Guy problems....

I swear guys are so damn complicated. I've decided that this summer I would rely mostly on my vibrator. While I was at school I had a fuck buddy and we've hooked up a few times this summer. No big deal. Everything was cool because I feel as though all my relationships are too complicated so this friends with benefits situation was ideal. Everything has been fine for the last yr. I let him know from the start what my boundaries were. I DON'T GIVE HEAD. Also, I told him I dont want him to finger me or give me head. Its not that I will feel obligated once he does....its just just that it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel bad either...just neutral i guess. I gave in and he tried both once and like i said nothing. The sex is great but he cums too fast for me. I tell him to try and hold out as long as he can and he does but there are times where that might only be 5 minutes. He often jokes around that he might need Viagra. In June we had been fuck buddies for 10 months. After months of trying to persuade me to give him oral sex I did. And it was fine. I was expecting his penis to taste bitter or something but it tasted like nothing. I did it twice (the last 2 times). At times I am lazy and i dont like to get on top (though I have) but he REALLY likes doggy style so thats what we do the most. He says he likes the sound of "pounding ass" or whatever. Lately he's been asking more from our fuck buddy agreement. He wants us to cuddle alot and stuff. I dont mind that though. I've basically done everything I said I wouldnt do. Everything seemed fine but I have a small problem though. I'm embarrassed to have an orgasm with him. I did it twice and I felt quite embarrassed so the last time we had sex I told him to stop. Friday we was talking about it and he got mad. Then he blurs out that i'm not even that great im bed and that i'm selfish. I was instantly furious. How fucking dare he! If i'm not that good in bed why is it that he can cum almost instantly after putting it in my pussy. He then said that how fast he cums has nothing to do with it. I think so! And then i'm selfish? Was i selfish when I was sucking your dick? I think not! I'll always be his friend but the first thing we said when we decided to be fuck buddies is that we'll tell each other how we feel. When he was cuming too fast I told him but I don't appreciate what he said to me under anger. I think i need to just move on and that we just go back to being friends for good. I must admit that fucking him was convenient over the school yr. For now i'm sticking to only my vibrator. So, does anybody have any advice or been in a situation similar to mine?

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I swear guys are so damn complicated. While I was at school I had a fuck buddy and we've hooked up a few times this summer. No big deal. Everything was cool because I feel as though all my relationships are too complicated so this friends with benefits situation was ideal. Everything has been fine for the last yr. I let him know from the start what my boundaries were. I DON'T GIVE HEAD. Also, I told him I dont want him to finger me or give me head. Its not that I will feel obligated once he does....its just just that it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel bad either...just neutral i guess.

The sex is great but he cums too fast for me. I tell him to try and hold out as long as he can and he does but there are times where that might only be 5 minutes. He often jokes around that he might need Viagra. In June we had been fuck buddies for 10 months. After months of trying to persuade me to give him oral sex I did. And it was fine. I was expecting his penis to taste bitter or something but it tasted like nothing. I did it twice (the last 2 times). At times I am lazy and i dont like to get on top (though I have) but he REALLY likes doggy style so thats what we do the most. He says he likes the sound of "pounding ass" or whatever. Lately he's been asking more from our fuck buddy agreement. He wants us to cuddle alot and stuff. I dont mind that though. I've basically done everything I said I wouldnt do. Everything seemed fine but I have a small problem though. I'm embarrassed to have an orgasm with him. I did it twice and I felt quite embarrassed so the last time we had sex I told him to stop. Friday we was talking about it and he got mad. Then he blurs out that i'm not even that great im bed and that i'm selfish. I was instantly furious. How fucking dare he! If i'm not that good in bed why is it that he can cum almost instantly after putting it in my pussy. He then said that how fast he cums has nothing to do with it. I think so! And then i'm selfish? Was i selfish when I was sucking your dick? I think not! I'll always be his friend but the first thing we said when we decided to be fuck buddies is that we'll tell each other how we feel. When he was cuming too fast I told him but I don't appreciate what he said to me under anger. I think i need to just move on and that we just go back to being friends for good. I must admit that fucking him was convenient over the school yr. For now i'm sticking to only my vibrator. So, does anybody have any advice or been in a situation similar to mine?"--Rommette

Maybe it is not the men that are complicated. Maybe it is both men and women that are complicated. The world is simple and it is the people that make it complicated.

