I am afraid to approach women

I wouldn't consider my dick to be gigantic but statistically speaking it's above average (some girls have said its even huge). One would think that having a big dick would be enough to get you laid but it's not. Far from it.

Fact of the matter is, I'm a bit socially awkward. I have lots of friends and am on my college's Hockey team so I do socialize and party a lot. I'm not the best looking guy around but I'll be damned if I'm not at least average (been called "hot" a few times too). But when women come along I get nervous and sometimes it shows.

I almost always never approach women because in the back of my mind I'm always afraid that they'll think I'm being a creep or a weirdo. I am so paranoid what women think of me that I never come up and talk to them.

I haven't had a girlfriend in over 5 years either. I also haven't had sex in over 6 months. This fear of approaching women is an irrational compulsion that I wish I could control.




Just felt like venting to whomever.
Thanks

-Jim

Comments

Good advice above ^. Remember that for many girls it's all about her, all about how she feels. (She may feel just as self-conscious as you but for different reasons, bad hair day, jeans to tight, hips too wide, etc.) So don't worry so much about how you feel, she may not even notice. That being said, she will notice if your grooming or cleanliness is poor. Dress one level better than you normally would for the occaision. Arrive a few minutes early not late. You don't need the latest car, but make sure you're vehicle is clean too. Pay attention to smells of any kind. Don't arrive drunk! (Hint: drink a little less than she does on the date to arrive safely at your destination... in any sense of the word!) Don't let your friends take over the conversation or monopolize your attention. Your buddies may be fun in the dorm, but your girl may not like them.

So fake it till you make it. Acting confident will make you seem confident to her at least. This is attractive, not pushy, just be sure you know the difference. Above all remember it's all about how she feels. So start by complimenting her or making her feel comfortable, then ask her about her day, or something innocent to get her talking about herself. This will make her relax and feel that you're interested. The most important thing now is to just listen! Add to the flow of the conversation by following her lead according to what she's just told you. (Don't set up your own agenda first but do find points of common interest).

You might make a friend, or she might express some physical attraction. Set up an opportunity for her to make this known to you by touching you, dancing with you or doing something together with you (say bowling or playing a game, or jogging or something else mildly physical - not watching a movie). Be sure that this is done in a venue she would deem as safe, i.e. public or in daylight or with other people around.

By now she might like you to meet her friends. This is a sign that she's not ashamed of being seen with you and wants to share more of her life/contacts with you. At this point you can start to share stuff like facebook profiles or other personal contact info.

From here on, it's up to you. Good luck.
 
Thanks noh8. Truth be told I could definitely use an upgrade in my wardrobe, perhaps that will give me a slight confidence boost.
 
And dressing well or at least a little nicer can boost your confidence a little and may make you feel a little better. Woman, from my own experiences, do pay attention to how men dress.

You may wanna "loose" the friends occasionally if you feel more self-conscious around women with them. You may also wanna "loose" her friends, since female friends tend to get in the way sometimes. At some point your gonna have to bite-the-bullet though, rejection be damned. Women (in general) will give little hints sometimes if they're interested, but few appear to really want to make the first move.
 
I think that most people psych themselves out when they feel that there's a lot at stake. So when we see someone who we think is REALLY attractive, we get the most nervous and awkward. The technique that has worked for me is to "practice" with people that don't quite ring my bell so hard.

I don't mean this to sound callous. I just mean that it's easier to approach someone and start a conversation and be social if that person isn't a 10 on your personal attractiveness scale. It's always good to make new friends, and it's a useful skill to be able to engage someone new in conversation -- I am NOT suggesting that you lead them to think you want to date them!

Anyway, I think this is a practical way to get over social awkwardness, because it lessens the risk. The risk is whether or not this stranger will smile and talk with you, maybe flirt a bit, or if they will run screaming from the room instead. :)

That's less pressure than talking to someone who you've already assessed as a 10, and whom you've already shagged in your mind, and dated in your fantasy, and fretted over your worthiness in the moments you hesitated.

Just my two cents...
 
Dude, the only way to get someone to be happy with being with you is to first be happy with yourself. Get into yourself. Become the "you" that you want to be. Become immersed in becoming that "you."

I have to disagree with women being greedy for attention. All attention isn't good attention. Mr. Right is who's attention they seek. They want the attention of the guy that's got his own personal projects going on, the guy who's self motivated in his own endeavors.

They become curious about you then. They'll ask their friends about you. Your name will float around coffee shops and dorm rooms. You'll learn about game in the process. Hopefully their friends think you're weird in some way. You may dubious, but this is a good thing. Let's face it, a woman's fantasy is as unreachable as the nearest star. And the younger they are, the farther that star is. Just ask'em who they really want to fuck. They'll probably say somebody like George Clooney, Denzel or some other ultra movie star. You ask a guy the same thing, he'll say a hot English teacher, the cashier at the 711, or one of his kid sister's girlfriends. Venus and Mars is so true. You become a loser when you obsess over being Mr. Right for them. It's hard enough trying to be Mr. Right for you, but that's a nearer star. Like they said in the Matrix, "Know Thyself." If you're clinging to compliments by miscellaneous people to give you a sense of worth, you have absolutely no sense of self.

Just one of the guys is never the guy for them. Forget about your sports team and parties and all that bullshit. Focus on the big picture. Being true to you will make you the man. This will get you noticed by women executives and all the well to do chicks. At that point, would you really even care about a drunk chick at a frat party?
 
Oh yeah, an eight inch cock isn't worth a hill of beans. If the size was that important, half of the guys in the hood would've married up. I've got over nine inches and women have never really come running out of the woodworks, well maybe a couple. They'll talk shit with their friends about a guy with small dick, I've been at the round table on a couple of those discussions, but they're not so ready divulge scoop on the mandingo in town.

I say go gay - for the best blowjobs anyway.
 

Blog entry information

Author
barely8
Read time
1 min read
Views
275
Comments
6
Last update

More entries in General

Share this entry