It's 1:45 in the morning, and there's no one I can call. So I'm blogging. For the first couple days, I was sad. I missed him. Now I'm just flat out angry. I want to scream and cry and tell him how badly he's hurt me. I knew it wasn't going to work... I should've listened... I knew he was too young or not ready or something. I told him about my fear of commitment due to being left in the past by all my other boyfriends. I told him I was afraid he'd leave me. He promised he was different. He told me he'd prove it to me if I gave him a chance. He told me I was the only one for him. I mean fuck, he traveled all the way here and spent an entire month of his life in my world. And he enjoyed it. I just don't fucking understand why he had to break up with me. I knew he had problems to work on, we had discussed how things were going to be between us during that time. I told him I wanted to be there to help and support him. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And then one day, just like that, poof... he's gone. He just up and decides to leave me. I reminded him of his promises, he just said, "I know, I'm a bad person, I'm so sorry."
Fuck you, Tobias. Fuck you for hurting me. Fuck you for breaking your promise. Fuck you for lying to me. Fuck you for promising my son things that he'll never get to experience now because you're never coming back here. Fuck you for trying so hard to break down my walls and then giving me every reason in the world for putting them back up again. Fuck you for making me vulnerable and then doing this to me.
I hope you feel like shit.
Fuck you, Tobias. Fuck you for hurting me. Fuck you for breaking your promise. Fuck you for lying to me. Fuck you for promising my son things that he'll never get to experience now because you're never coming back here. Fuck you for trying so hard to break down my walls and then giving me every reason in the world for putting them back up again. Fuck you for making me vulnerable and then doing this to me.
I hope you feel like shit.