... when I got drunk in Seattle, and molested a Personal Trainer near Alaska Way. He was hot, cut, and way the fuck out of my league. But I grabbed his junk, and he gave me his number for a one-night stand sort of thing. I lost the number, because as hot as he was, it was not me.
... when I ended up hooking up with a guy I had a crush on in high school. I was 25 when we hooked up. It was not as good as I fantasized about as a teenager.
... when I was seeing this lieutenant in an ongoing relationship. Awkward was walking past him with my NCO, and having to salute him. Even more awkward was him telling me that one of my rank patches (PFC) got stuck to his uniform, and got found by another officer. Luckily, it was his buddy, otherwise the shitstorm that ensued could have been epic.
... when my NCO in the Training Room told me how he wanted to eat my ass. Not something that you expect from a man who, earlier that day, was telling everyone about professionalism in the office.
... when I made out with the Brigade EO/S6 NCOIC. Talking about flying under the radar when he came out to the field to visit me, because the EO can do no wrong in the eyes of anyone with rank. All sexual anything between he and I aside, he was still a kickass dude after it was all over, and I miss that guy.
... when I was a security guard at the casino I worked at. I can say I banged at least one guy from every department. That was the most Civilian Penis I've ever had in such a short time period.
... when boss at said casino told me that he kept the video of me getting tazered because of how loud I screamed. He told me that he wishes his wife would be that loud.
... when one of my ex-husbands kept hitting on this bartender in the most blatant fashion. He'd call her 'sweetheart' and 'honey' and 'sugar'. He never called me that shit. When he asked me if we could bring her home (Because he had this kick to where he was SURE he could turn me bi), I said 'Oh, sure. Why the fuck not? You don't have to worry about ME getting pissed off.' in the most obviously dripping in sarcasm tone I could muster, which believe me, is pretty fucking obvious to even the deaf.
So he and I get in the car, and she hops in the back seat, and I turn around and say 'GET!! The fuck out of my car!' He starts in, saying 'But you said she could come!'
Long story short, he gets kicked out of the car, too. Witness accounts stated he went back to her place. I didn't give a shit, especially when he came home 4 hours later smelling like sex, and trying to kiss me, then crying because I wouldn't let him touch me.
... when I took the virginity of a guy I went to church with. I had it for him for a while, and he actually WANTED to have sex with me! The enthusiasm in him, and every single thing he did to me (I was his test subject for all the sex rumors he's ever heard) made me about fall off the face of the planet.
... when I was "dating" this Air Force guy. I was still a virgin, and he didn't want the strain of taking it from me, but I did enjoy almost every day for 6 months of him about licking me to death, and he was fucking magnificent at it. Looking back on it, I would love to have another man whose self-given purpose is to spend a couple hours a day with his face between my legs.
... when I ended up hooking up with a guy I had a crush on in high school. I was 25 when we hooked up. It was not as good as I fantasized about as a teenager.
... when I was seeing this lieutenant in an ongoing relationship. Awkward was walking past him with my NCO, and having to salute him. Even more awkward was him telling me that one of my rank patches (PFC) got stuck to his uniform, and got found by another officer. Luckily, it was his buddy, otherwise the shitstorm that ensued could have been epic.
... when my NCO in the Training Room told me how he wanted to eat my ass. Not something that you expect from a man who, earlier that day, was telling everyone about professionalism in the office.
... when I made out with the Brigade EO/S6 NCOIC. Talking about flying under the radar when he came out to the field to visit me, because the EO can do no wrong in the eyes of anyone with rank. All sexual anything between he and I aside, he was still a kickass dude after it was all over, and I miss that guy.
... when I was a security guard at the casino I worked at. I can say I banged at least one guy from every department. That was the most Civilian Penis I've ever had in such a short time period.
... when boss at said casino told me that he kept the video of me getting tazered because of how loud I screamed. He told me that he wishes his wife would be that loud.
... when one of my ex-husbands kept hitting on this bartender in the most blatant fashion. He'd call her 'sweetheart' and 'honey' and 'sugar'. He never called me that shit. When he asked me if we could bring her home (Because he had this kick to where he was SURE he could turn me bi), I said 'Oh, sure. Why the fuck not? You don't have to worry about ME getting pissed off.' in the most obviously dripping in sarcasm tone I could muster, which believe me, is pretty fucking obvious to even the deaf.
So he and I get in the car, and she hops in the back seat, and I turn around and say 'GET!! The fuck out of my car!' He starts in, saying 'But you said she could come!'
Long story short, he gets kicked out of the car, too. Witness accounts stated he went back to her place. I didn't give a shit, especially when he came home 4 hours later smelling like sex, and trying to kiss me, then crying because I wouldn't let him touch me.
... when I took the virginity of a guy I went to church with. I had it for him for a while, and he actually WANTED to have sex with me! The enthusiasm in him, and every single thing he did to me (I was his test subject for all the sex rumors he's ever heard) made me about fall off the face of the planet.
... when I was "dating" this Air Force guy. I was still a virgin, and he didn't want the strain of taking it from me, but I did enjoy almost every day for 6 months of him about licking me to death, and he was fucking magnificent at it. Looking back on it, I would love to have another man whose self-given purpose is to spend a couple hours a day with his face between my legs.