I really wanted to find another opportunity with Jay. On one hand, I was scared of finding myself more and more attracted to a man's body. But at the same time I was so driven by the excitement and pleasure from that night. The image of Jay’s cock dripping cum was etched in my brain for weeks. And I was basically living with the “Fuck it, I’ll see where this is going” mentality. I wanted to see Jay cum again - this time without those stupid tissues blocking. I wanted him to jack me off, too. I wanted us to cum together at the same time. I wanted to experience him more.
There was one problem, though. It was difficult to find a moment to be alone together. Both of us were busy with coursework and other activities. A bigger problem was to find a private place. I learned that his roommate was pretty much in his room all the time. Moreover, his room was one of the “gathering rooms” where guys gathered and chatted, played cards, smoked, ate, drank, and lingered. Sometimes guys were just hanging out there even without Jay and his roommate in. My room was not that different. Both my roommate and I had quite a few friends and there were frequent visitor traffic. We were older and lying down under the same blanket was not okay anymore.
Out of desperation, we once got into a bathroom stall, only to be interrupted by other stall users, and gave up the idea quickly even before we got into the real business. I don’t remember if we ever considered renting a room outside the school - but even if we did, it was not really an option. I think there were some “day motels” in those days as well, but two guys in such a place were severely frowned upon back then, and we couldn’t afford to be seen together there. We didn’t have money, either.
We managed to have one rare chance of privacy after a while. For this one, I don’t remember the whole incident, but only piece by piece. In one scene, both of us were fully naked, he was lying down and I was stroking his cock with one hand and caressing his balls with another. In another scene, he was jerking me off but I got too close too soon so I held his wrist and stopped him. In the last scene, he shot a small amount of cum on his pubic area, but then said, “I don’t think I am done yet”, so I continued to stroke him. After a while, he was grimacing and twitching. My arm was really tired but I was determined to see him cum again. And then it happened. He suddenly shot thick ropes of cum two or three times followed by a few small ones, the first of which hit the headboard of the bed. I remember I was too shocked to say anything, simply watching those wet white lines across his body. He sheepishly boasted, “Have you seen anything like this?”
I don’t remember if or when I came on that occasion. But one thing was obvious, he had much better stamina than me and he’s a shooter. And the fact that I had a short fuse down there did make me feel a bit inferior to him. I was jealous of his sexual prowess.
There was another piece of memory with him. I was jacking him off again sitting next to him. He started cumming without any warning and his first couple of squirts hit me in the face directly. That warm goo flowed down on my face while I was desperately searching for some tissues to wipe it out. I was really stunned because I could smell the strong scent of his semen. Somewhat similar to my own smell but different. I didn’t dare to taste it though. I still remember the smell after 30 years. Human memory is amazing.
Wish I could share more of my experience with Jay. But chemistry between him and me was not like in our high school days anymore. One thing I noticed was his reactiveness. I was the one who always found the time and place and initiated the move. He never visited my room. I had to take time and effort to warm him up and invite him into the action. I started to feel more like I was begging. Sometimes he just refused my proposal, saying that he needed to study or his roommate would be back soon, which made me leave his room with huge disappointment. Maybe I went too far with him? Maybe our “innocent” play was not innocent anymore and it felt more like man-to-man sex to him? Maybe that triggered his fear, the same fear I had been having toward homosexuality? I’m not sure.
Our interests and friendship circles started to diverge as well. I became more academic and spent a lot of time studying, while he indulged in drinking, smoking and gambling and didn’t really focus on his study. During the rest of our college years, our encounters died down. Our relationship deteriorated. We were back to our freshman year and seldom talked to each other. Was I disappointed? Maybe, but probably not so much. I think I eventually accepted that we grew up to have different interests in life and were not that compatible as friends. Sexually, I had some experiences with a couple of other guys (more stories later), and I think Jay started having sex with girls. We parted our ways like that and moved on.
