Mindful Masturbation (aka Mindful Stroking)

While most people are interested in masturbation, and many people are interested in mindfulness, the two are not often combined together. Of course, many people jerk off because they want their minds to turn off and take a break from thinking, so may think that Mindful Masturbation isn't for them. However, the practice of Mindful Masturbation, also called Mindful Stroking for those who want a less clinical name, has many different aspects to it, including quieting the mind. So, if you want to zombie out, Mindful Stroking can help you do that more effectively.

Most people don't see any reason to change how they jerk off, because they’ve done it the same way for so long, but that's precisely the problem. Over the years, habitual, repetitive motions lead to patterns in our bodies, minds, and overall selves that can be less than fully balanced. For example, if we almost always jerk off with our right hand, the stronger contact of our fingers against the left side of the cock will lead those tissues to be more compressed than the right side, leading to a leftward bend of the cock. If we usually focus on the upper shaft and head, the root and midshaft can be relatively undeveloped, as well as the underside of the cock. Or, if we jerk off very frequently, we may start to notice the sensations less, so we keep doing more and more to try to experience the same peaks we had before. Everyone is different, and I'm not trying to lecture anyone about how to be. However, I know from personal experience how transformative it can be to practice Mindful Stroking.

Mindfulness is basically about paying attention. Some people practice mindfulness by paying attention to the breath, or to an object like a candle or a mandala, but we can pay attention to anything we choose to. No matter how much practice we have with mindfulness, it can be difficult to remain mindful when in the throes of the hugely complex sensations, thoughts, and emotions that come up during sex, jerking off, or pretty much anytime we connect with our cocks or vaginas, asses, nips, and all other erogenous zones of our bodies.

The main principles of Mindful Stroking are:
  • regularly mix up which hand you use
    • if you usually use your right hand, try to use the left hand as much as possible, or at least work it in here and there
  • don’t go any faster than you can pay attention to the sensations
    • if it is a complete blur of sensations, slow down)
  • try not to stay in the same position or rhythm for more than a few minutes.
    • try standing up, squatting with knees spread, lying down, etc.; try extremely slow, medium, etc., but avoid going fast for long times)
  • try mixing up which grip you use
    • for example, not just underhand, also overhand, thumb on the head, etc.
  • try paying attention deeply to one particular stream of sensations, for example:
    • what you feel inside the cock
    • what you feel inside your hand
    • what you see
    • what you hear
    • images that come to mind
    • if you often get lost in your thoughts, just observe any thoughts that arise and let them pass, don’t get caught up in them
  • pay attention as deeply as possible to any sensations you haven't noticed before
    • for example, lightly brush your fingers against an area you don't usually focus on, like the underside, or the root, or midshaft, or right side, any area you don't normally notice as much.
  • after a while of focusing only on your cock, make sure you expand your focus to include other parts of your body as well (such as your balls, perineum, legs, etc., or any other part of your body).
    • The entire body can be an erogenous zone, and if we focus only on our cocks we're missing out on everything our experience can be.
  • consider whether you have to cum at the end, or save the energy for other purposes, such as creativity, productivity, and awakening (as discussed further in our Cum Training practice). regardless, it's your choice to make.
I’ll add more when I can, but wanted to share the basics. If meditative aids are needed, see the images in my Meditation album as examples. I'm indebted to Bruce Greyther’s Secret of the Golden Phallus for suggesting the importance of Mindful Masturbation, check out his inspiring work.

Remember, we can PAY ATTENTION TO WHATEVER ARISES.

Here is a good example of mindful stroking by Pablo Santos, as he doesn't go too fast, and keeps mixing it up, though it would be ideal to switch hands more often.

Super hung bodybuilder Pablo Santos


Please comment and discuss, would love to hear your thoughts and experiences! What grips, positions, etc. do you think others need to try?

-Coach

Comments

:emoji_hugging:Great reminders of methodology for focusing our intentions. As a daily masturbator for more than 55 years, I've discovered many of your suggestions by accident. I've spent many years utilizing my imagination fantasizing erotic scenarios. It's becoming difficult creating new "fantasies", but focusing on feeling various "stroking" sensations still creates rigid erections.

Thanks for the meditation reminder. I remember every time that I've figured-out mindfulness, I've barely discovered a phase:rolleyes:. Must practice, practice, practice, and enjoy new pleasantries:).
 
@Sherwood D. Likelym - @TheTempleOfEros

Thanks for putting into words what many of us are struggling with. Now as you say we're all different, so we all have to find our own best way to mindful stroking. One thing is clear however: mindful jerking doesn't exist!

I doubt if it's true what you said about left or right hand. I've always jerked off with my left hand, and I have a left curve. Or maybe I jerked off with my right hand when in my teens, but I can't remember...