It seems that you aren't comfortable with men. You aren't too comfortable with yourself. <==That is where you have to start. You try to control things...and you have to be comfortable with yourself...your body...and your emotions. You don't like losing control when you have your orgasms. You have to learn to let go.

Have you noticed that people like to criticize a lot? America didn't use to be so critical. Nowadays it's supposed to be a good thing to be critical. We have American Idol. :rolleyes:

Being critical in bedtime affairs will stifle your partner's sexual desire. So, you may have to cross-stitch a sampler, frame it, and hang it over your bed that says..."ANYTIME YOU HARSHLY CRITICIZE, YOU MAY NOT EVER GET IN BETWEEN THESE THIGHS."
 
sweetie, he's a boy.... he's probably more complicated than a vibrator... he is definitely much less complicated than you.

learn to like yourself. learn to enjoy yourself. stick with the vibrator until the first two goals have been accomplished.

what MickeyLee has learned about sex with boys:
boys will ejaculate/cum without really enjoying it. i mean they have wet dreams, apparently balls are very demanding and will take charge of a backed-up situation. to all the women patting themselves on the back with the ego buff of "well he came" well, doesn't mean it was a great orgasm.

with all the restrictions you placed on what you do, what he can do, how long he can do it.... i think the poor boy is just taking a short cut to nut-ville. consent and interest is not the females only obligation in sex. you are expected to be as giving, responsive and enthusiastic as your partner.

boys like being wanted. boys want to know you are horned up, raring to go, gagging for it.... not a mucky-bit pile up to save on batteries.

the boy is fine. he wanted to give you pleasure. he wanted to enjoy the sex you were having together.
 
I'm not selfish...im sorta embarrassed. R u selfish for wearing clothes? You dont want to show your body to us
 
umm you so missed Mr. Pieterjoke's gallery, huh? if we are gauging selflessness on a lack of clothing.... Mr. Pieterjoke hit sainthood during his third week on LPSG :yup:

a couple nekkid pictures and old italian ladies will be wearing medals of St Pieter around their necks. tru fax.
 
Welcome to the real world.
You are experiencing some sexual incompatibilities with your sex partner.
Guys are not that complicated.
I would say from your post that he wants more than he is getting and is frustrated. That frustration expresses itself with him getting angry and saying nasty things in an effort (probably unsuccessful) to try to get you to give him more of what he wants.
He wants head.
He actually wants to feel more intimate with you (the cuddling stuff)
He may be developing feelings - sometimes hard to keep sex separate from emotions.

You want more than 5 minutes.

Neither of you know how to communicate without insulting or angering the other.
Most men don't like being told they are a lousy lay and are not satisfying a woman. Even if they are a lousy lay. Especially if they are a lousy lay. The truth hurts. He knows he should last more than 5 minutes but does not want you to tell him that. Until he starts listening it is not going to get any better.
And are you listening?
He wants stuff you are not giving him.

And you are naked and having sex. How is an orgasm embarrassing?
Enjoy yourself, Please!

Options:
1.) Communicate and try to improve the situation.
There are numbing gels he could use to prolong his erection time.
2.) Set your rules and expect most of the same.
No head. Stick it in. Try to last 10 minutes
3.) You have a nice relationship with your vibrator and he becomes very friendly with his hand.

Suggestions?
You could try an older guy who could last over an hour and be so grateful for sex that he would not complain about anything.
I think I know of someone who fits that description.
:wink:
 
I think it is hard for both of us at times to seperate sex from emotions. There was 1 time we actually had a very good sex session that lasted a very long time and after i left his place I felt strong feelings for him. A few days later he asked me how i felt and i told him fine and then he told me he felt a little emotionally attached and i then admitted the same. I think it was just the good sex.

I told him nicely that i wanted him to last longer. He started by asking me if he was too small and i told him no.

As far as the options...i told him to find someone who is better in bed. He doesn't want any numbing gels. He has never used his hand in his life. He doesnt want to either.

And oh yeah Pitbull, I got your suggestion...lol
 
I think it is hard for most people to separate our emotions from sex - especially if it with the same person over a period of time that you interact with in other ways. Nothing wrong there. You are just both normal.

Funny - can't do too much about size and he worries about that. Could do things to last longer but he is to stubborn to correct that situation.

