I've been good about this

Marjorie and I went to a couple very important meetings today at work.

She was questioning me about my preparations beforehand, and it was really stressing me out.

I'm not sure I "performed" as well as I should. Remember: I'm the boss. And I feel like I relied on her too much. She was definitely the one with the "go-get-'em" attitude today.

I feel like her approval of me as the leader is the most important part of my job. In a way, my desire to meet or exceed her expectations is what's motivating me. In a weird sense, I almost view her as a mentor, because she has a greater depth of experience in some aspects of our work.

My need to earn her approval might not be a bad thing, if I actually do rise above and take my skill set to the next level.

We haven't been connecting much on a personal level. Maybe it's because I pulled back, maybe it's because work has been at a higher stress level than normal for the past few weeks. But I sat beside her at a conference table today, and looked at her when she was on a roll, and thought, 'she is so friggin' beautiful right now.'

Then we got back to our office, I sensed just a fractional impatience from her because I wasn't "leading" enough, and we went our separate ways again.

Comments

are you trying to say that if she were unattractive that you might feel differently about having such a need to gain her approval?

Kinda sounds to me like, as the boss, you put a lot of emphasis on her beauty and "personal connections". I just wonder.... hmm.... what if she were grossly overweight, but still just as bright and confident in her work, if you would be having such a dilemma with her?
 
Yes. No. Err...I don't know!

Would I feel differently about her in particular? Absolutely. No question that there is physical attraction.

However, for me there is a separation between the value of a person's work and her physical attractiveness. Case in point is another woman who pretty much fits the other type you mention and no one in the office should doubt that I value her contributions. In fact, I called a meeting specifically to congratulate her on some work she did.

And yes, if I were to work as closely with her as I do with Marjorie, I very well could feel a need her approval. But there would never be a dilemma that involves me being attracted to her otherwise.

As for Marjorie's personal connections--I owe a lot to her ability to open doors for us.
 
She is getting mad cause you haven't made any moves a d you did the right thing for a married man and pulled away and restricted communications and time together good man
 

Blog entry information

Author
twoton
Read time
1 min read
Views
198
Comments
3
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from twoton

Share this entry