorphins which help lift your mood naturally. Veggies, veggies, veggies! The more colorful the better and roasting them brings out the natural sugars and makes them much more yummy! When I was much younger I was a food control freak. I'd limit myself to one small meal a day. I've had some long term health issues because of that. I no longer do that, but still have the urge to when I stress out. Try to be healthy now for your future self!
 
i only can say to you that i had also an eating disorder......exercize helped me a lot.thats what i can say to you.really i hope you have good luck with it

xxx
 
If you ever need someone to talk to about it you can PM me. I've been there and done it. There's is always more to it than just food. You might be depressed. It sounds to me as though you are sort of trapped in your current situation. The long term affects from battling eating disorders are not good. I did a lot of f'd up stuff to stay thin. I've always had really big breasts and I was extremely self concious when I was younger to the point that I saw an after school special on eating disorders and learned how to do things from watching it. For awhile it was like a battle with my body image even though I wasn't overweight. Then as I got older it became more of a reward. People from the outside don't always understand. You have to ignore those people.

First you have to do something about dealing with the things that are bothering you. To work off some weight you can excersise at home as many of the others have said. Don't turn to other ways to lose it. First thing I would reccommend is step away from the scale. Put it away in the closet. Sit down and make yourself a workout routine to do everyday. Before you know it you will begin to feel better about yourself.
 
Every time you reach for food, make yourself drink a glass of water first. Also I was helped very much simply by pacing from one end of the house to the other, like an animal at the zoo if you will... it sets up a calming rhythm after a bit.
 
Pushups, situps, dips, run, do yoga, there are hundreds of exercises where you don't need weights.

Find paint cans and fill them with dirt. Cover the handles with old socks. Perfect for curls. Old milk jugs work too.

I used to do chinups in the school bathroom. the stalls are great for that.

Stand on a step and do calf raises or stand next to a door and use that for balancing.

When sitting at your computer do leg raises.

There are so many ways to exercise, it is all up to you.
 
Go to bodybuilding.com. There's lots of articles and exercises to do with just your own body weight. You can do it, don't be so down.
 
try using one of those exercise ball. they work damn fast and dont hurt your back like normal sit ups. and dont get caught up in the numbers cause they dont mean shit
 
I tend to find listening to pleasing music fights back urges to eat out of boredom. Maybe that's just me.
 

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DasLeezard
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