Never used his hand in his life and doesn't want to. Well, none of us want to. But if he keeps it up with this attitude and not trying to listen to the women on how to please them, it may be his only date for Saturday night.

And you figured out my suggestion. I knew you would.
But "lol"! Really.
You were supposed to go "Hmmm...:rolleyes:"
 
pieterjoke;bt17028 said:
You can't call yourself not selfish if you don't want to show your orgasm with him
I agree 100%! I don't get why she would be embarassed to orgasm with him? :confused: Heck you're already nekkid as a jaybird, what could be more embarassing than that?
 
I just feel as though an orgasm is embarassing. I dont want him to see me when I have one....im not sure why
 
Rommette;bt17078 said:
I just feel as though an orgasm is embarassing. I dont want him to see me when I have one....im not sure why
I don't think you are either selfish or frigid for feeling this way.

Is it just this person or any man that you might be with?

Would it help to tell you that the whole point about sex is to have pleasure and give pleasure?
 
i have a woman friend who surprised me that she would suck a guy's cock that she was into. swallow his cum too if it wasn't too big of a load. anyways i can tell her, talk to her and not feel judged by my comments. to say that i am very comfortable around her is an understatement. but she is not into me and i am trying to be friends with her just because she is a friend for now.
 
its every guy ive been with. I've never had an orgasm with a guy while his dick was in. I've only had an orgasm twice when he was sucking my tits. I have a problem where real dicks cant make me cum but a vibrator sure can. Thats another issue.
 
"I have a problem where real dicks cant make me cum but a vibrator sure can." You have become mentally dependent upon your vibrator for orgasms. You said you get embarrassed, that is something your gonna have to overcome, be proud of youor sexual skills, you are a women and sexually fierce. Share that with a man. Yousay you don't give head? Why not, when I give head to a man, I show my enthusiasm and thank him when I am done for "letting" me suck his cock. They really love that, someone who enjoys giving them pleasure. you really need to learn how to let your inhabitians go.
 
well you need to know that you will probably never meet one guy in your entire life that will care how loud you are when you orgasm so you should work on not being embarrassed what he will think. and secondly, what kind of a woman doesn't suck cock?

you might want to learn because if you don't your guy will be that much more likely to find a woman who will. i know i would.
 
I swear guys are so damn complicated. I've decided that this summer I would rely mostly on my vibrator. While I was at school I had a fuck buddy and we've hooked up a few times this summer. No big deal. Everything was cool because I feel as though all my relationships are too complicated so this friends with benefits situation was ideal. Everything has been fine for the last yr. I let him know from the start what my boundaries were. I DON'T GIVE HEAD. Also, I told him I dont want him to finger me or give me head. Its not that I will feel obligated once he does....its just just that it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel bad either...just neutral i guess. I gave in and he tried both once and like i said nothing. The sex is great but he cums too fast for me. I tell him to try and hold out as long as he can and he does but there are times where that might only be 5 minutes. He often jokes around that he might need Viagra. In June we had been fuck buddies for 10 months. After months of trying to persuade me to give him oral sex I did. And it was fine. I was expecting his penis to taste bitter or something but it tasted like nothing. I did it twice (the last 2 times). At times I am lazy and i dont like to get on top (though I have) but he REALLY likes doggy style so thats what we do the most. He says he likes the sound of "pounding ass" or whatever. Lately he's been asking more from our fuck buddy agreement. He wants us to cuddle alot and stuff. I dont mind that though. I've basically done everything I said I wouldnt do. Everything seemed fine but I have a small problem though. I'm embarrassed to have an orgasm with him. I did it twice and I felt quite embarrassed so the last time we had sex I told him to stop. Friday we was talking about it and he got mad. Then he blurs out that i'm not even that great im bed and that i'm selfish. I was instantly furious. How fucking dare he! If i'm not that good in bed why is it that he can cum almost instantly after putting it in my pussy. He then said that how fast he cums has nothing to do with it. I think so! And then i'm selfish? Was i selfish when I was sucking your dick? I think not! I'll always be his friend but the first thing we said when we decided to be fuck buddies is that we'll tell each other how we feel. When he was cuming too fast I told him but I don't appreciate what he said to me under anger. I think i need to just move on and that we just go back to being friends for good. I must admit that fucking him was convenient over the school yr. For now i'm sticking to only my vibrator. So, does anybody have any advice or been in a situation similar to mine?

seems like the male isn't the only complicated one
 

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