How do you forget about someone?

There is this person that is on my mind constantly... and I need him to go away. I try to occupy myself so I don't think about him, but I do anyway. He's always in the background of my mind... I dream about him, too. I try to avoid him in public. If he says hi, I say hi back but I don't make eye contact... but other than that, we don't speak. I want so badly to not ever think of him again. The dreams are the worst part. I'm not a lucid dreamer, I can't control my dreams. But I've dreamt about this guy almost every night I think in the past couple months. I wake up thinking about him. I don't always remember the dreams, but I know he was there. Last night, I dreamt that I was in WalMart with a friend of mine going shopping, and I saw him and his roommates there, so I immediately ducked behind an aisle and tried to avoid him, but he saw me and kept coming to look for me, no matter where in the store I was. As soon as I thought I was safe, he'd pop his head around the corner and say hi, so I'd run the other way.

I need to get this guy off my mind. :frown1:

Comments

I have to preface this with the warning that this is possibly the worst advice - but it is what works for me. The only thing that has ever gotten someone out of my mind when I've been hung up like that is to transfer my affections elsewhere. It's not the healthy way of doing it. It is not the best way of doing it. BTW, I don't mean a rebound relationship.
It's happened about 3 or 4 times in my life that I've been hung up on a guy that didn't want a serious relationship, or any relationship in one case, and really the feeling you describe didn't go away til there was someone else to occupy that part of my mind. Of course, you may be a different breed of animal (if you'll forgive the expression) and the person to whom you transfer your affections can't be just anyone and it isn't so much a process of conscious thought as something that just happens. But hey, you asked and that's what has worked for me in the past.
The other answer is of course - time. Time and reminding yourself that he isn't worth the processor time you are giving him.
I hope you can hit 'delete' on him soon, Meg.
 
What you've done is created a life in your own mind that includes this guy. The way to change that is to....change your life! And I don't mean in drastic, expensive ways. Buy a new dress, visit a new place, change your daily routine, read some books you wouldn't ordinarily read. Create a new daily life that does NOT include this guy in it. Sometimes that can be as simple as eating in some new restaurants or finding new friends. Eventually, his influence will diminish and life will go on without him.

The other alternative would be to travel to NYC and make passionate love to me for days and days! But, then, I will not be able to get YOU out of MY mind...so, maybe that's not the best solution.
 
Time. I don't know a healthier way to forget someone. It won't be tomorrow or next week but one day you'll wake up, go through your day, and realise you haven't thought about him all day.
 
Let him go. If he comes back, get a restraining order. If that fails, shoot him someplace tender and stab him with a meat fork. Eventually, he'll get the message.

Any particular reason for avoiding this fella?
 
That's a hard one. I went to therapy. I was doing great, then my therapst left the profession and I never really got transfered, so now I worry all the time.
 
Well you know the saying, if you love something set it free, if it doesnt come back to you, hunt it down and kill it.
Or to forget about him, you can always try drinking heavily....LOL.
Why do you want to forget about him? Did he give you an STD, does he have a small "johnson"?
 
I want to forget about him because thinking about him is fucking annoying. I have a crush on him. The biggest crush I've had in years. I don't want to like him anymore.
 
I have a new object of my affection that is not my bf. I don't think about him constantly, but he's on my mind a lot. It's never easy to get someone you like out of your mind. You just have to consciously think about other things. Thinking about "him" is not going to go away anytime soon.
 
You have to either get a new crush or find out something awful about him so that you don't like him anymore. So have your friends ask around or something.

What is the most reprehensible thing a man could do? Imagine him doing that. What if you found out he got his high school sweetheart pregnant and made her get an abortion and paid for it with a check which bounced.
 
I'm a horrible person because I totally could not help but laugh at your comment njgt466..... That being said....

Honestly, ask a friend to set you up with someone. That or maybe try dating a friend even. Just for fun of course, not for a serious relationship. Just having fun and being happy to have your mind on something else for a while. This will help you heal whatever it is you need to get over. Don't look for a long term relationship though, just a few dates, some good food and conversation. Some comforting if you need it, but only if you feel up to it. Don't just go throwing yourself at people obviously, but don't just wait for the guy you want to marry either.
 
Surround yourself with new people, take a course, gym class or join a club.
Before you know it someone else will catch your fancy. :)
 

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