MASTURBATION TRANSFORMATIONS - part 6

Masturbatory edging as meditation or the denial of orgasmic release in search of one's self?

I was experiencing great pleasure this morning while studiously reading an essay. While naked in bed and having my morning coffee, I began massaging my glans penis. :)I'm still playing with my knob as I type these words. For over two hours of constant stimulation, I have refrained from achieving a firm erection. While embracing my enjoyment, I began to wonder whether my cock's plump condition could relate to my exhibitionistic desires, and my voyeuristic pleasure of observing other cocks.

Could I be theoretically searching for justification of desiring to enlarge my cock's appearance? Are my illusions of large cocks just a search for self awareness? Do we need to share our masturbatory enlightenment with each other in order to become healthier?

Self reflection will be my goal as I continue to edge towards orgasmic release today. I don't plan on ejaculating until I fall asleep tonight, so I cannot imagine the potential distractions to my continual stimulation may occur.
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Disciplining myself to enjoy the tease could be challenging.

Comments

@michaelmed21 - I think the main thing you need to consider is making the decision to attempt "edging all day long". You need an environment without interruptions to your intentions. I've encountered a couple of interruptions in the past hour, but am fortunate enough to live with only my wife and she understands my nakedness. I will have to wear some minimal clothing as I head out into my yard for some minor tree trimming this afternoon, but I will have easy access to my glans for teasing as I feel my partial boner subsiding. The intentional meditation on masturbating will not exist, but if I make an effort to maintain my cock's plumpness and throbbing, perhaps that could suffice to keep me focused.

I've had difficulty understanding everyone's definition of edging. Is edging an extended length of time maintaining an erection prior to orgasmic ejaculation? Could edging be the denial of orgasmic pleasure as some deny ejaculation for days on end? I am attempting to redefine my definition of edging to include the pleasurable sensations realized as you feel your cock build to its inevitable erection. Perhaps, I'm attempting to recapture the spontaneous boners of my youth. As an exhibitionist, I crave acknowledgment of erotic potential along with the admiration, so I wonder whether my masturbation accentuates my appearance.

Many claim that masturbation is not proper methodology to "grow" your cock size. I speculate my constant masturbatory exercise has created my larger cock. I lack the empirical evidence, but I know that I've rarely missed a day of masturbating since I discovered the pleasure of orgasmic release.
 
... personal update: I failed at maintaining my goal of "tickling my knob" all afternoon. I wore a glans ring which kept my foreskin retracted and my bare knob exposed enough that my cock remained partially plump. As I prepare to fall asleep, I'm not sure that I feel an orgasmic urgency to ejaculate this early morning hour.
 
As I play with my cock today creating proud erections that I don't want to subside, but need to in order to avoid orgasmic release, I wonder whether other guys are obsessed with self-admiration like me. I've been reading a master thesis submitted in 2013 entitled Masturbation as a Way of Life (credit @OldWise recommendation). Narcissistic demands ingrained upon my psychic has me wondering whether promoting efforts to increase our masturbation frequency could solve many of our social ills.
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Sherwood D. Likelym
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