Recently I've been concentrating on my cock head more and more, using a little lube and stroking softly with my finger tips. There's so much to enjoy there! But you also need time for it, and for many men that's exactly the problem. Mindful stroking takes time. And if you don't have time, just jerk off. Can be fun too of course!

Bert
 
Last edited:
@hungbert Thanks for sharing your perspective, I totally agree about the amazing sensitivity of the glans. As for whether there's a correlation between cock curvature and which hand we use for stroking, I'm just inferring a general pattern based on my limited number of data points so far. There may be lots of factors that affect cock curvature, but the key point is that if your cock is curved one direction (for whatever reason), the tissues on the inward side of the bend are necessarily compressed, while the ones on the outward side are necessarily expanded, due to physics. If people want to experiment with mixing up which hand they use, as well as other factors like grip, rhythm, etc., they may find it helps in surprising ways (I'm always amazed at which areas of my cock are stimulated when I use my right vs. left hand), but to each their own!

As we work towards a society that is more accepting of our bodies and the libido, hopefully we'll be able to start collecting more data to better understand all these factors.
 
Cock curvature … interesting perspectives

during my teens and throughout my 20's my erections curved downward and towards the left:confused: ... always bothered me, and my female partners would squirm into various contortions to accommodate the penetrations:cool:. I am right-handed. Over the years, I speculated my downward curve was "trained" by my mother's "dressing" instructions. I always wore tight, white briefs as underwear until my first exposure to boxers while in the military. My mother taught me to tuck my penis between my legs in the brief's pouch, and I would sleep in my underwear. I can only speculate about the hundreds of erections that were suppressed by those briefs:rolleyes:. My cock is fairly long, so I'm not sure whether the "dressing" had much of an effect on its length.

After my time in the military, I discovered that I preferred having my cock dangle freely down my pants leg instead of being bunched-up in briefs. Since my cock curved to the left, I would place it down my right pants leg for "display" and additional stimulation:blush:. I've dressed in this manner for over 40 years, and my erections have become straighter.

Now if only my "mindfulness" create an upward curve …
 
Last edited:
Thanks for more great wisdom.
I use the term medibation to describe mindful stroking, a combination of awareness of the whole body sensations during masturbation.
Breath is so important during mindful stroking. We all know how common it is for men to tense up and stop breathing as orgasm approaches, however the key is to keep breathing and keep the body from tensing, to allow the waves of pleasure to travel through the entire body. It makes such a difference. Nothing wrong with tense toe-curling ejaculations, but staying loose with continued breathing is an altogether different experience.
Bate on my brothers
John
 
I forgot to add a wonderful technique for focussing on the sensations of stroking - enlist the help of a mate. have a mate stroke your cock for you. Suddenly the mind isn't telling the hand what to do which means that you fully don't know what your mates hand is going to do next. It really helps the mind just focus on the sensations. And as each mate has a different hand, ideas, techniques it keeps it quite surprising.
I am collecting observations on the difference between gay men and straight mates working my cock. I believe the gay men are (generally) more inventive when it comes to mixing up the strokes. My straight mates (bless 'em) are usually less experienced in handling cocks other than their own.
But definitely try getting someone else to stroke your cock.
(PS I happen to like being bound as they do this).
 
For times when you can't get a mate over or want to be alone I suppose you could try hands free masterbator toy. I want to start a thread about these toys and ask guys of their experiences of them and which is the best. You can also vary the settings so you don't know what's coming next with some of them.
 
@J.Bee - Your PS was exactly what I was thinking of when I read the first part of your text. It's absolutely fantastic being tied/chained to your bed (or whatever) while someone is handling your cock and balls!
 
Thank you a lot, you are sharing high quality content here and it deserves handful appreciation. I started 10 days ago with cum training and I already feel more connected with my body and soul, and more confident. I will soon try also mindful masturbation to connect even more with myself. Keep up the great job with these blogs!
 
Great discussion, guys! The points that you raised about creativity and unexpectedness are very important, J. Bee. While gay guys might in general be more creative at mixing up the grip, stroke rate, hand positioning, etc., whether on themselves or others (I haven't had enough straight trainees yet to make a detailed survey of the question myself), we can always practice on ourselves, and show our partners and mates how we like them to keep mixing it up.

As for the unexpectedness of sensations, I agree that unexpected sensations are much easier to notice when we're with someone else, but not everyone always has a bate bud or assistant handy, there are many ways to work unexpectedness into our solo practice. For example, just switching hands, or focusing on an area we haven't paid attention to before, can be revolutionary if we focus deeply enough. For example, try focusing on the area where your balls and the underside of your shaft meet, or the coronal ridge (at the bottom of the head), or the center of the perineum, or any other area you don't usually pay much attention to. Or, try using a new toy, like the Doc Johnson sleeve that I recently got, which produces an entire universe of new sensations. For more ideas, see my Training Gear album.

