Great Britain

It is rather curious, is it not, to consider that the United Kingdom is a place that has produced the likes of Freddie Pearson, Dan Tai, Tom Daley, Ewan MacGregor, Hugo Mayhew, William Goodge, Russell Tovey, Idris Elba, Edward Westwick, Clive Owen, Robert Pattinson, Jude Law, David Beckham, Henry Cavil, and going classic, the legendarily handsome - albeit misogynistic - Sean Connery, and then the most handsome of all men, anywhere, ever; Carey Grant.

And then there’s just like...the rest of Britain. Except perhaps Scotland; they seem to have a higher hit rate.

But generally speaking, the translation of the American standard of a hotness scale is strange indeed.

It’s like a British 10/10 is an American 17/10 but a British 9/10 is an American 6/10.

This is, of course, an unforgivably shallow observation. But it does map strangely to so many other US to UK comparisons. In so many ways, the UK is simultaneously far superior to, and yet miles behind the United States.

Americans are more racist and less progressive, but the British are generally less aware their racism, and - for all their social advances - they still have a monarchy, and while the US might be an imperialist, militaristic international bully, well, we learned it from watching you, dad (in this scenario, “dad” is the UK. Look at a map of the world any time between 1700 and about 1950. The British Empire was most of it.)

But, I digress.

A toast, gentlemen;

To British Twunks.

Here, here!

*Land of Hope and Glory plays solemnly over the wireless in the drawing room of a Tudor country house as all the occupants - in either morning dress or Harris tweed - raise their glasses to portraits adorning the wall; Queen Elizabeth II, Tom Daley, Jamie Bell, and Tom Holland*

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