found this online
Here are my five things that have to be met in order to consider yourself a friend OR in order to know if the person you are friends with is truly a friend:
5 steps for determining if the person who you consider a friend is really a friend.
1) They are there for the bad and the good times. A true...real friend isn't just there for the good times but also is there for the bad times.
2) The person asks you how are you, how have you been, these types of questions that show they actually care, care about how you are, care about your well-being. And this second part is important they aren't just asking because they have some ulterior motive - no they are asking because they truly care.
3) And this one kind of ties into #2 but they don't make things about them all the time or every time. They don't turn every conversation into a thing about them or turn a conversation into something about them. If they ask you a question like How are you? And you answer and they then turn the topic into being about them.
4) You talk to them on a regular basis. You can't be a real friend or consider yourself a friend if you never talk to the person. If you go more than a week without talking to them that's a red flag. A friendship shouldn't be one person putting everything into it. It should be 50/50. So if you go more than a week without talking to them they aren't putting in their 50% and it should not be on you to put in more than 50%. EVER. So if they don't find it important enough to talk to you then you have your answer.
5) Your own personal therapist. Someone you confide in. You trust them enough not to spill your tea to someone else. There is a level of trust that you can tell them something and they will be able to ask the right questions to help you out. This involves telling you something personal, something that is going on in their head, heart, mind, and mostly likely in their personal life.
Now, #4 is the most important. It's #4 but the most important one. Everything else stems from #4.
#5 is the peak. That means numbers 1-4 are good and you have hit the peak #5.
BUT on the other hand if #4 isn't happening then none of the rest of them are and that should be a red flag.
Here are my five things that have to be met in order to consider yourself a friend OR in order to know if the person you are friends with is truly a friend:
5 steps for determining if the person who you consider a friend is really a friend.
1) They are there for the bad and the good times. A true...real friend isn't just there for the good times but also is there for the bad times.
2) The person asks you how are you, how have you been, these types of questions that show they actually care, care about how you are, care about your well-being. And this second part is important they aren't just asking because they have some ulterior motive - no they are asking because they truly care.
3) And this one kind of ties into #2 but they don't make things about them all the time or every time. They don't turn every conversation into a thing about them or turn a conversation into something about them. If they ask you a question like How are you? And you answer and they then turn the topic into being about them.
4) You talk to them on a regular basis. You can't be a real friend or consider yourself a friend if you never talk to the person. If you go more than a week without talking to them that's a red flag. A friendship shouldn't be one person putting everything into it. It should be 50/50. So if you go more than a week without talking to them they aren't putting in their 50% and it should not be on you to put in more than 50%. EVER. So if they don't find it important enough to talk to you then you have your answer.
5) Your own personal therapist. Someone you confide in. You trust them enough not to spill your tea to someone else. There is a level of trust that you can tell them something and they will be able to ask the right questions to help you out. This involves telling you something personal, something that is going on in their head, heart, mind, and mostly likely in their personal life.
Now, #4 is the most important. It's #4 but the most important one. Everything else stems from #4.
#5 is the peak. That means numbers 1-4 are good and you have hit the peak #5.
BUT on the other hand if #4 isn't happening then none of the rest of them are and that should be a red flag.
