*WARNING* This is an incoherent and borderline nonsensical ramble about getting back together with my ex and my basic dating preferences. Read at your own risk. *WARNING*
Recently I've been thinking of getting back together with my ex.
I know I said that I was giving up relationships, and I meant it at that time, but the lack of physical contact and just basic affection is really hard for me to deal with. That probably makes me very weak, but it's true. I do like to hold a woman and feel some kind of connection of with her. NOt having that for so long, and the idea of not having that ever again, was too much for me to take so I decided to try and get back with my ex.
Probably the healthy thing to do would be to get a new girlfriend, but I feel like I've exhausted all of my usual sources for dates, and the only options left don't work for me. I get dates using he internet and right now, outside of a few new people it's about the same people that were there last year. The only option for me would be to go out and meet women in the real world, and that has never worked for me. I've never gone on a date with someone that I've met in real life. That has just never happened. I've tried before, but it has never worked out.
Wait, I take that back. I did pick up a girl once at an event and we went out and dated for a little while. I eventually lost interest and we became just friends, but that is the only tie I've ever picked up a girl on the street and not online.
To be honest, I just haven't had the motivation to even use online dating. I think that's what makes getting back with my ex so enticing. She has been the one to contact me, so I don't really have to do anything. Last week, she contacted me, we chatted and I asked her if she would be interested in dating again and she said yes. I told her that we would have to have a serious discussion before we really did anything, but the amount of effort from me was so little that... I don't know. It was just easy.
Everything about a relationship is easy. I don't mean that in a bad way, like she is easy to get in the sack, that's definitely not true for me, but I mean a relationship with her is easy. I know her. I don't have to get to know a new person, I don't have to figure out if I like this new person, or if they like me, we already know each other and are comfortable with each other. There's no awkwardness.
I hate the awkwardness of dating. I don't like meeting new people. I don't like that phase where you don't know anything about this other person and you don't know what to say to them. I like the part of a relationship where a routine has set in. It's just comfortable. I know some people think that's boring, but to me it's heaven. I had already been in a routine with my ex when I broke up with her. The problem was that, I am very clingy and she was not. So the relationship wasn't as emotionally fulfilling as I would like. That's why I broke up with her.
I'm going to stop this here and write some more later.
Recently I've been thinking of getting back together with my ex.
I know I said that I was giving up relationships, and I meant it at that time, but the lack of physical contact and just basic affection is really hard for me to deal with. That probably makes me very weak, but it's true. I do like to hold a woman and feel some kind of connection of with her. NOt having that for so long, and the idea of not having that ever again, was too much for me to take so I decided to try and get back with my ex.
Probably the healthy thing to do would be to get a new girlfriend, but I feel like I've exhausted all of my usual sources for dates, and the only options left don't work for me. I get dates using he internet and right now, outside of a few new people it's about the same people that were there last year. The only option for me would be to go out and meet women in the real world, and that has never worked for me. I've never gone on a date with someone that I've met in real life. That has just never happened. I've tried before, but it has never worked out.
Wait, I take that back. I did pick up a girl once at an event and we went out and dated for a little while. I eventually lost interest and we became just friends, but that is the only tie I've ever picked up a girl on the street and not online.
To be honest, I just haven't had the motivation to even use online dating. I think that's what makes getting back with my ex so enticing. She has been the one to contact me, so I don't really have to do anything. Last week, she contacted me, we chatted and I asked her if she would be interested in dating again and she said yes. I told her that we would have to have a serious discussion before we really did anything, but the amount of effort from me was so little that... I don't know. It was just easy.
Everything about a relationship is easy. I don't mean that in a bad way, like she is easy to get in the sack, that's definitely not true for me, but I mean a relationship with her is easy. I know her. I don't have to get to know a new person, I don't have to figure out if I like this new person, or if they like me, we already know each other and are comfortable with each other. There's no awkwardness.
I hate the awkwardness of dating. I don't like meeting new people. I don't like that phase where you don't know anything about this other person and you don't know what to say to them. I like the part of a relationship where a routine has set in. It's just comfortable. I know some people think that's boring, but to me it's heaven. I had already been in a routine with my ex when I broke up with her. The problem was that, I am very clingy and she was not. So the relationship wasn't as emotionally fulfilling as I would like. That's why I broke up with her.
I'm going to stop this here and write some more later.
