My cock is not a Birthday balloon!

Yeah I get it. You're all getting drunk and having a great time. Just tell me what my fucking surprise present is already. And stop reaching down and feeling and grabbing my crotch when you're hugging me and thinking you can get away with it just because its my soon to be Birthday. I swear I haven't been groped this much since High School.

Ok bitches -its NOW just past Midnight and officially it (I'm now 23). I've hailed a cab (finally) and am on my way home from dinner at --yes -- Gramercy Tavern. My party included Jed (of course) with girlfriend Tasha, Luke who was there with his date (this incredibly hot Asian chick whom he's obviously just met and is probably going to fuck for the first time tonight. I couldn't help recalling the St. Patricks day fiasco when I actually got a glimpse of Luke's cock, and if its still as fuck thick as it was then (and nearly 8 inches as well) this babe could be in some trouble. Yeah lets hope she's really "ME SO HORNY!".

We were also there with Roger who has kind of officially finally come out as gay as they say (not that such was any big fucking surprise -not even to me -and people are always telling me that my "gaydar" as they like to amusingly call it is just terrible). He was there with his new muscle bound Cuban fitness trainer/model boyfriend Raciel something. At first I thought great as this will keep Roger from staring at me like a piece of raw meat once he starts drinking and making me feel really uncomfortable, but instead I ended up with BOTH of them staring at me. And I thought I looked like CRAP tonight since I couldn't get my full swim workout in at the Gym and didn't get my late afternoon nap either. Not that I should be mad. After all it was due to Roger that we were able to land reservations anyway since he knows like half the people that work there (although it seems mostly to be in the Biblical sense).

For dinner I had the clam spaghetti and then the chicken and sausage second course. Not unless you think I've completely lost my mind it should be noted that I only ate only a small portion of each and that I really haven't had a real meal since lunch with the guys on Tuesday. What's more I even had fucking DESSERT. Yeah - the Apple tart something or other with Bourbon creme and Butter pecan ice cream.
It's my Birthday -bitches.

You may be able to tell that I've had a little extra Bourbon to go along with that in the dessert. I'm just anxious and bothered since no one will tell me what my Birthday present is? I couldn't help notice that when the bill came Luke and Roger split it between them (it was a little over $1,100) whereas Jed didn't appear to contribute anything. When I noticed this (as I always do since I really hate cheap motherfuckers worse than head lice) he looked at me and grinned "I'm handing your gift". When I pointed out that I hadn't noticed anything resembling Birthday wrap anywhere on the goddamn table he hastened to add --"wait until after Midnight". "Go home and know that it could arrive at anytime within the next 24 hours". and everyone else at the table starts grinning as well -like it must be Raciel's big Cuban cock or something. Fuck this. My Birthday surprise had better be good or I'm going out and buying some new friends.

Comments

You are one funny bitch when you're drunk! I hate surprises too, can't wait for the reveal, Cuban cock or not! :)
 
NoH8;bt112759 said:
You are one funny bitch when you're drunk! I hate surprises too, can't wait for the reveal, Cuban cock or not! :)

hey thanks - I think.

I'm still waiting for somebody's pussy to wish me a "Happy Birthday" at least. And no "Cinco de Mayo" wishes or I'm having your whole family killed.

Boo hoo - if anything's arrived yet Birthday present wise - I've missed it. Maybe it's Tinkerbell flying around -but without her bell. But then I just showered for bed and now I'm naked so maybe I scared her off.
 
Maybe the doorman turned her away? But I doubt it. Skanky isn't your style. Sleep tight and dream sexy dreams , perhaps you'll wake up with her!
 
Brilliant recount mate and have a happy soon to be birthday.I can't wait to hear what happens next :)
Also what is your tumblr?
 
Well, I had a spanish girl ask me one, on HER birthday, could she blow out my big candle....maybe it could be a birthday present...
 

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