I am a crone.

I am a crone.

This horrible realization struck me right between the eyes, Saturday afternoon and was reinforced Saturday night in chat.

One of the arms broke on my glasses Thursday morning and I was able to superglue it back together. Obviously, it was time for a new pair, so Saturday afternoon I trot down to the Wal-Mart Vision Center to get a replacement pair of glasses. It had been over a year since my last eye exam so they gave me a very thorough exam. Now I had noticed some changes in my vision; but I attributed it to spending so much time on LPSG. :biggrin1: No, it was not computer eye strain. I was told, I need progressive bifocals!

My 77 yr. old mom wears bifocals. I am only 41, I should not need bi-focals. Bifocals are for old people and I am not old! Did I mention I have astigmatism and a lazy eye, in addition to being incredibly nearsighted? This one pair of glasses, with frames, that I am not crazy about cost me $414. So, in addition to being old I have to pay for the privilege.

When you have to wear bifocals the cute, small, trendy frames are out because the lense has to be large enough to fit your prescription. grrrr My mom kept pushing me towards the matronly Sophia Loren collection. I refused to even touch them.

Later that night I am chatting with hotrocker982. Sweet guy, very smart and a heck of a cock.:wink: I knew we were from the same area in New Jersey and that he now lived in Georgia; but I almost had a heart attack when he said where his dad went to high school and when he graduated. That's right folks , this old crone was flirting with the son of a man with whom I attended high school. :eek: Can you say dirty old woman? I felt like such a perv. :redface: He wasn't exactly calm about this either. He ran to check his dads yearbook and fortunately he had confused his fathers college and high school graduation dates!

His dad and I did go to the same high school; but I graduated in 1984 and his dad graduated in 1979. So we were not there at the same time.
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For the opticians among you or those who are just plain nosey, my left eye is a -6.50 and my right eye is a -4.00

Comments

What is it you need to see so badly, my eyesight is terrible and I manage fine, it's like wearing rose tinted glasses, everything further away than 18 inches is sort of slightly out of focus, it's like a love scene in a romance film :)
 
I haven't had my eyes tested for over 20 years.I know I ought to go.I don't have any trouble reading text on websites but newspaper print can be a bit of a strain sometimes.
I'm older than you.You're a long way from being a crone and you know it!
 
My mother defines a crone as this;
Acrone is a wisened woman,with many helpful skills,able to comfort those in need,heal others,and make men/women fall in love with them.
Ok this my description based on my mother!
But she says a crone, is a respected woman,with many skills.
What's wrong with that?
cigarbabe:saevil:
 
Gah! You can thank God that you don't live up the road from me...

I'd fetch you, drag your sorry ass to clothing store and buy you outfits that would make your nieces blush (hehehehehe), take you to the salon for a make over and walk all over town with you. THEN we'll see who's a crone and who's making men do a double take! Best part is we can both check them studlies out. :wink:

We are all different QT and some parts of us age faster than it would with other people, we all have genetic weaknesses etc. No biggie. Seriously.

...and if you don't take my word for it, challenge me...I can PROVE to you that I know what I'm talking about on this one! :tongue: It's what's in the heart that affects the rest of us...and you don't strike me as a crone!
 
LOL The funniest part of your post was that you gave your eyeglass prescription! Somewhere, there is an optician in love!
 
My father was an optician for 30+ years, and I worked in his store for most of my teenage years. All I can say about your prescription is...

DEAR GOD!

Though I think I've seen worse. I think. :p
 
Girl don't stress...What about laser surgery? I want to do it but I think I will wait a bit to see if there are a rash of people suddenly going blind post op. But that left eye is a bit scary 6.5. Mine are both 4.00
 
Sweetheart,

You are not a crone. You have to be at least 50. Most women do not go through their croning ceremony until 60. It usually coincides with menopause. So you are good to go. Dont sweat it.
 
