A long time ago I found a new friend, Doug. The two of us had just moved to a new city and started new jobs with the same very large organization. We spent a lot of time together, knowing only a few other people in town.
When our girlfriends were in town the four of us would go out once in a while.
Eventually, we all got married.
Some years ago, my friend ditched me. I don't know why. Doug simply dropped contact. We'd arrange to meet for lunch and he would be late. Then he wouldn't show up. At first, Doug had excuses. Then he stopped communicating with me entirely. Whatever.
A year ago I ran into Doug's wife Elaine at a big meeting. It was 'Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Long time no see! How's Doug?' That's when Elaine told me she and Doug were going through a divorce. I expressed my genuine surprise and sympathy. And the conversation quickly shut down. (I don't know what led to the divorce).
Within about 15 seconds I sensed that Elaine didn't want to talk to me anymore. I made a quick and polite exit and went to sit on my side of the room.
I broke the news to my wife, who was also shocked. I told her how Elaine obviously didn't want to talk to me. She said it was because I made her think of Doug.
Yesterday, about a year after the first meeting with Elaine, I passed her on the sidewalk. 'Hi, how are you! Long time no see! How is everything? How are the kids?' We chatted for about five minutes. I made it a point to not mention Doug, obviously.
I told my wife I ran into Elaine.
"Oh! How's she doing?"
"She's seemed to be o.k. She says hello."
"What did you talk about?"
"Nothing, really. How the kids are growing up so fast."
There was one more thing on my mind, that I had to get off my chest. I paused and said, "I think she wanted to give me a hug when we met."
"Uh-uh." As in, 'no.'
"It seemed like it, then she stopped herself. I'm not...I'm not that kind of guy. My brain doesn't process that way." It's true. Many of our friends hug each other when they meet. Too touchy feely for me. I'm not a hugger. I'm friendly, but I don't hug.
"I thought she was running away from you." My wife's tone picked up just a bit of an edge.
"That was a year ago."
"Mmm." I get the sense my wife is not o.k. with divorcees hugging me.
Totally unrelated, on Tuesday at the gym I had on Bodyglove bikini briefs underneath clingy Adidas shorts. I wasn't showing a bulge but a freaking bas relief carving of my whole package from stem to stern. Gave a new meaning to gym member. No, there aren't pictures, but it was enough that I tried to hide it.
When our girlfriends were in town the four of us would go out once in a while.
Eventually, we all got married.
Some years ago, my friend ditched me. I don't know why. Doug simply dropped contact. We'd arrange to meet for lunch and he would be late. Then he wouldn't show up. At first, Doug had excuses. Then he stopped communicating with me entirely. Whatever.
A year ago I ran into Doug's wife Elaine at a big meeting. It was 'Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Long time no see! How's Doug?' That's when Elaine told me she and Doug were going through a divorce. I expressed my genuine surprise and sympathy. And the conversation quickly shut down. (I don't know what led to the divorce).
Within about 15 seconds I sensed that Elaine didn't want to talk to me anymore. I made a quick and polite exit and went to sit on my side of the room.
I broke the news to my wife, who was also shocked. I told her how Elaine obviously didn't want to talk to me. She said it was because I made her think of Doug.
Yesterday, about a year after the first meeting with Elaine, I passed her on the sidewalk. 'Hi, how are you! Long time no see! How is everything? How are the kids?' We chatted for about five minutes. I made it a point to not mention Doug, obviously.
I told my wife I ran into Elaine.
"Oh! How's she doing?"
"She's seemed to be o.k. She says hello."
"What did you talk about?"
"Nothing, really. How the kids are growing up so fast."
There was one more thing on my mind, that I had to get off my chest. I paused and said, "I think she wanted to give me a hug when we met."
"Uh-uh." As in, 'no.'
"It seemed like it, then she stopped herself. I'm not...I'm not that kind of guy. My brain doesn't process that way." It's true. Many of our friends hug each other when they meet. Too touchy feely for me. I'm not a hugger. I'm friendly, but I don't hug.
"I thought she was running away from you." My wife's tone picked up just a bit of an edge.
"That was a year ago."
"Mmm." I get the sense my wife is not o.k. with divorcees hugging me.
Totally unrelated, on Tuesday at the gym I had on Bodyglove bikini briefs underneath clingy Adidas shorts. I wasn't showing a bulge but a freaking bas relief carving of my whole package from stem to stern. Gave a new meaning to gym member. No, there aren't pictures, but it was enough that I tried to hide it.