I wrote this in response to a thread about fuck buddies...but since I wrote a book as my response, I decided to put it in my blog too.
I've had a few fuck buddies. Some great, some good, some not-so-good. (Yes, one guy that I liked a lot as a friend, really sucked in bed…but I did like making out with him.) To me, a fuck buddy is a consistent sex partner. It’s one level up from a bootie call.
Whereas a bootie call is a random hook up. someone you hook up with but don’t really know (and don’t care to know well) and call drunk when you realize he or she is your most viable option for sex for the evening OR someone you don’t particularly like but the sex is too good to resist
And as opposed to Friend with Benefits: someone you know, genuinely like, and will hang out with during daylight (sober) hours but isn’t relationship material so you don’t date but when the moment strikes you right (perhaps you’re drunk and horny and he or she happens to be in your presence ) you hook up, on occasion
I really liked this linked definition, complete with behavior patterns for different types of relationships.
http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/07/02/booty-call-fuck-buddy-or-friend-with-benefits/
Some people are not cut out for fuck buddies. They get too emotionally involved. Or jealous. Over the past year, I was in a place where a fuck buddy was exactly what I was ready for. Going thru a divorce sucks and there’s a bit o’ drama involved…so I got what I needed physically, most of the time, without getting too involved. People who do get possessive and jealous…or way too intense too early it usually doesn’t work out with. One guy who lives about 45 minutes away from me would get upset when I went out with or hooked up with guys who lived by me, even though we weren’t exclusively dating/fucking.
The best fuck buddy I've ever had played by the rules of the fuck buddy rule book--like he wrote it. He was crystal clear in both word & action about the parameters of our fuck buddy relationship. I knew he had at least one other consistent girl in his pitching rotation, which was sometimes added to. Right from the beginning he told me that he was out of town a lot and that he didn’t have a lot of time. I was ok with all that. Communication was clear. Expectations were set. No jealousy. I didn’t have any delusions that we’d be anything other than what we were. He never slept over. He didn’t really kiss me all that much. Kept it strictly in fun & hot sex mode. The sex was good, fun and hot. My only issue was that it wasn’t enough. I wanted sex more than he had time to give me. He has a big cock and in a way taught me how great sex can be with a guy who’s well endowed. In fact he introduced me to LPSG. He knew that I enjoyed getting fucked with a big cock and he wanted me to have other guys who were big that could service me. I had other guys that I could hook up with whenever I wanted. Not a regular fuck buddy thing…but more bootie call status. These were with guys who were not well endowed. So after I’d been getting it pretty much weekly from the ideal fuck buddy…it seemed like a waste of time to have sex with a random average-sized guy. The coolest thing about my best fuck buddy is that he contacted me usually at least once a day. I loved it because I knew he was at least thinking about me for that one moment of the day. I love attention. I love the compliments he’d give me. I appreciated the quick text to say hi. Another super cool thing about him is that he loves to hear about my sexcapades with other guys. And sex is the primary thing we communicate about. But we also talk about work, or our weekend plans too. I’ve gotten him to share a few cool, personal stories with me. And I appreciate that he trusted me enough to tell me about them. We usually text…once in a while chat and rarely talk on the phone…but sometimes a good story is easier to tell via a phone call vs. texting it.
I met this guy on an online dating site…when chatted…he sent me pictures of his cock…which really inspired me to meet up with him. We met at a bar and hung out & talked for a while…then later that night we had a WILD hook up. But that’s another WHOLE for a different time. We live about 15 minutes apart. So it was convenient. It’s funny…but I now totally consider this guy a friend. I do care about him in a friend way. And if I wasn’t involved with someone… hell yes, I’d totally hook up with him again. He’s first on the waiting list.
Now…my current sex partner (my young hot guy) and fellow LPSG member, who I’m completely satisfied with, who rocks my world, my favorite stress reliever and a great guy…was supposed to be my new fuck buddy. Or a supplemental fuck buddy to my original lpsg fuck buddy, as described above. The first time we met in person, which was nearly 2 months ago, I told him that I would prefer to have just one sex partner…makes things easier, safer and makes me feel less whore-like. The reason he’s not my fuck buddy is that from my perspective we’re more than that. Our friendship doesn’t follow the “traditional” fuck buddy parameters.
My hot guy and I hang out. We talk. We listen to music. We watch tv and movies. We go out in public. We go out to eat. We go out to the movies. We go shoot pool. And many other fun activities -- In and out of my bedroom. The sex is truly amazing. I haven’t had this much sex since I was 25. We’re really starting to get to know each other, not only what we like in bed…but in life in general. I enjoy his company. I like him. I think he’s funny, fun, smart, cool, nice, sweet, hot, good looking, sexy and a good person. He has an awesome body and I think his cock is the perfect size for me. And he’s quite skilled in bed. I have zero complaints about our sex life. It gets better and better. He’s got stamina and zero down time. I LOVE kissing him. I could just kiss him and have a fabulous time. Plus we have lots of fun…he makes me laugh a lot. He’s met my kids and is nice to them. My life is a bit overwhelming for him I’m sure, but he’s a good sport about it. So…again…just to reiterate…our friendship is NOT that of a fuck buddy. We see each other several nights a week, and he’s only not slept over 3 times. What are we? I don’t know. It’s hard to define. But I do know that I’m quite smitten with him. And I’m enjoying every minute of it. Trying not to have any expectations. But he’s exactly what I need in my life right now. A cool, fun, hot guy to make me have multiple orgasms and hit my backstop…while taking away all my stress. And he gave me my new favorite place to be.