I graduated from college and came to the States to continue my study. After a year, I came back home for the break and visited my college for a few days to meet my friends who were still there. From one of my friends, I heard Jay hadn’t graduated yet and was still there too. I thought about Jay and wondered if I should meet him while I was there. Not exactly sure why, but I think I felt like I had some unfinished homework or debt to pay off. I wanted to mend our broken relationship. I just hoped that we would be at least on speaking terms again
On the last night of my visit, after some hesitation, I headed to his room. And I found him alone in his room. I said hi to him and asked how he had been. To my disappointment, he seemed and sounded aloof. I barely managed to have some meaningless chit-chat with him, but internally I felt like an idiot. I was thinking “This is not going anywhere.” Frustrated, I was going to say bye and leave, when he suddenly said, “You know, I actually slept with a hooker the other day…”. That caught me off guard. He continued, “.., and she gave me a blowjob and I came in her mouth. She then spit it out on some toilet papers.” I was like “Okaaay..? Why is saying this to me?” Then his next words left me totally flabbergasted. “Do you want me to try that on you?”
To this day, I don’t know what caused him to offer that. For years, I had been wanting him to make moves on me, but not at this magnitude. Next thing I remember, I was kneeling on the floor without my pants on, and Jay was giving me a very earnest blowjob, one hand grabbing the base of my cock and the other hand clutching tissues. It was actually my second time receiving a blowjob, but this was so much better than the first experience. Had he tried it on other guys? I had no idea. But I was in ecstasy with Jay’s mouth around my cock. It was Jay and that made the whole thing so special. I was panting and moaning uncontrollably. I wanted it to last forever, but sadly that inevitable feeling approached me, “Jay, I’m gonna cum soon”. I thought he would pull my dick out of his mouth, but he kept sucking me. “Jay, if you keep doing it, I’m going to cum in your mouth”. He didn't stop. And my whole body trembled and I came in his mouth hard. After my spurts stopped, his mouth let my cock go and he spit my cum mixed with his saliva into the tissues.
I came back to my senses and thought “Should I suck him too?” I hadn’t sucked anybody until then, and I was not sure if I was ready for that yet. I thought I should offer something to him anyway, so I started touching his crotch. But he said “no, I’m good” curtly. Embarrassed and disappointed, I put my pants back on and left his room.
Was he just curious about what it felt like? Why did he deny me after that? Was this his way of saying, “I’ve done this much to you. Now leave me alone”? I am not sure. But I did sense at that time that this would be the end of our physical encounters. And that’s exactly what happened. I went back to the States and have been living here since then. Whenever I came back to my home country and met my high school friends, he was not there. I didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me either. Many years passed like that.
One day a friend of mine told me that Jay’s father passed away. I initially hesitated but I thought I’d contact him and offer my condolences. So I texted him, “Sorry to hear your loss, Jay. Hope you are coping well. Also, I’m sorry about our past incidents if they made you uncomfortable. Hope you understand.” I didn’t expect to hear from him, but he replied a few days after. “Thanks for your message. Hope you are doing fine.”
More time had passed since then. A few years back, I had another chance to visit my home country. I contacted some of my high school friends to have dinner together and they invited some other friends as well. When I went to the restaurant, Jay was there. I was so happy to see him again. It had been almost 30 years since we had first met, but it felt like no time passed at all since our high school days. He was married with kids and was working for a mid-sized IT company. He definitely gained some weight and showed some belly, but his mischievous smile was still there. We chatted about many things over beers and liquor. When it was finally time to leave, most of us were rather drunk. Jay told me that he’s going in the same direction as me, so we rode the late night subway together.
Even though it was late, there were no seats available, so we were standing. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to ask what he thought about our time together, if there’s any regret or hard feeling left, and what the blowjob actually meant. However, Jay was dozing off while holding the bar in one hand. And his slouching posture made him look smaller and older. To me, Jay had been remembered with his youthful look and mannerism. That Jay was not there anymore. Instead, I was seeing a middle-aged man, drunk and sleeping in front of me. Seeing my old friend like that, with whom I shared one of the most intimate moments in my life together, and thinking that we are getting older together, made me so emotional. I was on the verge of crying. I just wanted to hug him and cry right there.
