Gut feelings

Just what is a gut feeling? I mean, I know what it is technically, but where does it come from? How does it "know" things?

A friend told me when in doubt, trust my gut. I'm a gamer and accept certain...abnormalities about life. The phenonmenon of having a way to tell how something is without actually knowing is possible to me, but I don't know how much I'd normally pay attention to it. Anyway, my gut. There are a couple situations both personal and professional that I'm not sure where things are going. My "gut" tells me something, but it doesn't fit with the pieces of the puzzle I have.

The gut feeling. Kind of like the "I have a bad feeling about this" kinda thing. The world we live in is amazing. While I'm not always happy in it, I can appreciate the vastness that we call existence.

What do I care about? That's been something that's been the topic of many therapy sessions. My therapist got me too caring at a point. That night in September was supposed to piss me off, not upset me. I don't like being upset. I've managed to recover enough to the point where I'm not frigid to things, but there will be no more crying spells. That got old very quick. All over a relationship that I don't want.

Ok then. What DO I want? How come everything always comes back to why am I staying?

Oh yeah...I know why. No more rejection. I used to take it so well. Now, not so much. I think that's a mechanism of growing older. Even if the bf's cheated, he still has feelings for me. I mean, the Xbox 360 is not a cheap thing to buy for someone that you don't really care if they are around. I have stability here. You know, I've not truly been out on my own? I've been on the streets, but while I was there, I hooked up with other street kids and survived that way. Yup, it seems no matter where I go or what I do, I manage to make contacts so that life will be easier. I've never truly dove into the world without some sort of safety net.

I'm scared of failing. I don't think too many people aren't. Some just handle it better than others. I'm not used to being afraid of things, so when I am, it's tragic. Just watch what happens the next time I have to fly. Anyway...I can't say I've been truly on my own. I've gone from one net to another. Now, as I become more discontent with my life, I find myself wanting to do something more.

The "mid life crisis" phenonmenon. If such a thing exists, mine started when I was 33. I became disillusioned at my life, my friends, my job...every facet of my life. I wanted something different. Something more...interesting if have to use a word.

A few years ago, we went to VA Beach. I had a great time down there. When it came time to leave, I decided I wasn't going to. While my friend was out getting his last stuff, I was making calls to my fraternity to see if I could stay with them until I got on my feet. When he came back and said let's go, I didn't move. He looked at me and said, "You're not coming, are you?" I answered, "No." He then called every friend of mine he could get ahold of to try and convince me to come back to my life. It took over a hour to convince me to come back. Now, I'll never know.

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They weren't fun, that's for sure.

But, through it all, I'm still here. For better or for worse.
 
I don't know where gut feelings come from, but I always trust them, and they're always right... some people call it a 6th sense, some call it guardian angels, and I've heard some people go so far as to say that it's God talking to you. I'm not even going to try to speculate... I just know that my gut is the most consistently correct thing about me. :tongue:
 

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Kimahri
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