My Straight -Brownskin Dreamlover Types (I Got a DL brotha to say He Loved Me)

He would talk deeply and deep stuff to me on the phone like Jill Scott's song Love Rain says.He looked just like this guy except he was College boi in his late 20s. I can dream hard and wish more for a cute brotha to spend time with me or I can let alot of people into downlow and swinger local groups take my life over, because they dont understand I didnt have any siblings, I didnt have a father. I'm actually looking for that love I missed in a dominating partner I think. I'm just lost in love I guess since I met N.D. (No names mentioned but hes a young black doctor now). But anyways, I love this type of Guy. Brownskin, Military, Clean Cut, Fit. Just the anthem of all my songs, music and dreams since I became a Man anyways. So I pray for freedom from this crush And/or I will continue accept it. And my other fantasy of Mixed Boiz until God takes me home I guess.
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People ask me why I couldnt decide between the 5'9 Brownskin dudes or the Yella Boiz. And my answer was always, what if I have had the best love conversations with one but never would see the mf (because Brownskin Cute boiz do alot of disappearing act stuff forreal) or because the Lightskin dudes always spent time with me listening to Prince music or having fun????HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AS A GAY BOY WITH STRAIGHT FRIENDS you went to Camps with or Church or College who looked like Chris Brown or Steph Curry that you didnt want to lose by approaching them???