I am a cuckold male

My ex-wife cheated on me and yes it hurt but it excited me sexually much, much more. It woke something primal in me. I'm pretty sure she knew I knew but didn't say anything. Neither did I. Anytime I didn't know where she was my mind said she was fucking some guy that I actually knew to embarrass me even more. I would masturbate imagining her blowing the fireman across the street. Or being gang fucked doggie style by the college guys down the road.

I think it was a game to her. See how far she could push me. I know I licked her at least twice after she had been with another man. Yes, she had his cum in her. She didn't say a word, let me do my thing. I felt shitty and embarrassed yet oh, so excited. I was eating another man's cum. Out of my wife. Oh, shit. Regular sex wasn't half as good as this second hand sex. Wtf? And this went on for 2 years. I don't even know if it was the same guy or different guys.

Why did I get so excited knowing another man was trespassing in my pussy, leaving his seed in my woman? I really, really wanted her to look me in the eye when I was going down on her and ask "Honey, do you enjoy the taste of other men in me?" so we could be open about it. And I could say "yes, I enjoy it" so she would do it even more and 'feed' me even more. After one of the rare times we fucked I worked my mouth down to her filled pussy. Began licking my cum out of her, much to her surprise and against her wishes. But I'm willing to bet that was the day that she recognized that I knew what was going on. What a ridiculous situation.

This whole situation was so weird. It is weird, isn't it? Or maybe it's just me that's weird. What is wrong with me? Damn.

But it was way more exciting than regular sex. I was conflicted about how feeling shitty, embarrassed and emasculated made me sexually excited, yet now I want to feel that way again. Often. So I want to find a gf who genuinely likes me and is nice to me in public. And has enough of a slut mentality to fuck other men, most of the time in front of me. I don't even care if I am allowed to have sex with my new gf. Well maybe once a month. As scary as it is I know I also want to be there when she fucks other guys. Watch. Masturbate. Taste. Damn.

If I'm not cuck material I don't know what I am. Well maybe I'm a little weird for liking this. It's a harmless kind of weird. Isn't it? Must be, other guys are like me. And I was very normal before this happened. But I don't want to be normal again. I like the idea that my sex life would consist of mostly licking my woman and masturbating. Besides, I love to masturbate. Edge myself for hours. I cum on myself and rub it in. Damn, I'm hopeless.

I composed an ad to post on craigslist. Didn't place it because this is a small city and I know a lot of people and they all think highly of me and I was afraid one of them would reply. The truth is I want to go downtown and scream out loud - "I want a gf who fucks other men. Apply here". I know I'd sound like I'm hopelessly wimpy. I can live with that. But what woman would want someone like me? A prostitute? An escort? Yes, I can see me kissing my escort wife as she leaves to take care of another customer. Damn. Damn.

Is there anyone nearby who understands what I'm looking for and might want to talk to me about this? Or talk me out of it? I'll talk to anyone. Nice girls, slutty girls, single girls, married girls, and especially the guys and gals who fuck anyone they can even if they have a bf or gf or spouse.

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And the more I think about other guys fucking my woman the more I imagine being submissive to him, too. It would scare the shit out of me but I know I would service him sexually, too, if he wanted. I admit it... I want to suck his cock... the same one that fucks my wife in front of me. And I want her to watch. And praise me for sucking him off. Ohmigawd. What the fuck is wrong with me?

It's the total emasculation I crave. Ceding any pretense of manhood to the whims of a 'real man' with a rock hard cock and the balls to tell me to my face that I am a pussy for letting him fuck my wife instead of objecting. Well, I am a pussy. I even imagine him fucking me, calling me his 'special cunt' and squirting his cum in my ass. Talk about being emasculated... walking around with another guys sperm deep in my ass. And sleeping with my wife who also has his cum inside her. Geezus, I so much want this. Damn.

I am so close to looking for a local guy to emasculate me like this, even without a woman in my life. Suck his cock like an obedient fag. Let him fuck me like some sort of street whore. Crossdress just because he tells me to. Wow, I'm such a fucking wimp.

I know... I know... that if a nice looking, slender caucasian male were to approach me with a plan to emasculate me he could almost certainly turn me into a sissy. After all, being a sissy is pretty much what I would be if I allow other men to fuck my girl. The idea inspires me to masturbate even as I type this.

So if you meet my idea of the right man and you're anywhere near me I welcome your contact. Have a plan for me, an idea of how you would use me. Be bold, be firm and be ready to do this. I need it, almost as much as I need a woman to cuck me. Crap, I am a total pussy. I have to accept that fact.

Comments

Contact me. I have a lifetime of experience with couples with hubs like you. I can tell you a great deal about all the stuff you fantasize about.
 
I can understand exactly how you feel. Many many years ago although I was not told that she wanted me to be a cuckold guy. When I had an accident which meant I was only able to fuck my ex occasionaly I told her that I was ok with her having other lovers.
Several times she told me she was going to go with whoever was the flavour of the month at that time.
I can remember that when she went with a guy called Dave he insisted that she met him wearing just a coat and to be naked underneath it. He would then take her to a hotel or back to his place to share her with some of his mates.
One weekend they went away for a long weekend in a caravan where she was fucked by several guy's. They all insisted that she was to remain naked from the time they arrived on the Friday until they left on the Tuesday.
She did this at least four or five times every year.
I know this was true because I insisted that she told me everything that went on. This went on for at least eight years before she left and went to live with another guy.
I guess that people would say that I was a wimp for not kicking her out for doing this. But even though I knew what she was doing I let her carry on because it made her happy to have so many lovers. Which also made me happy knowing that she was happy.
If I could change any of the past it would be to let her do it more often because when she came home with another guy's cum in her cunt I really loved eating her out and tasting their mixed cum.
 
Marriedinkansas and makimbaggy...It's good to hear from guys who know how I feel... makes me feel a little less lonely. The thing that surprise me, though, is how hard it is to find a woman to actually cuck me. You would think that there would be a herd of women who like the idea of having a dedicated man waiting for her at home. I'm not sure how common this is for cucks but I actually want to be with my woman most of the time. Serve her by being in the same house, if not the same room. I know my place, will perform my duties properly, and simply want to see the joy on her face and hear her moans as she is pleasured by another man.

Uncutpete, I would love to hear whatever you can tell me about all the feelings and secret admissions I mentioned in my blog.
 
Don't feel bad. I enjoyed eating another mans cum out of my wife, my wife and I both chose the men she would fuck. It was great
 

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