I've had a few fuck buddies. Some great, some good, some not-so-good. (Yes, one guy that I liked a lot as a friend, really sucked in bed…but I did like making out with him.) To me, a fuck buddy is a consistent sex partner. It’s one level up from a bootie call.
Whereas a bootie call is a random hook up. someone you hook up with but don’t really know (and don’t care to know well) and call drunk when you realize he or she is your most viable option for sex for the evening OR someone you don’t particularly like but the sex is too good to resist
And as opposed to Friend with Benefits: someone you know, genuinely like, and will hang out with during daylight (sober) hours but isn’t relationship material so you don’t date but when the moment strikes you right (perhaps you’re drunk and horny and he or she happens to be in your presence ) you hook up, on occasion
I really liked this linked definition, complete with behavior patterns for different types of relationships.
http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/07/02/booty-call-fuck-buddy-or-friend-with-benefits/
Some people are not cut out for fuck buddies. They get too emotionally involved. Or jealous. Over the past year, I was in a place where a fuck buddy was exactly what I was ready for. Going thru a divorce sucks and there’s a bit o’ drama involved…so I got what I needed physically, most of the time, without getting too involved. People who do get possessive and jealous…or way too intense too early it usually doesn’t work out with. One guy who lives about 45 minutes away from me would get upset when I went out with or hooked up with guys who lived by me, even though we weren’t exclusively dating/fucking.
The best fuck buddy I've ever had played by the rules of the fuck buddy rule book--like he wrote it. He was crystal clear in both word & action about the parameters of our fuck buddy relationship. I knew he had at least one other consistent girl in his pitching rotation, which was sometimes added to. Right from the beginning he told me that he was out of town a lot and that he didn’t have a lot of time. I was ok with all that. Communication was clear. Expectations were set. No jealousy. I didn’t have any delusions that we’d be anything other than what we were. He never slept over. He didn’t really kiss me all that much. Kept it strictly in fun & hot sex mode. The sex was good, fun and hot. My only issue was that it wasn’t enough. I wanted sex more than he had time to give me. He has a big cock and in a way taught me how great sex can be with a guy who’s well endowed. In fact he introduced me to LPSG. He knew that I enjoyed getting fucked with a big cock and he wanted me to have other guys who were big that could service me. I had other guys that I could hook up with whenever I wanted. Not a regular fuck buddy thing…but more bootie call status. These were with guys who were not well endowed. So after I’d been getting it pretty much weekly from the ideal fuck buddy…it seemed like a waste of time to have sex with a random average-sized guy. The coolest thing about my best fuck buddy is that he contacted me usually at least once a day. I loved it because I knew he was at least thinking about me for that one moment of the day. I love attention. I love the compliments he’d give me. I appreciated the quick text to say hi. Another super cool thing about him is that he loves to hear about my sexcapades with other guys. And sex is the primary thing we communicate about. But we also talk about work, or our weekend plans too. I’ve gotten him to share a few cool, personal stories with me. And I appreciate that he trusted me enough to tell me about them. We usually text…once in a while chat and rarely talk on the phone…but sometimes a good story is easier to tell via a phone call vs. texting it.
I met this guy on an online dating site…when chatted…he sent me pictures of his cock…which really inspired me to meet up with him. We met at a bar and hung out & talked for a while…then later that night we had a WILD hook up. But that’s another WHOLE for a different time. We live about 15 minutes apart. So it was convenient. It’s funny…but I now totally consider this guy a friend. I do care about him in a friend way. And if I wasn’t involved with someone… hell yes, I’d totally hook up with him again. He’s first on the waiting list.
Now…my current sex partner (my young hot guy) and fellow LPSG member, who I’m completely satisfied with, who rocks my world, my favorite stress reliever and a great guy…was supposed to be my new fuck buddy. Or a supplemental fuck buddy to my original lpsg fuck buddy, as described above. The first time we met in person, which was nearly 2 months ago, I told him that I would prefer to have just one sex partner…makes things easier, safer and makes me feel less whore-like. The reason he’s not my fuck buddy is that from my perspective we’re more than that. Our friendship doesn’t follow the “traditional” fuck buddy parameters.
My hot guy and I hang out. We talk. We listen to music. We watch tv and movies. We go out in public. We go out to eat. We go out to the movies. We go shoot pool. And many other fun activities -- In and out of my bedroom. The sex is truly amazing. I haven’t had this much sex since I was 25. We’re really starting to get to know each other, not only what we like in bed…but in life in general. I enjoy his company. I like him. I think he’s funny, fun, smart, cool, nice, sweet, hot, good looking, sexy and a good person. He has an awesome body and I think his cock is the perfect size for me. And he’s quite skilled in bed. I have zero complaints about our sex life. It gets better and better. He’s got stamina and zero down time. I LOVE kissing him. I could just kiss him and have a fabulous time. Plus we have lots of fun…he makes me laugh a lot. He’s met my kids and is nice to them. My life is a bit overwhelming for him I’m sure, but he’s a good sport about it. So…again…just to reiterate…our friendship is NOT that of a fuck buddy. We see each other several nights a week, and he’s only not slept over 3 times. What are we? I don’t know. It’s hard to define. But I do know that I’m quite smitten with him. And I’m enjoying every minute of it. Trying not to have any expectations. But he’s exactly what I need in my life right now. A cool, fun, hot guy to make me have multiple orgasms and hit my backstop…while taking away all my stress. And he gave me my new favorite place to be.