View media item 2987531
One of my favorite ways to introduce unexpected sensations is to take a lanyard (the kind that many office badges are kept on, with a cord that easily comes out and retracts), and attach one end to a cock sling that's around the head of my cock. The other end of the lanyard can be attached to a necklace or harness, or to weights while working out, or to objects around the room, resulting in your cock unexpectedly being pulled in various directions. It's really amazing, I'll have to post photos or gifs to clarify what I mean - stay tuned to my Stamina Training album.
 
Last edited:
Nice reading and ideal fro a slow stroke. For me it starts with the right hand and then I change so I continue the exploration of my body with my right hand, my nipples become roused when masturbating - and enjoy being covered with pre cum. Likewise an touching of the anus, a light pressing or even finger fucking while at the same time stroking/gripping your hard cock. If I start the action near the head it gets me really rock like so then my hand slips down the shaft to explore the lower parts. Concentrate on feeling all round, wanking everywhere as it were so no one part gets less attention than the other, that way you'll achieve a good orgasm but take longer to reach climax. It is not only the cock that needs to be teased when masturbating, I've mention the anus and nipples but don't forget the balls, cup them, juggle them but keep them involved. I haven't used a Doc Johnson sleeve but a mate has one and has promised me we can use it next time we have a fun session. Toys are great to enhance the sensation, to give that aching in the belly, the heightening of the experience, cock rings, cock and ball straps even dildos and anal stimulation aids spread the sexual frisson all over the erogenous zones. Then, when the climax is close its time to decide if its going to have a conclusion or delay for further play.
Having the same experience with a bud, sharing toys, helping hands and enjoying the same sensations from different hands give rise to really wonderful experiences as he use his own technique on you which can give some unexpected pleasures plus you are having a thrill feeling his body, his cock balls and ass and nipples therefore exciting his sexual experience.
 
@TheTempleOfEros One of my favorite ways to introduce unexpected sensations is to take a lanyard (the kind that many office badges are kept on, with a cord that easily comes out and retracts), and attach one end to a cock sling that's around the head of my cock. The other end of the lanyard can be attached to a necklace or harness, or to weights while working out
Agreed mate, love to tie weights to my balls while working out. The weight and the swinging motion gets me hard, which just increases the tension and the build up of erotic energy. Also great motivator for workouts (the ones ate home...not so much at the gym lol)
 
@Italiangvy Love your post. It feeds my soul when I hear of guys starting to know their body in a whole new way. Connecting to their male sexual energy. Keep it up and keep us posted on your progress. Always available for cam sharing of progress and technique.
 
Great post, there has been a lot of talk of mindful female clitoral stimulation as beneficial in the media, it makes sense that the same principles apply to us men. Having read your post on restricting full ejaculation to weekly I’m assuming that you would do these mindful sessions more frequently than that but just not cum as part of it.
I have a thread on pleasuring cut cocks going at the moment which I’ll link to this fantastic resource
 
i feel when stroking cock is to take your time and dont rush specially if you plan to release.. i also along as i need and give 4 hours to the pleasure.. i make sure i have my legs as wide as i can get them and yes with a cock ring on and black boots...the more i turn my self on the better and rarely released seed
 
nudemusclemare has now given me another picture for my head library of erotic views, thanks mate,, the more imaginary images I can store the more enjoyable my wanking becomes and when eventually I have to release the heights of sensory eroticism fill my body at the moment of ejaculation.
Not given to edging, alas I don't have that control over my emotions or hands, but I do enjoy a long protracted wank, sometimes letting myself droop to a plump semi lob before stirring up and erection again.
I did find the lanyard hint excellent and had the pleasure of a hands free moment. a hard on under my jeans. the fabric rubbing across my tool as it went into various positions as I gardened provided the unexpected awakening of my cum machinery and after a prolonged period of movement I had an involuntary cum shot which nearly knocked me over with its suddenness and ferocity. I've also used the lanyard while doing less active works maintains a nice chub ready for the occasional stroke. So thanks, any other ideas welcome.
The other way of keeping that warm feeling is to wear a sleeve or fleshlight held in place under clothing. General movement provides enough sensation to keep your cock inflated and then of course the appliance is already in place for finishing off. I I use this way to masturbate I usually leave my cock in the appliance afterwards till it naturally subsides and slips out, then I can wash out the residue or use it as cock moisturiser.
 

Blog entry information

Author
TheTempleOfEros
Read time
4 min read
Views
1,290
Comments
21
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from TheTempleOfEros

Share this entry