( sorry I got a long winded)
Ok so to to start off, I will have been single for a year come this march. I made myself go a while without dating as I found that I had issues with being alone. I have been looking for a new boy friend recently (not actively but passively), seeing if someone came along. I never broke contact with my ex, we have stayed friends. He has recently been asking to get back together again to which I have replied no. There are many reasons why, however he is very persistent.
There is another friend whom I met at the beginning of my 3rd year of college while in New York. We hung out quite often both in a group setting and alone. However I was dating then so nothing romantic ever happened between us. He had asked me out once when i was going through some things with my ex. I replied no and my ex tried to restrict me from seeing him as much but we were able to remain friends despite the incident. He has asked me out two more times over the past year. However since I was on a hiatus my replies have been no, he has stressed his feelings towards me but I do not feel exactly the same. While I do find him attractive and i have some feelings for him they are more like inclinations. After School I moved back to California and he to Texas. Last week he asked me to talk over the phone. During the conversation he told me that he was "in love" with me and felt like I was the one he was suppose to be with etc etc. I could not return his feelings and I have felt extremely guilty the past few days. Needless to say we have not talked since except for a few text with him saying he was going to distance himself from me for a while. As a friend who i am use to talking to daily, the lack of his presence has made me a bit saddened.
The one guy who I have been into lately now lives about four hours away. Thus it is looking like nothing may happen with that.
The last incident of this week happened last night. I was talking to a friend named sean whom I have not met in person. I know him from a video game that I play, he is the friend of someone who I do actually know ( they both live an hour away from me). Anyways he and his long time girlfriend who he is still deeply in love with broke up about 3 weeks ago. He has been trying to get her back but to no avail. He messed up really bad and has been wanting another shot. However she has cut off all contact with him and wont respond to text or calls ( every once in a while she will respond to a good morning text). His situation is quite similar to how my ex and myself broke up the last time ( only difference is my ex did the same thing 3 times he only did it once). Therefore he has been talking to me about it. I have been trying to help him with giving her some space, as that was part of the problem, and help him keep his mind off of things because he gets depressed. Usually we are with a group of friends and playing but last night I did not want to play so we were just talking. Our conversation ended up going to a extremely sexual place and neither of us stopped until pretty much everything had been said. I told him that we should not have talked like that as he is trying to get his ex back. Albeit was only talking no pictures were exchanged or any type of " i wanna do X with you". So we agreed that it was only a fun talk and nothing more so I went to bed.
Aside from all of that I have been having these intense sex dreams with some mystery guy the last 4 days or so . One might think that this would be something enjoyable. However they end up waking me up multiple times throughout the night to the point where times i just stay awake as i feel too frustrated to go back to sleep. Needless to say this has made me moody and irritable to some extent and its starting to get to me. To make things worse the guy turned into Sean last night now i feel like total crap as the guilt just seems to keep piling on.
I have just been down and trying my best to ignore it. Its times like these i wish my emotions had an off switch. I hate being overly emotional -.- (sorry it was a bit long)
Ok so to to start off, I will have been single for a year come this march. I made myself go a while without dating as I found that I had issues with being alone. I have been looking for a new boy friend recently (not actively but passively), seeing if someone came along. I never broke contact with my ex, we have stayed friends. He has recently been asking to get back together again to which I have replied no. There are many reasons why, however he is very persistent.
There is another friend whom I met at the beginning of my 3rd year of college while in New York. We hung out quite often both in a group setting and alone. However I was dating then so nothing romantic ever happened between us. He had asked me out once when i was going through some things with my ex. I replied no and my ex tried to restrict me from seeing him as much but we were able to remain friends despite the incident. He has asked me out two more times over the past year. However since I was on a hiatus my replies have been no, he has stressed his feelings towards me but I do not feel exactly the same. While I do find him attractive and i have some feelings for him they are more like inclinations. After School I moved back to California and he to Texas. Last week he asked me to talk over the phone. During the conversation he told me that he was "in love" with me and felt like I was the one he was suppose to be with etc etc. I could not return his feelings and I have felt extremely guilty the past few days. Needless to say we have not talked since except for a few text with him saying he was going to distance himself from me for a while. As a friend who i am use to talking to daily, the lack of his presence has made me a bit saddened.
The one guy who I have been into lately now lives about four hours away. Thus it is looking like nothing may happen with that.
The last incident of this week happened last night. I was talking to a friend named sean whom I have not met in person. I know him from a video game that I play, he is the friend of someone who I do actually know ( they both live an hour away from me). Anyways he and his long time girlfriend who he is still deeply in love with broke up about 3 weeks ago. He has been trying to get her back but to no avail. He messed up really bad and has been wanting another shot. However she has cut off all contact with him and wont respond to text or calls ( every once in a while she will respond to a good morning text). His situation is quite similar to how my ex and myself broke up the last time ( only difference is my ex did the same thing 3 times he only did it once). Therefore he has been talking to me about it. I have been trying to help him with giving her some space, as that was part of the problem, and help him keep his mind off of things because he gets depressed. Usually we are with a group of friends and playing but last night I did not want to play so we were just talking. Our conversation ended up going to a extremely sexual place and neither of us stopped until pretty much everything had been said. I told him that we should not have talked like that as he is trying to get his ex back. Albeit was only talking no pictures were exchanged or any type of " i wanna do X with you". So we agreed that it was only a fun talk and nothing more so I went to bed.
Aside from all of that I have been having these intense sex dreams with some mystery guy the last 4 days or so . One might think that this would be something enjoyable. However they end up waking me up multiple times throughout the night to the point where times i just stay awake as i feel too frustrated to go back to sleep. Needless to say this has made me moody and irritable to some extent and its starting to get to me. To make things worse the guy turned into Sean last night now i feel like total crap as the guilt just seems to keep piling on.
I have just been down and trying my best to ignore it. Its times like these i wish my emotions had an off switch. I hate being overly emotional -.- (sorry it was a bit long)