Grab My Hair, Will Ya!

As a woman I love to run my hands around the back of the neck of my guy, and to run my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. I find myself doing this naturally without a specific thought and even intentionally, it just feels good. I'll often grab a bit of hair, although short and hold it, giving me a feeling of control and dominance at the moment. I wonder about many of the sexual activities that comprise our sexuality and from where it comes.

While we were intimate and i was blowing him, my guy friend surprised me. He grabbed my long hair at the nape of my neck, taking a handful, like grabbing and holding me, and moving my head about. Oh, I noticed alright. It occurred as our passion deepened, him reaching the point of no return. The whole experience suddenly seemed more intense for me, I suppose for him as well.

I thought "hair pulling" only occurred in romance novels, and to have experienced it was interesting and ultimately exciting. It gave me that feeling in a way of being controlled by him, me being submissive to him.

QUESTION: So why is it that some men will grab a woman's hair during sex. Is it the tip of the iceburg or a hint for a desire for "rough sex". Do men pull a woman's hair unconsciously, or with intention? Or is it something that just happens during the heat of the moment? I'm curious what heterosexual men here who actually do it have to say about it, how they feel about it, why they do it, from where does it come? Do men do it with some women and not others? What do you think of hair pulling?

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FlowerChick

Comments

Well I haven't done that a lot. I do remember at least one time when we were doing doggy that I took her hair and pulled her head up while fucking her from behind. Why? I guess it gives me a sense of domination, like I control her or own her. Like she's mine to do as I please.
But again, that doesn't happen a lot for me.
 
I grab hair for any number of reasons. Sometimes it's heat of the moment. Other times it's definitely intentional. It all depends on the moment, and the woman. There's not much point in doing something she's not going to find arousing. Most of my gfs enjoyed it immensely, but it did nothing for a few of them.

The motivation comes from a number of places. I love running my fingers through a woman's hair in general, so that's often where it starts. During sex it makes for a great exclamation point when you feel the need to be emphatic. From behind or beneath it can be a great handle. During oral sex for either person it's a good indication you're doing something right.

A girlfriend from college used to apologize afterwards for grabbing my hair while I was going down on her. She felt embarrassed about being so wanton and losing control, but there were no complaints from me. I think there are a number of men and women who would like to try it, but are afraid of offending their partner in the process. So unfortunately, it ends up happening mainly in romance novels.
 
This is a great topic Flowerchick! Well, I can only speak for me. I am presently with a woman that I pull her hair a lot! I have not done it with other women, and another I was with was very much against it........because it hurt.

But for the one I am with now, it is a signal for rough sex. Or I pull it while we are already having rough sex. We play games, and often our games involve spanking (a lot of spanking) and hair pulling. I sometimes grab her by the hair and lead her into the bedroom. So it is a way to signal that I will be in charge and you will do exactly as I say. Often she misbehaves (usually on purpose...haha), because then the spankings start as a consequence.

Mind you, this is not for everyone. I would never really hurt her, and so the hair pulling is for fun and builds sexual tension and a signal for what is to cum.

So I gather you like hair pulling? Or are you just discovering it? Whichever, have fun. The biggest thing is explore and be open to new things. You never know what may be on the other side! :biggrin1:
 
Ive found myself multiple times doing exactly what you described. A majority of the time that i pull my girlfriends hair its just seems to happen automatically or instinctively. However, it rarely happens during rough sex, but more passionate and intense sex. But that's just me.
 
Wow, what great responses! Keep 'em coming.

I kind of liked it actually when he pulled my hair, it hurt a bit, probably because he didn't grab it as close to the nape and it was long, kind of straggly at the time, it was all over the place really. Thank God for hair clips and Bobby pins when you want them!

Well, I did get my requested facial as well, shortly after the hair pulling. I asked him for a "facial," not sure if he really wanted to do that, but in the end, oh yes, he admitted, sort of chuckled and said "I'd love to come on your face." We were both very satisfied, happy, giggly with those "I feel great" feelings.

Moments prior to this event, I got up and while he was standing looking in another direction, I also gave him a quick little slap on his butt. I think it surprised him. I was also pretending to be another person, sort of an alter ego in this particular encounter, did a few different things. I wonder if that may have opened the door for the hair pulling moments. In any event I believe from responses from men so far, our passion is pretty intense, seems to be escalating and into different things, which I really like. I'm not one for routine, boring, go through the motions to get to home plate, rather I like to take my time and savor the moments, and this was a first time occurence for me with him or anyone pulling my hair. Granted my hair is much longer than I've ever had it, always having shorter hair, but a man could get a hold of it if they really wanted to.

So here's to "great sex" and happy hair-pulling moments on our lives!

FlowerChick
 
You're spot-on with doing w/ some vs others. I've rarely done it w/ a hard pull. Sex with me is long and hard enough. What I like to do is more of a soft alpha male thing... passionate but firm. Yes, you get some hair in your fingers, but at the same time you may have the other hand on a nape or both controlling but almost in a soft/firm manner (think massage). Cowgirl position, eyes locked, you grab both sides, so rather by her ass, or shoulders, or legs or arms, you control fucking her with that soft/firm head caress, then you can go back to slow and deep, and pull her lips to yours. Being dominant (to me at least) is a matter of not being an asshole, being 100% confident, and frankly, be willing to give up control. Payback is bitch, a fun one... unless she has really short hair :p

Shooting some of my cum into great hair, although fetishtic, is fun.
 
<<<...But for the one I am with now, it is a signal for rough sex....

<<<I sometimes grab her by the hair and lead her into the bedroom. So it is a way to signal that I will be in charge and you will do exactly as I say.>>>


Oh. "caveman style," now that sounds like fun. I think I may surprise him for Halloween and invest in a "Cave Girl" costume, get a bone necklace and a big stick of sorts. Do you think he'll get the idea... similar to dragging me to his lair, an invitation to rough sex, his bedroom, like you describe? I think that would be so hot, definite turn-on. I've "controlled" so many things in my life, from earning a living, to how I spend my time and with whom, and often as well in the bedroom. I want to "give up" the control in a way, not to have things "out of control" or chaotic but rather knowing i'm allowing him to take charge, and just going with it, albeit allowing myself to be "submissive" I suppose is still in effect controlling myself, manipulating the situation for an intended purpose. I suppose it's more perception and feeling of who is in control that is the "REAL" turn-on for me.

FlowerChick
 
I've "controlled" so many things in my life, from earning a living, to how I spend my time and with whom, and often as well in the bedroom. I want to "give up" the control in a way, not to have things "out of control" or chaotic but rather knowing i'm allowing him to take charge, and just going with it, albeit allowing myself to be "submissive" I suppose is still in effect controlling myself, manipulating the situation for an intended purpose. I suppose it's more perception and feeling of who is in control that is the "REAL" turn-on for me.

In the end the submissive has to give permission for anyone to be dominant. I think there are many women who are on top of things in day to day life who would love to relinquish it when it comes to sex. The "alpha" female looking for an "alpha" male to take charge of her sexually when the mood strikes her. Letting go can be the best aphrodisiac.
 

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