This is precisely the reason why I stopped chatting with people under the ripe old age of 28 or so. =)

And, the good new about growing older is that as time passes & medical advances are made, we'll all slowly become bionic. That's right! Right now, in fact, you could get what's called 'preflex' inplanted occular lenses right into your eye-socket and BINGO - no more bifocals needed. In a few years, these will come down in price and everyone'll have 'em. Replace your knees, get yourself a pacemaker, and who knows. You might live forever. =)
 
NJQT, I've had nearsightedness going thirty yrs in 2008, and trust me, it's still no more embarassing now than it was in '78. You are a far cry, if any from resembling a crone, FWIW. More dignified and sage with an elegant presence, but crone?
You are letting the holidays get to you too fast if you ask me. Don't beleive me? check this link and see if anything correlates- I doubt it.:wink:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/crone


I don't think this is you. For that matter, I've seen your pics, I know you're nowhere near this definition.:wink::biggrin1:
 
Posted 4 Hours Ago at 06:22 AM by SpoiledPrincess: What is it you need to see so badly, my eyesight is terrible and I manage fine, it's like wearing rose tinted glasses, everything further away than 18 inches is sort of slightly out of focus, it's like a love scene in a romance film :)
ROTFLMAO SP you are so dear to me! I only wish my young suitors could see me in this lovely haze of pseudoblindness.

Posted 4 Hours Ago at 06:43 AM by Yorkie: I haven't had my eyes tested for over 20 years.I know I ought to go. I don't have any trouble reading text on websites but newspaper print can be a bit of a strain sometimes. I'm older than you. Yes, but you will become even more distinguished and dapper as you age. You're a long way from being a crone and you know it! I dunno, is it true that drinking the cum of men from York guarantees eternal youth?

Posted 3 Hours Ago at 07:37 AM by cigarbabe: My mother defines a crone as this; A crone is a wisened woman,with many helpful skills, able to comfort those in need, heal others, and make men/women fall in love with them. Ok this description is based on my mother! :smile: But she says a crone, is a respected woman, with many skills. What's wrong with that? cigarbabe Nothing, I guess. . .Damn! I hate it when you are right and I am wrong. :rolleyes:

Posted 3 Hours Ago at 07:43 AM by biguy2738: Gah! You can thank God that you don't live up the road from me...

I'd fetch you, drag your sorry ass to clothing store and buy you outfits that would make your nieces blush (hehehehehe), take you to the salon for a make over and walk all over town with you. THEN we'll see who's a crone and who's making men do a double take! Best part is we can both check them studlies out.

We are all different QT and some parts of us age faster than it would with other people, we all have genetic weaknesses etc. No biggie. Seriously.
...and if you don't take my word for it, challenge me...I can PROVE to you that I know what I'm talking about on this one! It's what's in the heart that affects the rest of us...and you don't strike me as a crone! Shopping? Did you say you would take me shopping? I’m sorry I didn’t hear anything else after that.

Posted 2 Hours Ago at 08:50 AM by nicenycdick: LOL The funniest part of your post was that you gave your eyeglass prescription! Somewhere, there is an optician in love! One can only hope! I knew if I didn’t include it people would be like, ‘so go with out' or 'get dime store reading glasses.’ I have tried those things they don’t work with my eyes.

Posted 1 Hour Ago at 09:06 AM by snoozan: My father was an optician for 30+ years, and I worked in his store for most of my teenage years. All I can say about your prescription is... DEAR GOD!
Though I think I've seen worse. I think. :-P hahaha ROTFLMAO! That is exactly why I included it. I knew in this knowledgeable group of people someone would fully comprehend just how bad my vision truly is.

Posted 1 Hour Ago at 09:10 AM by Big en: Girl don't stress...What about laser surgery? I want to do it but I think I will wait a bit to see if there are a rash of people suddenly going blind post op. But that left eye is a bit scary 6.5. Mine are both 4.00. I may stop being a wuss and do that. A few doctors have suggested it in the past but I am afraid of ending up with even worse vision!

Posted 1 Hour Ago at 09:26 AM by naughty: Sweetheart, You are not a crone. You have to be at least 50. Most women do not go through their croning ceremony until 60. It usually coincides with menopause. So you are good to go. Dont sweat it. There’s a ceremony? Do I get a new tiara? Can I register at Bergdorf-Goodman and Bloomingdale’s

Updated 1 Hour Ago at 09:52 AM by Osiris: You are so far from cronism. Little pervert church lady, maybe. HA! No red Kool-Aid and coconut cake for you young man. :tongue:

Posted 1 Hour Ago at 09:42 AM by dudepiston: This is precisely the reason why I stopped chatting with people under the ripe old age of 28 or so. =) LOL hahaha And, the good news about growing older is that as time passes & medical advances are made, we'll all slowly become bionic. That's right! Right now, in fact, you could get what's called 'preflex' implanted ocular lenses right into your eye-socket and BINGO - no more bifocals needed. In a few years, these will come down in price and everyone'll have 'em. Replace your knees, get yourself a pacemaker, and who knows. You might live forever. =) that is a very scary thought!:tongue:
 
What happened? What did I say wrong in my post? I thought I had flattered you enough to warrant a response, didn't I?:cry:
 
Shopping? Did you say you would take me shopping? I’m sorry I didn’t hear anything else after that.