It’s been years since then. I don’t know when I will see Jay again. I wish him well. I hope in his memory I am not a bad person. It would make me a happy man if any memory with me makes him smile. Like those precious moments with him made me smile sometimes.
There was one problem, though. It was difficult to find a moment to be alone together. Both of us were busy with coursework and other activities. A bigger problem was to find a private place. I learned that his roommate was pretty much in his room all the time. Moreover, his room was one of the “gathering rooms” where guys gathered and chatted, played cards, smoked, ate, drank, and lingered. Sometimes guys were just hanging out there even without Jay and his roommate in. My room was not that different. Both my roommate and I had quite a few friends and there were frequent visitor traffic. We were older and lying down under the same blanket was not okay anymore.
Out of desperation, we once got into a bathroom stall, only to be interrupted by other stall users, and gave up the idea quickly even before we got into the real business. I don’t remember if we ever considered renting a room outside the school - but even if we did, it was not really an option. I think there were some “day motels” in those days as well, but two guys in such a place were severely frowned upon back then, and we couldn’t afford to be seen together there. We didn’t have money, either.
We managed to have one rare chance of privacy after a while. For this one, I don’t remember the whole incident, but only piece by piece. In one scene, both of us were fully naked, he was lying down and I was stroking his cock with one hand and caressing his balls with another. In another scene, he was jerking me off but I got too close too soon so I held his wrist and stopped him. In the last scene, he shot a small amount of cum on his pubic area, but then said, “I don’t think I am done yet”, so I continued to stroke him. After a while, he was grimacing and twitching. My arm was really tired but I was determined to see him cum again. And then it happened. He suddenly shot thick ropes of cum two or three times followed by a few small ones, the first of which hit the headboard of the bed. I remember I was too shocked to say anything, simply watching those wet white lines across his body. He sheepishly boasted, “Have you seen anything like this?”
I don’t remember if or when I came on that occasion. But one thing was obvious, he had much better stamina than me and he’s a shooter. And the fact that I had a short fuse down there did make me feel a bit inferior to him. I was jealous of his sexual prowess.
There was another piece of memory with him. I was jacking him off again sitting next to him. He started cumming without any warning and his first couple of squirts hit me in the face directly. That warm goo flowed down on my face while I was desperately searching for some tissues to wipe it out. I was really stunned because I could smell the strong scent of his semen. Somewhat similar to my own smell but different. I didn’t dare to taste it though. I still remember the smell after 30 years. Human memory is amazing.
Wish I could share more of my experience with Jay. But chemistry between him and me was not like in our high school days anymore. One thing I noticed was his reactiveness. I was the one who always found the time and place and initiated the move. He never visited my room. I had to take time and effort to warm him up and invite him into the action. I started to feel more like I was begging. Sometimes he just refused my proposal, saying that he needed to study or his roommate would be back soon, which made me leave his room with huge disappointment. Maybe I went too far with him? Maybe our “innocent” play was not innocent anymore and it felt more like man-to-man sex to him? Maybe that triggered his fear, the same fear I had been having toward homosexuality? I’m not sure.
Our interests and friendship circles started to diverge as well. I became more academic and spent a lot of time studying, while he indulged in drinking, smoking and gambling and didn’t really focus on his study. During the rest of our college years, our encounters died down. Our relationship deteriorated. We were back to our freshman year and seldom talked to each other. Was I disappointed? Maybe, but probably not so much. I think I eventually accepted that we grew up to have different interests in life and were not that compatible as friends. Sexually, I had some experiences with a couple of other guys (more stories later), and I think Jay started having sex with girls. We parted our ways like that and moved on.
