My Sexuality

I was a shy kid and that side of me dominated my early life. I had a few friends, both male and female, but never really thought about dating or felt the urge to have sex. On the flipside, my hormones kicked in shortly before my 11th birthday when puberty started. I was masturbating like crazy to satisfy my urges. Yet, that never translated into wanted to do anything with other people, again due to my shyness.

After I graduated from high school I started going out with a girl a graduated with, but she was looking for some action and she would have happily let me fuck her, if only I had wanted it. I honestly never used males or females as images to jack off to. It was more about envisioning myself as an adult.

When I arrived at college I started nude modeling and somehow that was the key to getting over my shyness. I was propositioned by my fellow students, both male and female, to have sex with them and suddenly it sounded good to me. Maybe just being away from home I felt free and like I wouldn't be judged. My mom was cool, but I was her one and only kid and she was protective.

My first sexual experience was with a good looking girl and my dorm room mate. She wanted each of us to fuck her and then for the two of us to double penetrate her. He seemed experienced so I just followed his lead and acted like I had experience, too. My cock was considerable larger than his so the girl was all over me and not that nice to him. After that he and I just didn't get along.

Shortly after that a guy in one of the classes I posed for asked if I would pose privately for him so he would get extra experience to improve his art skills. I agreed and the night I posed for him we got along like old friends and had a great time. He initiated sex with me and it was fantastic. I had been turned on by the girl I fucked and I was also turned on by this guy. After we had sex he had a bigger proposition. He asked me to move in with him, share his bed and have sex with him whenever he wanted it. He said in exchange he would not charge me any living expenses at all and in addition he would host drawing nights where I would model and anyone who attended would directly pay me, and he would not take any cut. The one catch was he liked to invite one or more to stay for sex after the drawing sessions and I had to agree to have sex with whoever he invited.

Here I was this life long shy guy who never ever thought about sex and suddenly I had had sex with a female and then a male, and another male, if I add in the guy who double penetrated the girl with me. I agreed to the proposition without even really thinking much about it. I even shocked myself. I viewed it as a way to get away from my dorm room mate and to make money to help pay my way through school.

Over the next few years I had sex with numerous people and never felt more passion for one sex than the other. I simply loved sex. I had no shame at all about how many people I fucked and didn't care who knew it, except my mom was in the dark about it all. I never felt awkward though when a girl knew I was living with and fucking a guy.

Around the time I was graduating from college I had determined I was more inclined toward men than women. I landed a job in another city and headed into my new life and thought of myself as a gay man who would soon be seeking a boyfriend. After a few dates with guys I was sexually attracted to, but not emotionally or mentally invested in, I met the guy. We fell for each other almost immediately and ended up living together very happily for two years. My gay life was a success. I even told my mom about it. Progress.

Then he and I started drifting apart. We still loved each other and still were great friends, but I guess you could say our outside interests were so different that we started spending less and less time together as a couple. At the same time I met this incredible women. Here I was happily gay and I was fully turned on by a women. WTF!

When I told my bf about this woman, it was like a relief came over him as there was also a guy he had been thinking about more and more, but hadn't acted on it yet. I fell hard in love with the woman and we started talking marriage. I told her I could not promise I could stop having sex with men and surprisingly she told me to do what I needed to for myself, but she didn't ever want to see me with a man or hear about what I did. We got married and had three kids who are now well on their way to adulthood.

So, the gay guy I had been turned straight and for years I was completely faithful. Then one day my best friend came to me and said his wife had shut down sexually and he did not want to cheat on her with another woman. He is straight and had never done anything with a guy, but knew I had M2M experience and he felt safe with me. He also knew I have a super high sex drive and figured we could help each other out.

That relationship started with us giving each other massages, but quickly evolved into fucking, sucking, frot, etc. So now I am an active bisexual again. I am head of heals in love with my wife and we have fantastic sex, but she knows I have a high drive and she doesn't even mind me jacking off beside her in bed on days she doesn't want sex. I think that is pretty amazing.

Surprisingly, opening up my M2M side that had been dormant for so long has not given me any major urge to stray further. I am so content with everything as it is now, except with the pandemic my buddy and I are on hold because our families are at home and we don't have privacy.

I guess all of this rambling is just to tell you if are unsure about your own sexuality, don't suppress who you truly are. Explore the things that make you happy. You may find something you thought would be great ended up not being the right thing at all. I am just happy I didn't allow myself to be boxed in and I gave myself the opportunity to take a different path and I became this super happy man who feels like he is living the dream. Don't miss your own dream without giving it a shot.

Alex

Comments

This is so cool!

"... so the girl was all over me and not that nice to him. After that he and I just didn't get along." Too bad this happened. :/
 
Yes, it is too bad. We were not exceptionally close before that episode, but were getting along fine. I think that night he thought he was going to be the star and it upset him that she was into me. I felt bad for him, but he was acting immature about it. It wasn't my fault she preferred me. I didn't even do anything intentional to make that happen. I am grateful that it all happened as it was his attitude that got me to move and start down the path that lead me to explore and find myself.
 

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