How to focus deeply

All wisdom traditions agree that there is immense power in learning to focus deeply. Some traditions encourage people to learn to focus through meditation, contemplation, or prayer, but not everyone is interested in these kinds of methods. In the Path of Eros, we encourage people to learn to focus deeply by using practices they already do, such as working out, cock training, self-pleasure, or intimate union with others. After all, the most effective practices are ones that we are genuinely interested in, and don’t feel like a burden.

The great majority of the time, we are much less focused than we realize. Even if we’re focused on doing one particular task, our attention might dart back and forth between many different things, such as all the thoughts and images that flash through our mind, bodily sensations, emotions, things we hear, smell, taste, etc. (That’s why Buddhism calls our ordinary way of being the ‘monkey mind’, because our attention naturally wanders all over the place.)

The first step in learning to focus deeply is to choose a practice to focus on, such as a particular exercise while working out or doing cock training, self-pleasuring, or looking at an inspirational or arousing image. Intimate union is more complex, and not ideal for beginners to practice focusing with.

The second step is to focus on one particular aspect of that activity. For example, if our chosen activity is doing pushups, we might usually have our attention be divided between counting the reps, paying attention to the sensations in our pecs or other muscles, noticing things around us or things we hear, thinking about things, criticizing ourselves or praising ourselves, or countless other things — that’s divided or scattered attention. Instead, choose one particular aspect of the activity, ideally the sensations in the body part being worked.

The third step is to do the chosen activity, paying attention to the chosen aspect. If working out, we should use light weights when starting out, so we can pay as deep attention as possible. If our attention wanders, we can return our attention to our focus as gently as possible, with as much love and compassion for ourselves as we can muster. After all, it’s only natural for our attention to wander — it happens to everyone, much more frequently than we usually notice, and that’s the entire reason we practice.

The fourth step is to reflect on how it went. Did you notice anything about yourself, your mind, or what you experienced?

The point of these practice sessions is to take this increased ability to focus into our daily lives.

Any time we realize we are distracted or unfocused, or are focused on something unhelpful (like worrying about the news, acting unconsciously, doing addictive behaviors, etc.), we can remember to gently return to our focus, with as much love and compassion for ourselves as we can muster. The goal is to develop a kind of ‘relaxed focus’: rather than trying intensely hard, or forcing ourselves to concentrate, eventually we can focus with a minimum of effort, like a ship that knows how to keep sailing in the direction we’ve pointed it in.

In practical terms, it can be extremely difficult to remember to focus when we’re in a difficult situation, under a lot of stress, or busy with our daily lives. That’s why many traditions encourage people to wear something that can frequently remind them of their connection to something deeper than the ordinary, such as Christians wearing a cross, Jews wearing a star of David, Buddhists wearing prayer beads, monks wearing robes, Sikhs wearing a turban, etc.

In the Path of Eros, the cock ring often serves as this kind of reminder of our ability to focus, and our connection with a deep source of power. (If anyone wonders why we’re wearing a cock ring in a gym lock room, at the beach, traveling through airport security, or anywhere else, once we’re able to do those things again, we can just say it’s part of our spiritual practice — the Path of Eros is no less powerful a vehicle for personal development than any of the more well-known wisdom traditions.)

Over time and many repeated sessions, people often start to experience things in a lot more detail, like finding entire universes of sensations where before they just noticed a single point of information. This is related to going from the ordinary level of awareness (i.e. the ‘gross’ level of awareness), to the subtle level of awareness. Eventually, we may become able to focus on one thing for a longer time without wavering, i.e. single-pointed focus.

After that, the next steps are to practice broadening out into all-over focus, i.e. what’s sometimes called ‘non-duality’ or ‘witness consciousness’. That is a longer discussion, but a brief pointer is a quote from Osho: “You are the watcher, not the doer - that is the key to meditation.”

After that, further practice can lead to awakening our primal energy, aka our ‘kundalini energy’, and raising that up our spine through the various energy centers to the crown of the head, in a process that can take years, or can happen in an instant. The crown of the head is the gateway to awakening experiences, also known as satori, moksha, transcendence, illumination, and many other names. Again, that’s a much longer discussion.

Let me know if you are interested in more details about any part of this process.

Comments

:cool:Amazing, uplifting reminder of the journey ... :idea:very timely for me!
I've struggled these past few weeks adjusting to new reality constraints, and questioning my personal responsiveness. I only managed to maintain minimal daily maintenance routines, and procrastinated on pursuit of other efforts. I began to question my reasoning for wearing glans rings every day:confused:.

:sun:In the Path of Eros, the cock ring often serves as this kind of reminder of our ability to focus, and our connection with a deep source of power. (If anyone wonders why we’re wearing a cock ring in a gym lock room, at the beach, traveling through airport security, or anywhere else, once we’re able to do those things again, we can just say it’s part of our spiritual practice — the Path of Eros is no less powerful a vehicle for personal development than any of the more well-known wisdom traditions.):grinning:

Many thanks for the assistance in discovering my talisman. I've got a reminder to continue the journey, and no longer need to search for random justifications for my habit.
 
Absolutely! I'm so glad you get it, and this was a timely reminder for you. Wearing a glans ring, cock ring, or anything else doesn't have to be about showing off for anyone else, it can be an anchor that helps keep us grounded, centered, and focused. The more connected with are with our power and beauty (which we all have, no matter what we look like or how we feel about ourselves), the more effective we can be in our lives, even if that means just keeping going during challenging times. Keep up the good work!
 
Great post (as always). It is clear that focussing is an important part of meditation, but isn't necessarily the point of meditation. Focussing is a tool that then allows amazing things to happen.
I have advanced enough in my yoga practice to allow muscle memory to take over and guide me into positions, which then frees me up to focus on breath and subtle body movements and positions. This brings benefits way beyond just holding the position or calm breathing. It takes the mind to another plane. I could also talk about the admiring glances as folks walk past wondering how a 59 yo man can do that with his body - but that's another conversation.
Focussing is also the reason i don't (didn't) go to gym with a gym buddy. Conversation and company at the gym is a distraction that takes me out of focus. And lord knows there's enough distraction at the gym already.
In daily life there are plenty of opportunities for focussing, particularly if there is waiting involved; waiting for the kettle to boil, waiting for the elevator, waiting in a queue, waiting at the traffic lights, waiting for him to get the lube. All excellent chances to practice. namaste
 
Thank you so much. It was very interesting to read. I relate to your way of thinking. I never put it in words but after reading, I can definitely say that I use those practices.
 
I awoke twelve hours ago, and became busy without utilizing my talisman. I managed to proceed helter/skelter to this hour managing to evade physical conditioning:(. Fortunately, I received an alert to this blog, and I will focus my next five hours on penis enhancement:). After edging until slumber oblivion, upon awakening I'm confident that I'll remember my daily glans ring talisman tomorrow:D.
 

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