I graduated from college and came to the States to continue my study. After a year, I came back home for the break and visited my college for a few days to meet my friends who were still there. From one of my friends, I heard Jay hadn’t graduated yet and was still there too. I thought about Jay and wondered if I should meet him while I was there. Not exactly sure why, but I think I felt like I had some unfinished homework or debt to pay off. I wanted to mend our broken relationship. I just hoped that we would be at least on speaking terms again
On the last night of my visit, after some hesitation, I headed to his room. And I found him alone in his room. I said hi to him and asked how he had been. To my disappointment, he seemed and sounded aloof. I barely managed to have some meaningless chit-chat with him, but internally I felt like an idiot. I was thinking “This is not going anywhere.” Frustrated, I was going to say bye and leave, when he suddenly said, “You know, I actually slept with a hooker the other day…”. That caught me off guard. He continued, “.., and she gave me a blowjob and I came in her mouth. She then spit it out on some toilet papers.” I was like “Okaaay..? Why is saying this to me?” Then his next words left me totally flabbergasted. “Do you want me to try that on you?”
To this day, I don’t know what caused him to offer that. For years, I had been wanting him to make moves on me, but not at this magnitude. Next thing I remember, I was kneeling on the floor without my pants on, and Jay was giving me a very earnest blowjob, one hand grabbing the base of my cock and the other hand clutching tissues. It was actually my second time receiving a blowjob, but this was so much better than the first experience. Had he tried it on other guys? I had no idea. But I was in ecstasy with Jay’s mouth around my cock. It was Jay and that made the whole thing so special. I was panting and moaning uncontrollably. I wanted it to last forever, but sadly that inevitable feeling approached me, “Jay, I’m gonna cum soon”. I thought he would pull my dick out of his mouth, but he kept sucking me. “Jay, if you keep doing it, I’m going to cum in your mouth”. He didn't stop. And my whole body trembled and I came in his mouth hard. After my spurts stopped, his mouth let my cock go and he spit my cum mixed with his saliva into the tissues.
I came back to my senses and thought “Should I suck him too?” I hadn’t sucked anybody until then, and I was not sure if I was ready for that yet. I thought I should offer something to him anyway, so I started touching his crotch. But he said “no, I’m good” curtly. Embarrassed and disappointed, I put my pants back on and left his room.
Was he just curious about what it felt like? Why did he deny me after that? Was this his way of saying, “I’ve done this much to you. Now leave me alone”? I am not sure. But I did sense at that time that this would be the end of our physical encounters. And that’s exactly what happened. I went back to the States and have been living here since then. Whenever I came back to my home country and met my high school friends, he was not there. I didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me either. Many years passed like that.
One day a friend of mine told me that Jay’s father passed away. I initially hesitated but I thought I’d contact him and offer my condolences. So I texted him, “Sorry to hear your loss, Jay. Hope you are coping well. Also, I’m sorry about our past incidents if they made you uncomfortable. Hope you understand.” I didn’t expect to hear from him, but he replied a few days after. “Thanks for your message. Hope you are doing fine.”
More time had passed since then. A few years back, I had another chance to visit my home country. I contacted some of my high school friends to have dinner together and they invited some other friends as well. When I went to the restaurant, Jay was there. I was so happy to see him again. It had been almost 30 years since we had first met, but it felt like no time passed at all since our high school days. He was married with kids and was working for a mid-sized IT company. He definitely gained some weight and showed some belly, but his mischievous smile was still there. We chatted about many things over beers and liquor. When it was finally time to leave, most of us were rather drunk. Jay told me that he’s going in the same direction as me, so we rode the late night subway together.
Even though it was late, there were no seats available, so we were standing. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to ask what he thought about our time together, if there’s any regret or hard feeling left, and what the blowjob actually meant. However, Jay was dozing off while holding the bar in one hand. And his slouching posture made him look smaller and older. To me, Jay had been remembered with his youthful look and mannerism. That Jay was not there anymore. Instead, I was seeing a middle-aged man, drunk and sleeping in front of me. Seeing my old friend like that, with whom I shared one of the most intimate moments in my life together, and thinking that we are getting older together, made me so emotional. I was on the verge of crying. I just wanted to hug him and cry right there.
It’s been years since then. I don’t know when I will see Jay again. I wish him well. I hope in his memory I am not a bad person. It would make me a happy man if any memory with me makes him smile. Like those precious moments with him made me smile sometimes.