Good grief...the hearing's going as well. Perhaps we ought to worry after all! :biggrin1:

You know what would be my most favourite part of the day? The chat that we'd have over lunch...I think that they'd end up having to kick us out. :eek::wink:
 
Posted 3 Hours Ago at 01:25 PM by MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK: NJQT, I've had nearsightedness going thirty yrs in 2008, and trust me, it's still no more embarassing now than it was in '78. Yes, but men always look sexy in glasses! Like Clark Kent. You are a far cry, if any from resembling a crone, FWIW. Thank you Chuck. More dignified and sage with an elegant presence, but crone? :kiss:
You are letting the holidays get to you too fast if you ask me. Don't beleive me? check this link and see if anything correlates- I doubt it.
I don't think this is you. For that matter, I've seen your pics, I know you're nowhere near this definition. Okay, okay, just for you I shall dial it back a notch.:tongue:
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Posted 3 Hours Ago at 01:33 PM by biguy2738Shopping? Did you say you would take me shopping? I’m sorry I didn’t hear anything else after that.
Good grief...the hearing's going as well. Perhaps we ought to worry after all! You know what would be my most favourite part of the day? The chat that we'd have over lunch...I think that they'd end up having to kick us out. Well it depends, will they kick us out if I suck your dick under the table? I think as long as the tablecloth is long enough and you don't start howling and flailing about like you normally do it should be okay. :wink::biggrin1:
 
I think maybe eyesight is getting worse as there's no survival disadvantage to having crap eyesight anymore... mine is more 'Monet' than 'romance'. Anyway, so you have a good excuse there.
x
 
I've had progressive bifocals since I turned 40. Take a look at my glasses (in my gallery pics - they are all face pics), and you will see that I wear fashionable frames. My eyes are even worse than yours. I have severe astigmatism and am farsighted. My eyesight is so severe that I can never be a candidate for refractive surgery (I was kinda hoping I was, but got my hopes dashed a long time ago). My eyesight has always been bad (I was nearly blind when I was 4 - my eyesight is actually better now than it was then), so I didn't feel crone-ish, but I did take a double take when I was prescribed bifocals for the first time. It also came the same year as turning 40, and having to have two surgeries, one for a life-threatening infection (neither surgery had anything to do with my eyes, though).
 
Posted 2 Hours Ago at 08:50 AM by nicenycdick: LOL The funniest part of your post was that you gave your eyeglass prescription! Somewhere, there is an optician in love!
Posted 1 Hour Ago at 09:06 AM by snoozan: My father was an optician for 30+ years, and I worked in his store for most of my teenage years. All I can say about your prescription is... DEAR GOD! Though I think I've seen worse. I think. :-P Did I mention my left eye is a lazy eye and I have poor night vision and depth perception in addition to routine astigmatism. :tongue: I had a job for 4 years where I drove cross country LMAO!

Fortunately, my vision has always been correctable to 20/20. I should say in the past, as it no longer is now. :frown1: Damned bifocals. I've worn glasses since the 5th grade; and I sometimes wear contact lenses.

The most annoying thing about my prescription is that I can never use the coupons to get the $99 glasses at Lens Crafters or Pearle Vision Center. They ususally cover scrips up to -3.00 or -3.5:mad:.
 
Tell me about it! I've always had to get the super-expensive prescription, and more than one optometrist has told me that I have the most difficult prescription they've ever seen. Yikes! And this from the age of FOUR, no less!

I've found that contact lenses don't really work that well for me. I can't see that much better with contacts than I can with the naked eye. And I'm not a candidate for refractive surgery because of the severity of my astigmatism and farsightedness. I'm curious as to what my prescription is now! So about the best I can do is to get fashionable and nice looking frames.
 
I'm going through the same thing...once we hit our 40's our eyes go...and our memory and...well I could go on but I'm in a foul mood so I'll spare you my pity-party. Have you read that book "What I Hate About My Neck"? We should share stories some time...lol.
 

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