So....did I tell everyone how unfit I am for work? Yes, I'm sure I've told everyone on this site in this short period of time how much my job stresses me out.
I need to talk with my professor today. She and another professor are looking for ways to help me in my situation. I think the best way to help me out would be to get on disability.
Does anyone here collect disability? How much money do you get per month? Is it a fraction of your income you were making before you were unable to work?
My doctor said there's a good chance I could be approved for disability with my 7 year history of being treated for anxiety, depression, and bipolar, and therapeutic records going back to the age of 8.
In other words, yes, I am damaged goods. Maybe my cock and brain are better than average (and in both regards, I'm content. I'm no Stephen Hawking or Ron Jeremy, but I'm content), but my constitution certainly isn't.
It's like my body is telling me: work is killing you. I was fine all day yesterday. I planned my lessons, I did my graduate coursework, etc. But my body self-sabotaged come 7:30. I was exhausted. Maybe it was my body's getting used to a vegan diet. For a vegetarian, I was extremely dairy dependent. But I don't think it was that, I think it was just my body knew that tomorrow was work, so let's shut down so that I fall asleep early and wake up early and not get enough sleep. If this happens enough, he'll be so fed up, he quits, and we win.
So, I fell asleep at around 8:15. I woke up at 1. I tried to fall back asleep and I probably got another hour or so from 2-3. Still, I am exhausted. I'm always tired when I wake up in the middle of the night no matter how much or little I sleep.
So, what am I going to do today? I can't call in sick for work because I have my graduate class today. I'm going to go right down to the Rite-Aid and pick up an 8 hour energy shot. Drink it as soon as I feel unable to function anymore (probably right before my first class) and get by on chemicals until it wears off right around the time my grad. class starts. Then, I'm going to buy a Sobe and drink that just to make it through my presentation.
This is not normal. People will probably say that I shouldn't take anything. Well, I've already called in sick 9 times in 3+ months on the job. 5 times in the last 2 weeks. If you call in sick for more than 10 times, they dock your pay. I don't want to be absent more than once in the last 7 days of school before break.
So, I guess, I'm just going to teach my classes today. Load up on the energy shot and just try to get by.
But it's not just the lack of sleep that gets to me....it's not.......it's the feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
I thought teaching would be easy. I figured, I'm a smart guy, and I can relate to the kids, so how hard could it be? I was a fool. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in life. More difficult than acting, more difficult than canvassing, more difficult than finding money to stock up on cigarettes at all times in college.
I don't know what I'm going to do....I just hope something changes in my situation right quick. I can't wait two to six months for my cousin to find me a job with him. I feel like I'm cracking up.
I need to talk with my professor today. She and another professor are looking for ways to help me in my situation. I think the best way to help me out would be to get on disability.
Does anyone here collect disability? How much money do you get per month? Is it a fraction of your income you were making before you were unable to work?
My doctor said there's a good chance I could be approved for disability with my 7 year history of being treated for anxiety, depression, and bipolar, and therapeutic records going back to the age of 8.
In other words, yes, I am damaged goods. Maybe my cock and brain are better than average (and in both regards, I'm content. I'm no Stephen Hawking or Ron Jeremy, but I'm content), but my constitution certainly isn't.
It's like my body is telling me: work is killing you. I was fine all day yesterday. I planned my lessons, I did my graduate coursework, etc. But my body self-sabotaged come 7:30. I was exhausted. Maybe it was my body's getting used to a vegan diet. For a vegetarian, I was extremely dairy dependent. But I don't think it was that, I think it was just my body knew that tomorrow was work, so let's shut down so that I fall asleep early and wake up early and not get enough sleep. If this happens enough, he'll be so fed up, he quits, and we win.
So, I fell asleep at around 8:15. I woke up at 1. I tried to fall back asleep and I probably got another hour or so from 2-3. Still, I am exhausted. I'm always tired when I wake up in the middle of the night no matter how much or little I sleep.
So, what am I going to do today? I can't call in sick for work because I have my graduate class today. I'm going to go right down to the Rite-Aid and pick up an 8 hour energy shot. Drink it as soon as I feel unable to function anymore (probably right before my first class) and get by on chemicals until it wears off right around the time my grad. class starts. Then, I'm going to buy a Sobe and drink that just to make it through my presentation.
This is not normal. People will probably say that I shouldn't take anything. Well, I've already called in sick 9 times in 3+ months on the job. 5 times in the last 2 weeks. If you call in sick for more than 10 times, they dock your pay. I don't want to be absent more than once in the last 7 days of school before break.
So, I guess, I'm just going to teach my classes today. Load up on the energy shot and just try to get by.
But it's not just the lack of sleep that gets to me....it's not.......it's the feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
I thought teaching would be easy. I figured, I'm a smart guy, and I can relate to the kids, so how hard could it be? I was a fool. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in life. More difficult than acting, more difficult than canvassing, more difficult than finding money to stock up on cigarettes at all times in college.
I don't know what I'm going to do....I just hope something changes in my situation right quick. I can't wait two to six months for my cousin to find me a job with him. I feel like I'm cracking up.